A demonstration of how to drive guys off
by Professional scatterbrain
Summary: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off was Stephanie's brain child, unfortunatly said guy was Jeff Hardy and unfortunalty Lita was giving the demonstration. Let the games begin. LitaJeff
1. Chapter 1

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Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Rating: Pg – 13

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know surefire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life)

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well

-Happy endings

-No roster split

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish

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**Chp1: The Catalyst **

* * *

When he held her, it seemed like she was minuscule. 

Like a little dove in his arms.

She really was tiny. He always had to remind himself of that. Normally she was always moving, and always racing along with a million things on her mind. To him, she always seemed like something from dreams, something so surreal and removed from reality. But as he carried her up to her room with a gaggle of her friends following him, Jeff Hardy was once again reminded of how delicate Lita could be when her facade of ice queen of extreme was gone.

"You know Jeffery, you're my best friend in the whole wide world," she mumbled into his collar bone.

Half asleep, and more than half drunk, she was fragile and malleable in his arms. She curled like a cat around his form, clinging to him. It had not been a good night for her. Actually, if the full truth was told, it had not been a good night for either of them. But for her, it had been worse, and with Stephanie and Dawn Marie refilling her glass, while Torrie dopily pointed out what was already obvious to everyone, the night had quickly degenerated into a series of very unfortunate events that lead to him carrying her back to her hotel room.

"We just wanted to cheer her up," Dawn Marie vainly tried to explain as she caught up to Jeff, "We didn't even think that 'they' would be at the same place,"

Shrugging her perfectly coiled brunette tresses over her shoulder, Dawn managed to unbuckle the death defying heels on the redhead's feet, and then hook them over Jeff's shoulder. She managed an almost guilty smile, and then she bit her lip. Like the intoxicated redhead in his arms, Dawn too found it painful to apologise. She also found it difficult to express gratitude. So she left it to Torrie; a woman whose place in the friendship group was a mystery to the other three, especially to Stephanie McMahon who still was unable to get past her feelings of irritation when it came to the blonde.

"It was totally above and beyond Jeff," Torrie praised, "I mean, taking on all those guys, and defending her honor. You're like our knight in shinning amour."

Torrie then looked for conformation of her statement. Dawn nodded a little, while Stephanie merely decided to take the lead. Stalking ahead, her heels clicked viciously on the marble floor and she looked every bit like the ball buster she prided herself in being. She, in comparison to the others, did not believe in apologies, nor did she invest much belief in gratitude. Therefore, any actions on Jeff's part were nothing more than something she herself could have taken care of if the situation had been left in her control.

"We can take over from here," Stephanie stated, turning on her heels to face Jeff.

A dark look momentarily flashed through Jeff's eyes, "No, it's alright, I can take Li to her room."

Neatly manicured finger tips held a key card up to the light, and with a familiar warning smile that Jeff had seen before, Stephanie coldly responded, "Seeing as we are outside her room, it seems as though your duty is complete."

"Steph!" Torrie whispered in a shocked tone, "Don't be so rude."

Shifting on her feet, Dawn quickly jolted Stephanie out of the way, defusing the situation as she opened the door and quickly ushered Jeff in. But he still glared at the woman of the hour, kissing Lita lightly on her temple as a show of obvious affection. Stephanie wrinkled her nose in disgust. Jeff smirked. The two had not gotten along for quite some time, and if Lita wasn't in such a scrap, then they would have avoided each other as usual.

"Jeffery?" questioned a dizzy redhead, "Can you stay tonight? Pretty please . . ."

Placing Lita onto the bed, Jeff opened his mouth to answer, but Stephanie beat him too it.

"Sorry sweetheart, but Jeff can' stay tonight. He's got to go get ready for TNA tomorrow. He's got a big match and you don't want him to mess it up do you?"

Huge doe like eyes widened guiltily, and almost like a child, Lita shook her head, and haphazardly focused her gaze on Jeff, "No, I'd never want to mess anything up for you. Not ever again."

"Li, you're my best friend, you could never -"

Interrupting him yet again, Stephanie grinned, "I guess you'll be on your way then Hardy now we've got that settled

With sad eyes, Lita looked up at Jeff and waved, as if saying farewell for the last time. He almost snarled at Stephanie but she just smirked and before he could speak another word he'd been shooed out of the room forcefully by the billion dollar princess. With a scowl on her pretty face, Stephanie dusted off her hands, as if the few seconds touching Jeff's shoulders as she pushed him out of the doorway had tainted her. Torrie meanwhile, looked at her aghast, her mouth wide open.

"You might want to close your trap," Stephanie recommended prettily, "Christian might get some ideas."

Snapping her jaw shut, a dark blush covered Torrie's heart shaped face and she looked away. Satisfied with both results of her toils, Stephanie daintily sat down next to Lita, and crossed her legs neatly at her ankles. Smoothing her skirt, Stephanie looked down at Lita's expectantly. Awaiting an explanation, she nudged Lita's side to gain her somewhat wandering attention.

"What was that back in the club Lita?" Stephanie asked in a rather cool and polished tone.

"Stephanie! Not now!" Dawn gasped, horrified, "It wasn't her fault that it all happened like it did."

Lacing her fingers together, Stephanie looked pained, "I wasn't talking about the run in with the older Hardy and his bitch. Though that was a pill of an experience."

"Then what Steph? What is important enough for you to insult Jeff, Li's best friend, and then find reason to interrogate poor Li after the night she had?" Dawn asked protectively as she placed her hand on the redhead's feverous temple.

Lita smiled up at the mentioning of her name. It was a sweet dopey smile and then closed her eyes. She mumbled a little about Jeff and a camel named Bob, and Torrie looked intrigued. As an avid aficionado of dream reading and the like, both Dawn and Stephanie could quite accurately guess what was running through the blondes mind. Studying Lita like tea leaves had always been Torrie favorite past time. But then again, Lita had always been soft on Torrie, however in comparison neither one of the other two women put up with such riff raff so it probably made sense that Lita had always ended up being the blondes test subject.

Stephanie was distracted.

Dawn was not.

"What Stephanie? What is so important?"

The Billion dollar princess sighed, irritated by Dawn's insistent tone, "I didn't like what Lita said back in the club,"

Torrie pursed her lips, as if unsure of herself, "But Matt is an asshole . . . isn't he?"

Stephanie stared at her in disbelief, and spoke very slowly, "Yes Torrie, Matt is an asshole but that's not the point."

Torrie shrunk back into the corner. Somehow, her footing was always uneven when she faced the ball buster McMahon and the Venus like Dawn Marie. Thus she rarely spoke up to Stephanie. In truth she rarely spoke at all in these sorts of hostile situations. From experience she had always found that it was better to stay out of them, as most of the time it didn't concern her in the least.

"What is the point?" Torrie asked tentatively.

But although Torrie was sufficiently confused, Dawn seemed to know what Stephanie meant.

"Li didn't mean it. She's was just drunk. You know how she gets."

Stephanie sniffed at that, "Normally she calls up Jeff and goes on and on about how he's her best friend in the whole wide world. Well, that or something strange about a camel named Bob. She doesn't normally go on and on about how she knows surefire ways of driving guys off."

"She's just had a bad year," Dawn reasoned, her face set as she pulled the blankets over her friend, "It's understandable that she feels like that."

Stephanie nodded a little in understanding, "I guess your right, but I still can't help thinking it's something to worry about. I mean, its ridicules to think that Lita's 'cursed' with bad luck,"

Suddenly Lita cracked her eyes open wearily; they were still glazed over due to the drinks the two brunettes had paid for, but she seemed a little more lucid than when Jeff was carrying her, "It is a curse! Ever single guy that I've been around has run to the hills! I'm like poison! I always do and say the wrong things, and I always drive away!"

"I think your being over dramatic." Stephanie commented dismissively, "You need to rest. We'll speak about this tomorrow morning."

"But I'm not being over dramatic." Lita exclaimed emotionally, "I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not! I always mess things up. I can never do anything right. I'm a disaster with guys."

Stephanie looked at her watch. Dawn glanced worriedly at Torrie. Stephanie normally, like Torrie, had quite a soft spot for Lita. In a matter of fact, so did Dawn, but that wasn't the point. The point was, when Stephanie looked at her watch, it was a sign she was going the end the conversation she viewed as unwanted in a quick and at times manipulative manner.

"Alright then Lita. How about we put your theory to the test."

"Stephanie, no." Dawn snapped, but the other woman didn't listen.

She never did.

That was the problem.

"What do you mean?" Lita asked in a small confused voice.

Stephanie stood, and paced a little, "You believe that you are bad luck, and that guys run in the other direction when you approach. All I'm suggesting is for you give us a demonstration Lita."

"I don't think this is a good idea," Torrie pleaded nervously.

"Then don't think." Stephanie snapped.

Recoiling, Torrie seemed very childlike. In a too tight party dress with her blonde hair in curled coils she did seem like a little girl being reprimanded by the class bully. Normally in these situations one of remaining two friends would defend her, usually Lita. But that night, with Lita incapacitated, and Dawn gapping at Stephanie no help was found. Maybe that was why the night ended as it did.

"Don't make fun of me." The redhead high flyer frowned, speaking up.

Stephanie's heels clicked over the floor as she continued to pace, "I'm not. All I'm doing is asking you to give us, your best friends an example of how exactly you cause men to run in the other direction when they see you."

Rubbing her eyes, Lita yawned, seeming not to have heard most of that the brunette said, replied singingly, "Jeff's my best friend. My best friend in the entire world. He said he'd take me to the park tomorrow to feed the ducks. He's my best friend."

Scowling, Stephanie moved so she was sitting next to Lita, catching her eye, Stephanie spoke again, this time sharply, "Focus Lita. We're not talking about Rainbow boy; we're talking about what you said earlier this evening."

Lita's eyes narrowed, "Matt's an ass-"

Stephanie interrupted her, "Not that. We're talking about what you said about you being hopeless with guys, and you said you'd give us a demonstration."

"I did?"

"No-"

"Don't-"

But both Torrie and Dawn's indignant responses were cut short by a harsh look from the youngest McMahon. She was rather good at those looks, and her position of dominance in the friendship wasn't for nothing.

Soothingly, Stephanie responded to Lita's confusion, "Yes you did. You said that you'd show us exactly how you drive men away."

Blinking, Lita trustingly looked up at her friend, "Oh, alright."

"Steph, this is uncalled for, Li is drunk she doesn't know what she's saying!" Dawn angrily reprimanded the other brunette, "You're taking advantage of her."

Stephanie rolled her eyes.

"We're just having some fun, aren't we Lita? Anyway, she's already agreed, haven't you Lita?"

Dawn didn't like how Stephanie was saying Lita's name, it almost sounded like a threat.

Lita in her current state didn't seem to notice, "I guess so . . ."

"Right then its all settled, Lita's going to show us exactly how a man gets driven off by her."

"Which man?" Lita mumbled sleepily.

Stephanie's eyes sparkled. It acted as a rather affective warning sign to the other women, but there was nothing they could do to stop her. When Stephanie was in one of her moods, nothing short of her mother Linda could come close to stopping Stephanie in her tracks. Unfortunately with Vince and Shane on Linda's plate, Stephanie hadn't really aroused much of her mother's attention since the family reconciled. As the youngest child of the family, Stephanie well knew the value of flying under the radar, and she wasn't about to mess it up the second time around.

Meanwhile, her mind was simmering over, going through the possible candidates.

It didn't take her long to find the ideal one.

"Jeff Hardy."

"Oh," Lita stated tonelessly, but then, in a bright voice she continued obliviously, "He's my best friend. Did you know that? He said he's take me to feed some ducks tomorrow morning before he leaves. Isn't that exciting?"

"Yes it is Lita. I know we're all excited about you showing us how you drive guys off. Especially since you said you'd show us using Jeff as an example."

"I did?"

"Yes you did." The brunette cooed convincingly.

"Oh . . . okay." Lita mumbled unquestioningly in response, dopily looking up at Stephanie with wide hazy eyes.

"Good girl. Now, you better get some sleep, and we'll come back tomorrow morning to talk more about this."

The only sound that was heard in the quiet room was her small voice calling out, "Alright Stephie, night night Dawnie, night night Torrie."

Then repeating her earlier actions, Stephanie shooed Dawn and Torrie out of Lita's room in much the same manner that she had disposed of Jeff. As she did so, Lita waved tiredly, her eyes already blinking sleepily. All Dawn and Torrie could do was watch as Stephanie slammed to door shut on there friend and hope that it would all blow over the next morning when Lita was lucid.

But somehow that wasn't as reassuring as it should have been.

* * *

This (if you've read any of my other fics) is my first attempt at writing something a little more (okay, a lot more) light hearted. 

It is as I stated at the begining of this chapter,based on a challenge by Karen U. I started writing it a while ago, and it's kind of ironic that she'd also started a response to the same challenge. Yet hers is a very benevolent Lita/John Cena fic is about Lita finding the perfect man, while mine the slightly malevolent concept of Lita's friends trying to drive him away from her. But non the less I hope you enjoyed the first chapter; expectit to be one of ten.

Anyway, R&R

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	2. The Demonstration

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish:I chose Stephanie, Torrie and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp2: The 'Demonstration' **

* * *

Jeff Hardy

Dawn should have known Stephanie would choose him.

The other brunette had never liked Lita's 'best friend', especially given the recent events. As Stephanie placed a glass of sparkling mineral water before the listless redhead, Dawn couldn't help but fear the worst. Stephanie wasn't a bad person; she was Lita's friend, and Stephanie adored Lita in her own way. However when the brunette got something into her head she didn't let it go until she was good and ready. Dawn feared this 'demonstration' was just another example of that, and because she knew Stephanie, and Dawn unlike the typical blonde Torrie could fully comprehended exactly what the youngest McMahon child was capable of.

Especially when it came to Jeff Hardy.

Seated in a small out of the way café Stephanie didn't even waste a moment on small talk, instead choosing to enter right into the conversation that she had started the night before. But Dawn wasn't surprised, and she could tell that Lita had already picked up on that and the overwhelming nervousness in their blonde friend. Even half asleep Lita could still read her friends easier than they liked.

"So, Lita, continuing our discussion from last night I was wondering when you're going to commence the demonstration."

Bleary eyes looked up from her glass of water, and she struggled to focus on Stephanie, "What?"

"Beg your pardon. Not 'what'." Stephanie corrected, then with her usual utilitarian flair she redirected the conversation back to the original topic, "Last night you decided to give us an example."

Tension filled the air, and Lita felt like she was the only one who didn't understand why. Backtracking, she tried to remember what had happened the night before. Something was pressing at the back of her aching mind, but she couldn't remember what. All she did remember was going out and having a truly horrid time. Her head now throbbed in alcohol induced pain but that was nothing compared to the events of the past night. But despite all that, Lita still had the feeling that they weren't talking about the spectacularly awful happenings that had occurred in the club.

Darting her large hazel eyes from Torrie's guilty face to Dawn's angry one, Lita worriedly pushed back her drink before tentatively asking, "What sort of example?"

Shifting in their seats, Dawn and Torrie looked wildly uncomfortable. Torrie was pulling on her neat hair, ruining the curls that Lita knew the blonde probably spent her entire morning fixing perfectly. Dawn was no better as she glared at Stephanie darkly. Finally, Dawn broke her glare, and hesitantly meet Lita's gaze.

"To show us how to lose a guy." Dawn mumbled.

Shocked eyes.

"What? Is this some kind of warped bet?" Lita snapped, her temper flaring, "Because I don't think I agree to any bet last night-"

"It's not a bet per say," Stephanie interrupted, "It's just . . . a challenging demonstration. This of it as educational. Not only will it give you best friends a chance to learn from your actions, but it'll stop you from wallowing."

But Lita didn't seem to have heard any of Stephanie's euphemisms. The redhead's careful mind had instantly zeroed in on the brunettes choice of words. Best friends. Best friend. Lita's face paled, and her hands shook for an instant before she grabbed hold of her now flat glass of mineral water and took a large gulp.

She just knew it.

With that look of Stephanie's face, Lita just knew.

How could she not?

Stephanie always got that look on her face when it came to him.

"It's Jeff isn't."

It wasn't a question.

"You chose Jeff didn't you Stephie?"

Lita was getting angry now. Her eyes were flashing and her voice uncharacteristically cold. She was angry, and Stephanie should have known better. Stephanie seemed to almost look guilty for a moment, but then it was gone, replaced by a polished look Lita was certain the brunette had used many times before in order to get what she wanted.

"How is Jeff Hardy doing?" Stephanie asked with a hint of charm, "I've been hearing rumou-"

Lita rolled her eyes, "You of all people know not to put any weight into rumours. Besides, you're trying to distract me."

Stephanie could concede that, and she did, setting down her glass and fixing her eyes firmly onto Lita. Linking her fingers together, she looked exactly like a business woman about to make a deal. In a way that could be true. Stephanie always liked a good deal, and she was certain this one would more than exceed her expectations especially with Jeff Hardy in the starring role.

"Look, I've been hearing that Jeffy isn't doing so well. With his second suspension without pay I know you've been lending him money to keep afloat."

Lita bristled in anger as Stephanie referred to Jeff using Lita's pet name, quickly responded, "Jeff paid me back. Everyone gets into a tough stop now and then, even you."

Stephanie was silenced by that. Torrie and Dawn glanced at each other confused about the sudden shift in the conversation. Billion dollar princess Stephanie ever needing Lita financial help? Impossible. Stealing a look at the two women in question, Torrie and Dawn were simply mystified by the situation. Lita was looking directly at Stephanie, not even flinching. Meanwhile Stephanie was blushing a little; her cheeks tinged red in embarrassment. But then the moment was over, and any insight that could have been gained was lost.

Intimidating once more, Stephanie smiled a flippant smile, "Well as much as I'm sure Jeff loves calling you each time another check bounces, I have an offer which could change all of that. . . Unless you like having Jeff begging for your money every time he gets the monthly bills."

Low blow.

Her family was famous for them.

Now Lita was the one blushing in embarrassment.

"When Jeff left my father's employment the percentage of the profits from his merchandise and the like which would have normally gone to him if he still worked for the WWE, was discontinued. If you agree to give your dear friends a demonstration of how to drive a guy away, I'll reinstate all of the profits and I'll make sure he's paid retroactively. Think about that Li. That's quite a lot of money; money he could sorely use. All you have to do is agree to the demonstration."

"Bet you mean." Lita challenged.

Stephanie shrugged, "Bet's a rather crude word."

"But fitting." Dawn snapped.

Stephanie laughed, "Come on Dawn, don't be so precious about the Hardy boy. He won't get hurt, and at the end of it, I'll go take all the blame so he and Lita can be best buddies again."

Dawn narrowed her eyes at her friends claim, not in the slightest convinced that Stephanie didn't want to hurt Jeff. What was this bet if not a chance to destabilize the only stable relationship that Lita had ever had? Jeff was her best friend, but even then as Dawn was watching Lita, it was obvious that the redheads resolve was weakening. Lita had been worrying about him over the past few months. She'd been fretting quite a lot actually. For there was quite a bit of truth in the rumors. He really wasn't doing that well.

"Don't do this Lita, don't even think about agreeing to this." Dawn ordered sharply, "It's not worth it."

Lita looked down into her hands.

"Li, please don't," Torrie whispered quietly.

But Lita couldn't help considering it. She knew how hard it was for Jeff. He hated having to put people in the position to look after him. His whole life he'd been the younger brother, the baby that needed extra care and concern. Each time he'd called her asking for a lend of some money Lita had known it was racking him with guilt. Even though to her it was just money, she understood that for Jeff it was more than that. It was about him not being independent. It was about him once again being forced to depend on others to look after him.

Finally Lita spoke, this time in a small voice, "I'm not going do anything horrid. I'll push him away, but I won't hurt him while doing it. Clear?"

" Crystal." Stephanie crooned joyously.

"Lita! Don't you dare go through with this!" Dawn cried out aghast, "It's not worth it."

But it was.

Jeff had been so good to her.

The least she could do was try to take care of him.

Dawn pulled on Lita's arm, trying to gain her attention, but yet again, Stephanie had another ace up her sleeve. She was smiling widely, and had already summoned a waiter to pay the check. Meanwhile, even Torrie spoke forcefully, attempting to convince her friend to undo the agreement. But to no avail.

"Hey, there's Jeff now." Stephanie announced, her cornflower eyes immediately spotting him, "I guess he's here to pick you up for the duck feeding session you two planned. He's even holding a loaf of bread, isn't that cute. Now you have fun Lita, we'll talk later."

Turning, Lita spotted Jeff. He waved at her, and after a beat she waved back. Torrie was quiet now, her pretty face pensive as she watched Jeff. Dawn too had quieted, but instead of sticking around, she swore at Stephanie and stormed out of the café only pausing to say a quick greeting to Jeff. Oblivious to what he had walked into, Jeff grinned widely and practically jumped from foot to foot in excitement. He hadn't spent much time with Lita in the last few months and even Stephanie could see that he was more than happy to be with her now.

"Hey what's with those long faces?" Jeff questioned as he bounded up to the table, "You listening to McMahon talk about her sex life with Trips again, cause that's enough to make even a grown man cry."

Stephanie eyed Jeff off icily, "When did you become a man?"

With a cocky wink, Jeff stated, "I've always been a man Princess,"

"Yeah, you've been a real 'man' ever since Trish popped your cherry," Stephanie sneered sarcastically, "But even now that you're wearing big boys pants your claim to manhood is tenuous at best."

"I would say the same thing about your womanhood, but as J.R says, you can speak seven languages but can't say no in any of them,"

Stephanie blatantly eyed him up, not in the least amused like Dawn would have been had she stuck around, "Big words for such as . . . wait, how did Trish put it? . . . such a very 'little man'."

Stephanie blinked innocently. Jeff gave her the finger, halting any further retort mainly because of Lita's presence. She didn't like it when they fought nor did she like it when Trish was brought up into the conversation or in Jeff and Stephanie's case, their bickering. Nudging the redhead over, Jeff pulled her onto his lap, and with a forgiving smile she let him. Kissing her temple, he then took her half eaten breakfast and started eating at a maddening pace. Stephanie glared triumphantly at him for a moment pleased with his apparent retreat from the line of fire.

"So Bella Lita," he crooned gleefully, "Are you ready for some quality Jeff time?"

Stephanie snorted into her napkin at that stunning declaration. Lita suddenly seemed unsure, and even Jeff seemed to pick up the tension between the three friends. Though nothing was said aloud, Jeff was sure as Torrie fiddled with her glittery purse, and while Stephanie determinedly met Lita's eyes, that each of the three were communicating something big without words. Patting Lita's shoulder, he helped her up, stealing looks at the other two women while he did so.

Awkward silence.

It lingered, and Jeff itched to move.

Surprisingly it was Torrie who disrupted the silence, "You better go Li. You don't want to keep Jeff waiting for you."

No, Lita didn't want that.

Didn't want that at all . . .

* * *

She couldn't seem to breathe. 

It was like her heart had stopped beating and she was . . .

She was suffocating.

Lita couldn't believe she had agreed to this. Damn Stephanie for manipulating her into accepting the bet. Lita knew Jeff needed what Stephanie was offering, but still, it felt wrong and Lita didn't know what to do. Another necessary evil perhaps. Lita didn't know. All she did know was it was too late to back out. The deal had been made, and Stephanie always kept her word. She also consistently made certain that the other party kept their word too. But she couldn't meet Jeff's eyes. Sitting in the park next to Jeff with a loaf of stale bread in her hands she tried to concentrate on feeding the ducks swimming about in front of them but she couldn't.

She felt so awkward, and she hardly ever felt awkward around Jeff.

But she was. She couldn't help it. She had never felt more uncomfortable or more embarrassed in her life. Twitching a little, she bit her lip, forcing herself to act natural. It didn't work. By her side Jeff kept shooting her concerned looks, and he nudged her hip wordlessly asking what was wrong. She blushed.

Sighing, Jeff finally caught her gaze, "You shouldn't be embarrassed."

"What?" she squeaked.

She didn't think the bet was that obvious.

Patting her hand, he took the loaf of bread from her, and broke off a chunk for the gaggle of geese that had appeared, "I've seen you drunk before. Remember last New Years Eve? You threw up all over my front lawn and my new shoes."

She scowled at the memory he had brought up, and blushed a darker red.

His eyes widened when he realized what he had done, "Sorry, I shouldn't have reminded you of that again."

"It's not that," she mumbled, shifting to draw her coat around her even tighter.

Understanding filtered through his eyes, "Matt knows we're best mates. Just because you and him aren't together anymore doesn't mean anything has changed between us. I've told you that before, and I mean it Li. You're my best friend, nothing could alter that."

Her heart almost broke at his earnest expression, and she almost let go of the breath she had been holding; it wasn't about the bet. He hadn't caught on. God, the bet had only existed for a couple of hours and already she was going insane. As if he could have known? She only found out about it earlier that morning.

He was looking at her expectantly.

She then felt horrid. A stab of guilt attacked her when she realized the first thing she'd thought of was the bet and not him. Here he was, loyal Jeff, reassuring her of his friendship, and all she could think about was the bet. She didn't deserve him. She never had. He was far too good for her, and the recent months after her train wreck break up with both Matt and Edge had proven that. Jeff had never once let her down, and never once backed away from their friendship even with the conflict and pain she had caused him because of her actions.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," she found herself whispering.

His face was etched with concern, "Did something happen Li? Is there anything wrong?"

She looked down at the hand he now was holding. His long fingers, with paint still under his nails comforted her, but she couldn't forgive herself for getting herself into this position. She couldn't ever forgive herself for compromising Jeff because of some stupid bet Stephanie had somehow sweet talked her into participating in. No, the more accurate term, was blackmail. She was blackmailed into this position, caught between a rock and a hard place with no way of getting out. Stephanie knew exactly what she was doing back there in the café, and she had used the means to get what she wanted.

And it was Jeff.

Jeff.

Her best friend.

Huge, glittering green eyes watched her with concern that made her shiver. He was so good to her. Too good for her, and now because of a stupid bet she was going to have to drag him through the dirt. He was her best friend; he had been for so many years. She looked away, and she felt his grip on her hand tighten.

"It's just something Steph said-"

"I don't see why you put up with her," Jeff interrupted with a frown on his face, "No one else does, and especially when she's such a bitch to you."

"Don't swear,"

Ignoring her reprimand, Jeff continued, "She always upsets you."

"She's my friend," Lita told him sharply.

And Stephanie was Lita's friend.

They were friends, and she knew as soon as she spoke, Jeff heard her silent warning. He backed off . . . for now at least. He'd never particularly forgiven Stephanie. Lita didn't know the details, but years ago, before she came into the picture they had run in the same circles, then they didn't, and the effects of the fall out were still felt to that very day.

He nudged her shoulders meekly.

"Cheer up Charlie, give me a smile," he told her.

She groaned, feigning annoyance.

"What happened to the smile I used to know? Don't you know your grin has always been my sunshine," He continued to croon, now grinning widely as she blushed and ducked her head into his shoulder.

It was impossible to stay angry with Jeff, especially when he began to serenade her with songs from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Struggling not to laugh, she bit her lip, but even then Jeff felt the small smile pressed against his neck. He laughed loudly, and threw an arm around her shoulders joyfully. Slapping him in the ribs, she wrenched herself away, but he only giggled uncontrollably at her attempt to silence him.

"Better now?" he questioned with a beamingly happy look on his face, once he had finally quieted down.

"Don't be a prat." She tried to stubbornly tell him, but he didn't believe her for a second.

His kissed her cheek again, and hugged her tight.

Then with a mischievous smile, he grabbed a large chunk of bread and slammed it into the pond, splashing her with water. Shrieking, she pulled away from him and raced away. Chasing after her, Jeff easily caught up, picking her up and spinning her around until she was dizzy.

"Better now?" he asked again, this time quietly.

"Much," she told him.

But for some reason he didn't quite believe her.

* * *


	3. The First Tactic

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp3: The first tactic **

* * *

D - Day.

Lita looked over at Stephanie half heartedly and waited for the tirade to commence.

The brunette was filing her nails as she waited for her lunch to be delivered to the table. Sitting beside her, Torrie was playing around with her mobile phone still trying to change the language back to English from Greek. Another long story. A story that involved the Big Show for some reason and the only good thing that had come out of it was Torrie's new ability to say the words menu and text message in a foreign language. Dawn was rather bemused by this misuse of her first language, and had made her opinion on that matter clear more than once.

More or less, it was a normal morning for the four friends . . . apart from one little detail.

The Demonstration.

Like always Stephanie took control of the conversation.

"We decided to start out small, and to let you chose your first tactic. After all this is your demonstration of how to drive off a man, not ours," She announced as if she was given Lita a huge underserved favor.

Gee, thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Stephanie missed the look of distain that marred Lita's face, and instead continued with an excited look on hers, "So what will it be? A million phone calls? Attaching yourself to him so he never gets a single moment alone? What?"

But Lita's attention had wandered, and Dawn was the first to notice why. A couple had just walked in. Two blondes. Two Canadians. Two champions. Lita ducked her head. Her ex best friend and her ex boyfriend. She heard them laugh, and Lita had never felt more wretched. It was as if all had been forgiven for them. Trish was Women's Champion and once again fan favourite while Edge had finally climbed to the top of the mountain, defeating John Cena for the title, in a match that he personally considered ended all title matches.

"Li, we can leave if you want." Dawn suggested sympathetically.

Stephanie coughed, and her eyes narrowed in a shark like manner, "We were here first; if anyone is going to leave, it's going to be them."

Standing up, she stalked over to the pair taking a seat at the table the blonde pair where situated at. Even at the other side of the café, Lita could see the tart anger in the brunettes controlled glare, and the effect of her pointed words. But then Edge had to look at her. When his huge blue eyes meet hers, all Stephanie's words, and all Dawn's death glares meant nothing, and Lita felt like her heart was made of elastic bands and they all were snapping at that very moment.

She looked down at her plate of uneaten breakfast.

She pushed it away.

Suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore.

"Oh sweetie," Torrie cooed softly, "Don't get upset,"

Shuffling closer to the redhead, Torrie wrapped one arm awkwardly around Lita's shoulders, and hugged her offering comfort. It was a familiar scene unfortunately. Lita and Edge now tried to stay out of each others way, but every now and then . . . Lita guessed it was unavoidable given where, and how they worked. She also guessed that she should have learnt her lesson about relationships with wrestlers quite a while ago.

But that lesson didn't stick.

Nor did the one about not accepting free drinks from Stephanie.

Flouncing self satisfied back to the table, Stephanie was smirking like the cat that ate the canary, "I've taken care of them. Don't worry; they won't bother us again,"

"Back to your old tricks," Dawn commented with an uncommonly sharp look in her eyes, "Just like old times,"

Stiffly Stephanie straightened her shoulders, "If you want to say something Dawn Marie, say it."

Dawn opened her mouth, but then after a beat she closed it, her eyes shifted away to Stephanie and back to Lita. Anther practiced change of focus. Stephanie's smirk faded, and was replaced with an aggrieved look. Quickly, she realized the effect the limited interaction with Edge had on Lita. Her normally straight shoulders were slumped, and Stephanie felt her stomach drop at the down trodden look on the redheads face.

"You know he's started calling me the Kiss of Death too. He said that because of me his career-"

"Li, don't listen to him," Torrie interrupted her with concern shinning in her eyes, and patting her hand, "It's not true,"

Lita shrugged and whispered in a heartbreakingly mellifluously voice, "It is, just look at me. Matt was going so well by himself and then when we got back together his career fell apart. Edge was in line to go after the heavy weight championship belt but that all got so messed up the moment I got together with him, and its only afterward we broke up that he's getting any credibility back. It's like the moment I get involved with a guy; I completely destroy their life, ruining all their chances of success in one foul swoop."

"No you don't Li," Torrie replied gently.

"Yes I do," Lita whispered in a choked voice.

"Oh Li . . ." Torrie comforted, her voice sounding hollow as it filled the stagnant air between the women.

No one said a word.

Then after a static moment, Stephanie rapped her nails against the table quickly gaining the other three women's attention, "It looks like we've found our first tactic."

Dawn hit the table with her fist at the other brunette's words. Fury spread through her eyes at Stephanie's tactless and manipulative response to Lita's exposed vulnerability. Lita never spoke candidly, and Dawn was appalled by Stephanie's response. There was a reason Lita so rarely shared anything as personal as she just did, and Stephanie's reaction just illustrated why. Because of that, Dawn knew she couldn't stay in her presence any longer. If she did, Dawn didn't doubt what she could do to the billion dollar princess.

Throwing a couple of bills on the table, Dawn wordlessly gathered her belongings.

"I want no part of this. Steph you're my friend, but if you hurt Lita because of this stupid bet, I won't forgive you."

Storming out of the café, Dawn ignored the calls of Torrie and Lita.

Sometimes she got so tired of Stephanie.

The woman had grown up with the ability and power to order everyone around like her own personal playthings and Dawn detested it when Stephanie tried to do the same thing to her friends. If it wasn't for Lita's insistence that the woman had changed, Dawn doubted that she'd still put up with Stephanie's attitude. But for now, all Dawn wanted to do was go home. She had a plane to catch, and a child to take off 'Uncle' Spike Dudley's hands, and she didn't want to stay a moment longer to watch Stephanie act so maliciously.

Meanwhile, back in the café, Torrie had a frown on her pretty face, "I think I should go too."

"No Barbie, sit stay," Stephanie ordered, "Knowing Dawn, she expects you to remain here and keep me on a tight leash, so you aren't going anywhere until Lita and I finish our conversation. Clear?"

" Crystal," Torrie mumbled chastised into her tea, her eyes downcast . . . but not for long.

Hmm, the tea leaves had formed the shape of a giraffe.

Torrie was sure that meant something quite important. Digging through her handbag for her tea leave interpretation guide, she was sufficiently occupied for Stephanie to continue like nothing had happened. She was all business. But that was normal for her. Once again, Lita was pinned by the sky blue gaze of the youngest McMahon.

That was never a good thing.

"Firstly I think you should go to TNA and see Jeff at work. If Edge thinks you killed his career with your presence and your interference let's see what Jeff thinks after you spend a day or two tailing after his bony arse all day."

With a now somewhat faraway look on her face Torrie completely missed the point of what Stephanie had proposed, and stated girlishly, "Jeff's arse isn't bony. It's quite nice."

She then giggled.

Lita gave Torrie a look but said nothing.

In contrast, Stephanie gave Torrie a not so nice comment, and then explained her proposed tactic further, "Do everything that you did for Edge and Matt. Get Jeff into or out of matches, interfere with matches and with his opponents. Start out slowly, but then get more and more involved."

"But isn't that what Lita used to do when she was in Team Xtreme?" Torrie asked with a little more focus than she had before. "What's the point of all that?"

Stephanie eyed the blonde reproachfully, and spoke very slowly, "Well now it isn't Lita's place to interfere and Jeff won't expected it, nor will he accept it like he did in the past."

The youngest McMahon cracked her knuckles and looked at Lita expectantly. Stephanie was looking forward to the bet. She was downright tried of watching Lita blame herself for every little thing that when wrong in a relationship. As if the other party was faultless! Neither Edge nor Matt were even close to saints and she had more than enough evidence to prove it. Plus, with Hunter on his derange war path trying to knock off Ric Flair and with Jericho in the middle of nowhere playing for that god awful band of his she had nothing to keep her entertained.

"What's the catch?" Lita asked in a sudden rush of words.

Stephanie rolled her eyes.

"Come on Red, you know want to do this. You've got yourself an excuse to hang around with that inbreed for a couple of days with pay since I'm funding this demonstration and you get to fiddle around in his affairs. How long have you wanted to go keep an eye on him and keep him out of trouble?"

Lita stubbornly refused to meet Stephanie's eyes.

Stephanie laughed, "Don't be like that. Come on, you've been dying to go down to Hicksville TNA and kick him back into shape. Especially after all the hearsay and gossip going round about your dear little Jeffy being MIA at the last pay per view."

"So what? Even Trish would have wanted to go down and keep an eye on him after that." Lita stated in a hostile tone.

Stephanie sighed in annoyance, "Stop arguing, it's not becoming for a lady. Even Torrie, shocking as that may sound, can see that you want you do this. Stop acting so frigid."

Both the redhead and the blonde were insulted by Stephanie.

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this,"

"No you weren't!" Torrie shrieked with a hint of hysteria in her voice.

The other two women look at Torrie in surprise. She never spoke like that. The only time either of the women had seen Torrie as outspoken as that was when she was with Victoria and Candace Michelle. But, then again with those two, Torrie's role as leader was easily expected given the individual goals of the two raven haired women.

"Shut up Barbie." Stephanie retorted coldly, effortlessly bring a ceasefire to any rebellion from Torrie, before once again, she refocused her attention on her friend, "Li, remember the conditions of the demonstration. You agreed to this willingly."

"No she didn't!" Torrie cried, but once again she was easily ignored by the other two women as they glared at each other.

Lita was the first one to break the stand off. She had agreed. Not quite willingly, but she had agreed. A promise had been made, and the 'demonstration' was underway whether she liked it or not. Besides . . . how bad could it be? All she needed to do was get Jeff to back off for a bit. Maybe just ruffle him sufficiently so he'd give her the same silent treatment he'd tried to give her when he left the WWE, and . . . and he needed this. He needed the help Stephanie's promise for financial reimbursement would give him.

Stephanie knew Lita was weakening.

But just because Lita had agreed to the bet, didn't mean she had to be gracious about the whole thing.

So, she sniffed reproachfully, coolly stating, "Fine. I agree. Happy now?"

Stephanie smiled a beautiful smile in response, "Yes I am. Now scoot."

* * *

Jeff was surprised when he saw her waiting outside the locker room for him.

Or more correctly he looked like a school boy just gotten caught red handed after breaking the rules.

"Hey Lita . . . uhm wow, isn't this a surprise." He managed to gulp out on in a stuttery mess.

"Why aren't you getting ready for your match?" she asked, quite confused to why he was in his street clothes and was holding his bags in on hand.

His match was only a few hours away, and if she was in his position she'd been getting ready instead of . . . just what was he doing in his street clothes carrying around his wrestling bags? He smiled at her, but it was awkward and flustered. It was the kind of smile he used when he wanted to distract someone. Sometimes it even worked. But not usually with her. After a couple of years of friendship she could almost say that she was immune to it. Well . . . not quite immune, however as he smiled widely at her outside the locker room, now trying to hide the bags out of sight behind his back, she became fairly suspicious.

"I heard your in a tag team match tonight," Lita told him, her eyes narrowing as he flashed his dimples at her.

He only did that when he was really nervy.

"Yeah, I was . . . uhm, just going to check who my tag team partner is."

Taken aback, she looked at him stunned, "You don't know who your partner is? The match is in three hours Jeff!"

He was twitching now, unable to stand still. Nervous and smiling weakly, he shrugged innocently, as if that would charm her into forgetting what he said. She took a step closer to him, and he took a step back, biting his lip and giving her the old puppy dog eyes that still affected her far too much.

Instead of being angry, all she could do was sigh, "How are you going to win if you don't even know whose your partner tonight? You don't even have a plan for how you two will play the match out."

He shrugged feebly, "I thought we'd just wing it."

She scoffed at his logic, and then she straightened her shoulders preparing for the inevitable, "Go get me Christian. I know he's in the locker room boasting about something or another."

"But Lita, come on, it's no big deal, I've winged heaps of matches," he pleaded, his wide glistening eyes imploringly at her.

She took another step closer to him, and he pathetically lowered his head in defeat, "Go get Christian, and put your bags away. I know you got here late so don't even try to lie to me about that. I'll give you four minutes to get change and get Christian. If you're not out by then I'll come in and get you both."

"But Li," he pleaded, "Come on, lighten up."

Lowering her voice menacingly, she opened the locker room door for him, "Do I need to repeat myself?"

"No Lita," he replied reluctantly, grudgingly reentering the locker room.

Watching him until the door swung shut, she crossed her arms and glowered in his general direction. She couldn't believe he was just arriving now, only hours before he had his tag team match. How did he expect to win if he rushing to get ready? Wing it? What nonsense. Did any of the greats' 'wing' their matches? She highly doubted it. Crossing her arms, she tapped her foot as she waited.

What a first tactic.

When the thought crossed her mind, she was taken aback. She'd forgotten all about it. Or rather, it had slipped her mind. It was then, she realised quite strangely that she didn't feel the normal anxiousness that she expected to feel. It felt weirdly like a relief to order him around. She didn't even have to think twice about it like she thought she would.

In the past, she had never seen it as her place.

When he'd left the WWE, he'd made it quite clear that he was tired of being bossed around. He'd likened it to being a cadet in military school with no choice over how he acted, spoke, or lived. Yet she'd ordered him around without backlash. This confused her, and although Lita was certain that Stephanie would have quite pleased by the previous events, the redhead found herself slightly off balance. It was because of this, she didn't head the sound of the locker room opening, and the jeering exit of the 'biggest acquisition ever' leave said area.

"Hello Red, who let you in?" sneered Christian, making her jump.

He laughed, his mouth stretching into an ego filled smirk. He hadn't changed. Not in the least. If anything, she was certain the new environment only made him worse with so much extra attention focused on him. Dressed in bright fire engine red he cried out for attention, and he seemed to bask in it. With a couple of wins under his belt he himself had proclaimed that he was the brightest star in the heavens and took every opportunity to remind people of that fact.

Lita planned to take advantage of that.

She wasn't the only one who knew how to make use of people weaknesses.

"Hello Stranger, I've missed you," she replied without missing a beat, and he looked chuffed at that, "I see your doing quite well down here. It's been so quiet back at WWE without you."

He nodded, as if everything she had said was too tragically true, "Yeah, I'd expect so, after all, they no longer have Captain Charisma there to make the show the hit it once was."

"Our loss is TNA's gain," Lita told him with a pained look of regret placed haphazardly to her face.

"Certainly is," he said, and then he winked at her, "Jeff told me that you wanted to speak to me,"

Looking over at the closed locker room door she asked in a thin voice, "Where is Jeff?"

Christian shrugged uncaringly, "Probably trying to tie his shoe laces correctly. Who knows what they boy is doing? But anyway, what's up pussy cat?"

She really hated being called 'pussy cat'.

Coming from Christian it made her sound like she was one of those B grade James Bond girls.

But she managed to take the 'endearment' in her stride.

With a winning smile directed at full force at him, Lita beseeched, "Jeff's got a tag team match tonight, and he needs a person like you to be his tag team partner."

He held up his hands, "No way Doll, Captain Charisma is a one man act. No one else need apply because I own the show."

She didn't understand a thing he had said, but she pouted anyway pretending to be hurt, "But you and Jeff would be the perfect team. Think about it, 'Captain Charisma' and the 'Charismatic Enigma'."

He laughed loudly, bluntly leering at her while he did so, "Thought about it, don't need to think about it any longer. I don't need anyone hanging onto my coat tail. Besides, Jeff and I spent more time fighting each other than as tag team partners."

"But don't you see how perfect that is!"

Christian scratched his head confused, "No, not really,"

She placed her hand on his arm and smiled convincingly, "You and Jeff know each other like the back of your hands. Together you'll be unbeatable. Just imagine having Jeff in your corner, and not just for tag team matches. He'd be perfect back up for your single matches; no one could predict what he'd do to make sure you get the win you deserve."

He was interested, she could just tell.

His eyes lightened up a little at the promise of assured victories, but Christian was still cautious, "I'm still not convinced,"

Internally, she struggled to control her mounting irritation caused by the conceited Canadian. She almost lost the battle when he beckoned her closer with one finger, and then glanced suspiciously from side to side as if someone might be eavesdropping on them. She waited for him to continue, and she knew he would. She could almost guess exactly what she knew he'd say. He was just that predicable.

"I think I'm going to need a bit more convincing." He told her with a serious look that almost made her laugh at him. "And I think you know exactly how you convince me – or rather, who would be perfect for that job if you know what I mean."

As he finished speaking, Christian winked at her, as if for additional effect. No wonder even Torrie didn't find anything the least bit charming about him. It was just too bad he found Torrie the exact opposite. Lita wondered if he actually thought she bought all this. He was speaking so seriously, as if he was the one in control of the conversation. Biting her lip, Lita made herself nod and look compliant just like Torrie did whenever she agreed with someone.

Hmm, Lita paused as the thought crossed her mind.

It sure would make the conversation go a lot quicker, and it would totally cut out some of the leg work she would have otherwise had to do. But . . . to do that would be like kicking a kitten. A poor defenseless kitten. However as the egotistically bastard himself gifted the world with yet another one of his remarkably insightful comments, and of course, a matching hand gesture to go with it, Lita felt her normally watertight ethics weaken. Although she was sure her friend would kill her, Lita knew exactly how to get Christian to agree to team up with Jeff.

Smiling widely, she looked up at him, and meaningfully said, "Well, if you and Jeff win tonight we'll have to go out celebrating, and who knows what could happen."

He rolled his eyes at her, and made hand gesturers telling her to shut up, "Don't flatter yourself Doll, that's not what I'm talking about, listen to me for a sec."

Was he that stupid?

Looking at the irritated look on his face, Lita decided that yes, yes he was that stupid. But she shouldn't have really been so surprised, after all, she wasn't the only one that was aware that apart from knowing how to unclasp every sort of bra a woman could wear, Christian wasn't renowned for being quick on the uptake. She also decided to simple things down, and to use small words so he got the message.

"No, you listen Christian." She gave him a hard look when he opened his mouth to interrupt her, then she continued when she was satisfied he wouldn't speak, "When we go out tonight it's quite probable that I'll leave my purse unattended. It wouldn't be my fault at all if somehow my mobile, with the phone numbers of my friends on it just happened to be left laying out in the open for anyone to see it."

She just hoped that was simple enough for him to understand.

Silence.

You could have heard the sound of a pin dropping.

She tried once more, with a slightly pained saccharine smile, "Anyone could see my mobile, including you, Christian, and the list of my friends phone numbers includes all of my friends, every single one of them."

"All of your friends?" he questioned with crinkled eyes, "Including-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand, "You'll just have to wait and see."

He furrowed his brow still looking for further clarification, "So I get Tor-"

"Shh!" Lita hissed, "Don't be stupid."

"I'm not stupid," he sulked unhappily.

Lita paused to take a deep breath. It was best not to insult him, especially with what she had to ask now. If she was to get him to make her a promise it had to be made with him not huffy and without any irritation on her part. If she wasn't careful then Christian would go gossiping and Jeff did not need that especially with all the trouble he'd been in lately.

"I know you're not stupid Christian. How could someone like you be stupid?" she stated softly, and he seemed to calm down, "I just need someone to help keep an eye on Jeff and who else can I count on but you? Torrie always said you were so insightful and that's why I need your help."

"Torrie said that?"

"Yeah. She did, and if you and Jeff win the match tonight-"

"You'll give me Torrie's phone number?" Christian asked, not completely clear on the deal that was being brokered.

Lita nodded, deciding to keep it dirt simple; Christian didn't seem to be able to read between the lines.

"So all I have to do is win tonight and then keep one eye on Skittles from now on?"

Lita nodded again; she wondered how much longer this would take, because it was taking a lot more out of her than she'd expected. No wonder Torrie was so exacerbated by the guy. Lita almost shuddered at what it must be like for the pretty blonde to be the focus of all his attention all the time he was around her. Poor thing.

Lita made herself smile brightly, "Exactly Christian."

He nodded. He understood. Stalking off with his head held high, Lita heard him yell out various greetings and taunts. Any day now she could just see him getting a right royal pounding for all of his imbecile like behavior. But hopefully that wouldn't happen until after he'd assisted with getting Jeff back onto a winning streak. She knew Christian would help add more wins than losses to Jeff's scorecard, because the blonde hated losing more than anything, and because he wasn't one to let an advantage like having Jeff on his side go to waste.

"What'd you do that for?"

Lita jumped at Jeff's voice.

She hadn't noticed him.

Her heart was pounding so loud she was almost certain Jeff could hear it. She had known her 'methods' she used to convince Christian would eventually get back to Jeff, but she hadn't planned on him finding out first hand, and she knew by the look on his face that he had overheard most of her conversation with the cocky blonde. Feigning confidence, she glanced at him with a look she copied from Stephanie on her face.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she archly stated, "Christian's a perfect tag team partner for you."

"In what universe?" he castigated sharply, "Cause I sure as hell don't see us as perfect tag team partners. But thanks to you, I'm stuck with that condescending bastard."

"I was doing you a favor." She sniffed reproachfully.

"I don't need anyone to do me any favors." He told her in a quiet voice.

Disdainfully, she looked at him, "I rather think you do."

He grimaced, and a disapproving look flashed across his face. She knew he hated people organizing his life for him. She'd seen how he reacted numerous times with WWE management telling him what to do, and she's also seen what had happened when people closed to him had done the same thing. Neither party was spared from Jeff's often unpredictable response.

Tensing a little, she waited for him to snap.

But he didn't, instead he shrugged apologetically, "I know you're doing what you think is best for me, and I appreciate that."

Blinking, she stared at him confused.

"Jeff?"

He patted her arm, "Just give me a bit of warning next time."

She blinked.

He grinned, and playfully punched her shoulder, "Come on, I'll shout you something to eat before I have my match."

She was confused.

Wasn't that meant to work?

* * *

I hope you enjoyed the thrid chapter and the first tactic unleashed by Lita on Jeff.

* * *


	4. Drive off tactic two

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp 4: Drive off tactic two **

* * *

The outing was meant to cheer Lita up.

Walking down another busy street she didn't know the name of, in a town that Torrie had also forgotten the name of, she glanced over at her best friend. Biting her lip, Lita was deep in thought. She'd been like this on and off for the last few weeks. Not even winter sales had cheered her up, and winter sales always cheered Lita up . . . actually, they mostly cheered Torrie up, because who could be sad when one could buy a sapphire blue coat that was exactly the right size, style, designer, and price tag? Well . . . it seemed like Lita could, because despite that very coat that was residing in her shopping bag, she was thoroughly miserable.

"I can return it," Torrie told her in a small voice, "I mean, I know we said that we won't wear it at the same time, but if you don't think that'll work I can take it back. After all, you found it first."

Breaking out of her thoughts, Lita looked confused, and then her eyes glanced down at the matching bags in her and Torrie's hands, which held two identical sapphire coats. It had been Torrie's idea to get one each. Lita hated lending her things, and Torrie always wanted a twin so it had seemed to make sense at the time. With a worried look, Torrie held the shopping bag closer to her. She didn't think that Lita had figured out her plan of 'accidental' coordination just yet – it was just she'd always wanted a twin, and Lita was the closest thing to one that Torrie had ever come across.

"No it's not that,"

Reassured, Torrie loosened her grip on the shopping bag. Satisfied that her pretty new coat was safe, she was content, but then the same pensive look returned to Lita's face. Her wide hazel eyes became cloudy, and her face paled. Patting Chloe, the tiny white dog in her custom made carry bag, Torrie tried to think of what to do.

"Are you alright Li?" Torrie finally asked in a delicate tone, not wanting to offend the other woman.

"I guess."

At Lita's half hearted response, Torrie frowned. She didn't like seeing Lita upset, but unfortunately, that's all Lita seemed to be; either that or so deep in thought that not even the purchase of a pretty new coat could break her out of it for very long. Glancing at the redhead, Torrie watched her nervously fiddle with her sunglasses as she walked.

"Is something wrong? Because you could tell me if you want . . ." Torrie trailed of awkwardly; blushing a little, "I mean, I'm not Dawn or anything, but I'm, like, here for you."

Lita's wide hazel eyes widened, and Torrie blushed a little more. She wasn't used to this part of the friendship. Dawn was the better person for this. She'd been comforting Lita for years and years, since the ECW days when they first meet. Dawn had also been getting Lita to articulate herself since ECW days, a feat that only one other person had achieved.

A light bulb in Torrie's mind lit up.

"Uhm, how's the bet thingy going?" she asked awkwardly.

Lita opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it.

Taking a breath, Lita tried again, "I'm not sure,"

"You're not sure?" Torrie repeated in the same hesitant tone. "I don't understand."

Lita smiled a little, "Nor do I."

Torrie didn't feel so awkward then. Lita could be so confusing at times, but she was always kind. She had never been anything but. Perhaps that was why Torrie felt so bad each time Lita got her heart broken. When they had first meet, Torrie hadn't understood the high flyer at her. To Torrie, all she saw in her future best friend was some aloof girl with a death wish. But it didn't take long to realise that underneath all of that was someone who was more loyal, and more intuitive than anyone Torrie has ever meet.

Yet despite that, Lita acted as though she expected each and every break up; and that they were her fault.

Torrie wished she knew how to help.

But she didn't.

Stephanie was right about that.

Lita spoke again, "I've been practically managing Jeff for weeks now, telling him what to do, and getting Christian to report back to me on Jeff's every move."

"Isn't that part of the bet?"

"Yes, but Jeff hasn't gotten irritated at all! He's been acting like I'm looking out for his best interests."

He'd been so cheerful and bright. He'd even asked for her opinion on different occasion. Jeff never asked for anyone else's opinion. Lita found herself to be clueless around him. Instead of blowing her off, he was calling her after each and every match to give her a play by play recount of the action. Instead of laughing at her suggestions he was actually taking them serious, even the ones she herself found totally bogus. Just the pervious week, on her two days off, the two of them had spent hours upon hours going over recordings of his opponent's history of matches writing detailed profiles on them.

Not even Matt put up with that, and he was always working to get to the top.

Torrie didn't know any of this, but with crinkled eyes as she tried to make sense of it anyway, "But isn't that what you've been doing? Looking out for his best interests? I though that was why you've been so concerned about him lately."

"Yeah, but he used to hate it when anyone kept tabs on him, especially when they told him what to do, and I've been doing nothing but that. I've even got Christian telling Jeff what to do, and still nothings happened at all." Lita explained wearily.

Torrie narrowed as she thought over the past few weeks, "I won't say nothing, come on, Jeff's been winning heaps and heaps of matches, and so has-" she wrinkled her nose, "Christian"

Not picking up on Lita's guilty and not to mention nervous smile, Torrie hailed a taxi – or tried to, most ignored her.

"Did you know Christian's been calling me? Every day! He leaves messages on my phone telling me to call him, and when I do answer my mobile he spends a quarter of an hour discussing his match results and then spends another quarter of an hour talking about the weather with the occasional mentioning of what he was wearing in his matches, and although he does look delicious in tangerine I don't really want to spend all that time discussing the subject with him."

Lita nodded in agreement, "I totally understand."

Once again, Torrie seemed to miss Lita's expression of guilt.

Perhaps it was because she was waving her arms about trying to catch a cab.

Yet again she failed.

"How are you and Shawn going?"

The two had begun dating about three weeks previously. Torrie had been blissfully happy since the moment he'd asked her out. Though with the many, many phone calls from Christian the amount of time she would have normally spent gushing over Shawn was replaced by a seemingly never ending stream of complaints about the blonde Canadian.

Torrie shrugged noncommittally, "Oh, didn't I tell you. Shawn and I decided to give the whole thing a rest."

She shrugged again, and ignoring the taxi she had finally managed to hail, she ducked into another up scale boutique. Pointing out the dress in the window she liked, Torrie browsed through the racks waiting for the over excited sales girl to return with the dress in her size. Inspiration filled her eyes suddenly, and without warning Lita found herself with a coat hanger around her neck attached to a purple chiffon dress that Torrie either thought would suit herself, or Lita. It was hard to tell when Torrie got into one of her moods.

Seemingly absent minded but with a touch of denial in her voice, Torrie spoke on, "It's not big deal, it wasn't even like I liked Shawn heaps. I mean, he didn't even speak French!"

"Why should he speak French?" Lita asked confused, and in pain as she tried to unshackle the knotted coat hanger from her thick red hair.

Oblivious to the battle her friend was having with the clothes hanger, Torrie seemed appalled by the comment, "Everyone should speak French. It's an international language Li."

"So Spanish." Lita claimed rightfully.

Torrie sniffed at the comparison, "Spanish? What good is Spanish? Come on, now a day you only need to know a couple of words to stop the Mexicool's from sniffing up your skirt. But French is the new language of democracy and unity. You know, Christian and I had a long talk about this, and he fully agrees with me."

"But he lives in Florida, what does he need French for?" Lita asked in an incredulous voice, then she frowned and took a step closer to Torrie so she could hear Lita's hushed whispers, "Did he give you that bullshit rant about Canada and Anglophone-Francophone relations too?"

"Don't swear Li!" Torrie ordered smartly as she turned on her heel to try on the clothes now piled over her arm, "Besides, I happen to believe in Christian's views on Canada and Anglophone-Francophone relations. He can be quite insightful if you take the time to listen to him."

Lita narrowed her eyes suspiciously as Torrie whipped shut the curtain to her change room, "I thought you two only spoke about weather and how good he looked in the colour tangerine."

Only the shuffle of fabric and zippers could be heard from outside the change room. Tapping her shoe, Lita waited for the pretty blonde to reappear. When she did, it was in a flamboyant coral dress that fanned out around her shoulders. Swatting her pale hair over her shoulder Torrie looked quite regal for a moment, especially when one of the little sales girls rushed up to her to ask if she needed anything. Torrie had always loved people scurrying around fawning over her, and Lita was quite sure the added attention only helped to make her day after buying the sapphire coat that the blonde claimed 'totally matched' her eyes.

"You know, about the next tactic, I think you need to be more . . . subtle."

Subtle . . .

Subtle?

To hear this from a woman that now was wearing what looked like a tiara in her hair astounded Lita.

Staring intently in the mirror, Torrie pursed her lips as she examined said tiara, "Do you think this suits me? Hey, maybe I could use it in the ring. Imagine me head butting Trish with this thing."

With the spiked peaks of rhinestones and pearls adorning the extravagant tiara Lita gulped at the thought of it impaling Trish. Actually, on second though Lita was rather glad Torrie hadn't suggested trying it out on her instead. Although Torrie was less than talented in the ring, she more than made up for it with her gift for 'using' what was laying around to her distinct advantage. Lita had more than enough experience with that side of the blonde. But luckily now they were firmly friends, in her come back match from her knee injury Lita was pretty sure she wouldn't have to worry about having a tiara piercing her aorta thanks to Torrie.

Throwing the tiara onto Lita's lap, Torrie prancing into the change room eyeing off another outfit as she spoke, "Anyway, as I was saying, you should be subtle around Jeff."

Crossing her legs Lita relaxed on the couch she was sitting on. That was the best thing about shopping with Torrie; all the shops she liked were fitted out with wicked seating areas for friends lacking the stamina to keep up with such a well seasoned shopper as her. Curiously, Lita waited for Torrie to reappear. Subtle? How could a woman who presented her last serious boyfriend a homemade seashell necklace on their six month anniversary know anything about being subtle? If the others were there Lita was sure Dawn (but more probably Stephanie) would say something quite rude about Torrie's suggestion.

Perhaps that was the reason Lita was the only one Torrie invited out.

With that thought on her mind, Lita waited patiently for Torrie.

Finally she reappeared, this time in bronze, "You know, I was thinking about you two last night. I think you're going about this in the wrong way. Like, how are you going to drive Jeff off when all you do is order him around?"

Lita shifted in her set, painfully awkward. She didn't like to think about driving Jeff off. The bet might be in full swing, but every now and then she was consumed with guilt. However . . . she couldn't help being intrigued by the blonde woman train of thought. Up to that point it had been Stephanie controlling the bet, suggesting the first tactic and generally driving the whole 'demonstration' along. But Torrie's suggestion peaked Lita's interest as her mind rapidly flashed back to her past relationships.

Little things eventually snowballed into huge things.

Concern spiraled into something unacceptable. If it wasn't that, then she was too distant, too private, too cold, or she could be volatile. And she always took it out on the current boyfriend. She'd forget that the small things. Like how Matt liked to have dinner ready when he got home. Or how Edge . . . how Edge . . . Lita bit her lip. His huge blue eyes haunted her. Still making her feel like a five year old who wanted to hide behind her mothers legs.

Twirling in front of the mirror, Torrie looked quite satisfied with her reflection when she spoke again, "I think you need to work on the small details. Because it's the small things that count."

Twisting her fingers together, Lita shrugged awkwardly, her large eyes lowering in regret. The blonde was right. The small things were the ones that counted, and Lita winced as she recalled how quickly they had stockpiled in each and every relationship she'd had with the different men that had been in her life. Each single time she just kept repeating the same mistakes, stepping on the same toes, and forgetting the same details that all lead her to the same conclusion in every relationship; her dumped and him moving on to another woman who didn't perpetually live with her foot crammed down her throat.

Torrie twirled again, the dress flaring up around her legs in a blur of glittery bronze.

She stopped suddenly, and twisted her hands nervously, "It's the small details we lose sight of, but they're the ones that matter the most you know?"

Lita bit her lip, nodding a little.

She suddenly understood Torrie with excruciating clarity.

In a flash, the atmosphere had changed, and Torrie was brighter than ever when she spoke again, "So, like, call him up heaps, tell him everything that happened during your day in length, bring him stuff to wear, and like totally take up all of his time. Just do everything you ranted about that night when you got drunk. That's the best tactic I think."

"I guess I can do that." Lita admitted, "After all, it's not like it'll hurt him or anything."

"It'll just annoy him to bits," Torrie confirmed, "And that's how you really drive guys away, because how long could they stand being totally irritated by someone they're dating?"

"We're not dating!"

Surprise flashed through Torrie's eyes, but she had the grace to cover it just as quickly as the redhead had rushed her response. Lita crossed her arms defensively, and refused to meet Torrie's suspicious stare. The two didn't speak for a minute, but eventually, as always, Torrie grew tired of putting up with the silent treatment.

"It wouldn't hurt to try and charm him a little. After all, it wouldn't be the first time you two-"

"Torrie! Shush!" Lita cried her voice strangled and nervy. "You promised never to speak of 'that' again!"

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Calm down Li, there's no one else here to eavesdrop."

"That's not the point." Lita hissed, her eyes darting around the boutique as if someone was hiding amidst the sea of clothes just waiting to pounce. "Besides, 'that' was a long time ago, before Jeff and I became friends, and you promised not to tell anyone ever."

"And I haven't." Torrie condoled in a gentle voice, "I wasn't even suggesting that you two were dating, I was just saying that the small annoying things are what break couples up. Look at me; Jericho said I gossiped too much, John said I was shallow for watching Bold and the Beautiful everyday, Billy said I was vain because I made him dress in colour coordinated outfits whenever we when out, and Rob said I shopped too much and that I cared more about the annual Collette Dinnigan sale than I did about him,"

"None of that's true."

Torrie wrinkled her nose, "How can you say that Lita! Don't you remember that glorious beaded tulle halter dress you bought? It was simply stunning. Not to mention the shoestring rose top I bought. I'd much rather have that than Mr. Monday night."

She spun once more in the bronze dress. Her previous angst forgotten as the layers of metallic fabric floated up around her knees. Lita could tell the blonde liked it. Torrie always like things that made her stand out in a crowd, and with her pale blonde tresses, wide cornflower blue coloured eyes she looked more the 'simply stunning' in the pretty bronze dress. Lita could tell that Torrie felt the same way. After all the blonde wasn't known for being modest about matters like that.

"I think you should try being subtle. Not so blunt. Build up it slowly." Torrie told Lita finally, this time without any hints of pervious feelings of awkwardness.

Without waiting for an answer she pranced back into the change room.

She only paused to ask one of the sales girls if the dress came in gold.

Because, everyone knows the saying; beautiful gold, sociable silver and shameful bronze.

And, Torrie never accepted third place willingly . . . or subtly.

* * *

After a short consultation with Stephanie, being subtle became tactic number two.

Of course, Stephanie was slightly less convinced this would work any better than the first tactic that she had chosen, but that was to be expected. She'd never been subtle in her life. The only time her behavior came close to subtle was when she was planning something. Even then, her actions could be described more aptly as 'cunning' or 'sly'. Yet, she was willing to watch and learn.

Anything for entertainments sake; the show would defiantly go on.

Once Lita had figured the tactic out.

Subtle?

It would have been a whole lot easier to be subtle if it wasn't Jeff that Lita had to be 'subtle' around. She just didn't quite know how to approach Jeff in that manner. So instead of thinking up anything original, she followed Torrie's lead, and consciously started to make the same mistake that she always ended up berating herself over once the relationship when belly up. Because the blonde did have a point, the small things did add up. It was the small things that were the deciding factors really.

As Torrie told Lita on the taxi ride back to the hotel, 'People always focus on the big picture, forgetting the fact that it's always made up of millions of little ones.'

Lita couldn't help but agree with the blonde.

So she started by calling him at least fifteen times a day.

She wasted his time with anything from asking him for help with the morning crossword to make him listen to her whining about how one of the new guys was always laughing at her. But she didn't stop herself there. On the contrary, she instigated long heated political and ethical debates, pointedly questioning and rudely challenging his believe systems and morals.

She was rude.

Pointedly so.

She questioned everything. All his beliefs, all his automatic ways of life, everything she could. Question after question; a never ending cycle of queries. Her father had hated her questions. He'd seen it at best and annoyance, at worst, an attempt to subvert his authority. Although the only quality Jeff shared with her father was his fondness for post offices, Lita figured it was a good tactic.

After all, no one liked being questioned all the time.

And she thought it would work. Because, just how many guys could stand to deal with her crap fifteen phone calls a day? She really did think it would work. She really, really did. High hopes had filled in the first few days after employing the tactic, and even Stephanie had been convinced that it might work. Even Stephanie! The woman who'd never even tried to be subtle, not even when she was five years old and she caught her father screwing the au pair on the dinning table while Linda was away on business. Back then, she merely looked at her father and told him Cindy the au pair's yelping was stopping Shane and herself from getting any sleep. Then, of course, she asked for a pony (which she of course, had to look surprised in receiving on her sixth birthday).

But then Jeff started calling Lita up at least twenty times a day to speak to her.

So instead of annoying him, all she heard about was how he ripped his favorite pair of wrestling tights, and how he didn't trust GPS systems or the senators of California. He even started calling her first thing in the morning so they could do the morning crossword together over the phone. Then when she started to tell him every detail that had occurred during her day, he decided to do the same. Each night she was given an hour in depth report of his daily occurrences, from his matches (which she'd already watched), to the mundane happening like when he broke his last set of curly shoe laces and what he had for lunch.

"I was thinking we should wear green today, and maybe some blue."

That was the start of her first phone call of the day.

It had gotten to the point where he no longer greeted her. After all, who else but him would call her at seven in the morning to have a discussion about clothing? Over the phone line she could hear the squeaking of bed springs, and instinctually she could tell that although she was awake and getting ready for work, he was still in bed relaxing.

She voiced this to him, whining.

He didn't seem to notice the tone.

He only invited her over, and told her to ring up the Ice Bitch and tell her that she was sick.

Lita told him not to call Stephanie names.

He started to chortle in amusement.

So she hung up on him.

Within half an hour he had called her back, this time only to gain conformation that they were dressing in green. He didn't believe her when she said they were, so he made her hand him off to Torrie so he could get a second unbiased conformation. He then spent twenty minutes talking to Torrie, inviting her down to TNA, and generally relaying conversations between her and Christian. When that got tiring, he handed his phone to Christian, and the two blondes chatted importantly for an hour. Torrie of course, was still denying any appreciation of anything other than Christian's views of Canadian and Anglophone-Francophone relations.

'Liar,' Lita grumbled internally as she heard Torrie giggle flirtatiously at something Christian said.

Torrie was visibly enamored with more than just the Canadian's tangerine wrestling tights. It was causing some concern within the ranks, particularly for Dawn how didn't like the idea of the blind being lead by the blind. It was just Torrie was always talking too him, and about him. Not one conversation passed without some reference to Christian, and of course, his many social and political views concerning his homeland. Torrie had even started learning French. Apparently Christian was a wonderful teacher. Very patient indeed. Lita rolled her eye as Torrie started to recite verbs in that happy voice of hers.

The French lesson continued for another quarter of an hour.

Many giggles and 'serious' questions followed.

"Anyway Christian, tell Jeff that Li isn't wearing green, she's wearing pink." Torrie brightly reported at the conclusion of the tutorial session, "With skull and crossbones hair clips."

Lita scowled. In an utterly clever move on her part, she had decided to make him dress in coordinating outfits every time they when out together. It was meant to be her brilliant move of insight into the male mind. In her experience all guys hated being told how to dress, especially when she implied that the reason she was dressing them was because they couldn't dress themselves.

For double effect, she did both.

Telling him what to wear, and why exactly she had to tell him to wear a certain outfit of her choice instead of the one he chose himself.

Yet he only seemed to get excited. Like a child playing dress ups, and after the first time she dressed him, he'd started calling her up each morning so they could coordinate every single day, even though they weren't going to see each other face to face most of the time. It became like a game to him, and soon the tables turned, and he was freely telling her what to wear instead of vice versa.

Torrie seemed to smile widely at whatever Christian was saying, before she turned to her friend with a pleasant look on her face, "Jeff said he'll wear that top you gave him with the skulls and crossbones on it, but if you two are dressing up as pirates today you'll need to those pink fishnet stockings to make it work."

Grrrr.

It had been over three weeks since either of them had worn anything that wasn't colour, or theme coordinated. Lita couldn't even remember the last time she had looked into her wardrobe without Jeff's highly animated suggestions behind each clothing choice for the day.

"Oh, and Jeff said to remind you that real pirates didn't wear sneakers, so you should swap them for some toe crunching boots like the ones he found when he helped you unpack." Torrie added helpfully, with a bright happy smile on her face.

That 'he found' being the key words in that sentence.

She had invited him over to her new house to make him help unpack everything. Everything. Every box, every bag, everything. But he hadn't even seemed the slightest affronted by it. Even after she'd forced him into being her pack pony, lugging boxes into and around her house without a single word of thanks. Through it all he didn't seem to mind a thing. Blissfully content the whole time.

In fact, he took it as an open invitation to take charge.

Any given day of the week, he'd turn up unannounced and spend all day arranging her very limited amount of furniture and belongings in the strangest ways possible. Although she was certain that to Jeff, it was perfectly logical to place everything in the eccentric manner that he did. It was just, in result of his unique organization system; she was forever calling him over to her house, needing him to find things for her. When he did come over however, he instantly found what she had spent al morning searching for and did so with a look on his face that said she ought to have thought of this and where everything else was kept.

Grabbing her mobile out of Torrie's peach painted nails, Lita wrinkled her nose, "I don't know where they are."

Christian let out a very girlish squawk at the redheads voice, "Lita! Give the mobile back to Torrie! Now!"

"No. I want to speak to Jeff."

"But I wanta speak to Torrie, come on, please Doll-"

Whatever Christian had attempted to whine, was cut off, as Jeff rescued his mobile from Christian's Canadian clutches. But over the phone line, Lita could clearly hear the two men scuffling over the mobile. The sounds of Christian yelping and Jeff whimpering were clear as day, and so were their rather pitiful insults.

"Don't bit me man, I might get rabies!" Jeff yapped in a strangled voice.

"I won't if you give me my mobile back! - You, you dork face, if you broke my toe I'll, I'll -"

"What? Sue me? You don't have the mango's Blondie! Besides it's my mobile, not your-" Whatever Jeff was going to say was cut off, as his voice rose in panic.

"I told you not to push me." Christian shrieked.

"Don't push me, push a push pop!" Jeff exclaim in a slightly higher than normal voice.

More scuffled, and then quiet.

"Sorry about that Bella Lita," Jeff told her, "_Someone_ was being unreasonable."

Pausing, Lita bit her lip before replying, "Don't worry about it,"

In the background, the voice of Christian threatening filled the air, "I'll get you back someday, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow–" until, "Hey, is that Jackie Gayda? Shit, that girl's filled out since I last saw her!"

Lita cringed, and Jeff snickered but he didn't waste any time at all with explanations, "Doll, I put your boots in your room, on the bottom shelf of your bookcase."

Just for reference sake, ever since he and Christian had started hanging out again, Jeff had started to call her 'Doll' too.

However, luckily he hadn't started calling her 'Pussy Cat' so she put up with it.

Lita knew it was stupid, but she had to ask, "Why did you put them there?"

She could see Jeff rolling his eyes at her right at that very moment.

But he responded patiently like she knew he would, "I thought I told you. Last time I was at your house I organized it all alphabetically."

Lita blinked.

"Uhm, thanks . . . I think . . ." she managed to respond.

"That's okay. Now you'll never be able to loss anything. You'll always know where to find everything . . . except your jewelry."

Lita narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

Jeff didn't seem to notice the slightly chilly air that had filled the silence.

Responding joyously, as though it was the most obvious thing in the would, he told her, "I put your pearls and gem stones in the freezer behind the peas, and I put your mothers ugly stuff you never wear in zip lock bags in the toilet. Isn't it brilliant? I read about it in O magazine. Oprah said that burglars never look there. That way no one can steal you stuff. "

She reminded herself to breath.

Merrily, he started humming another song he had just finished writing. Lita blinked. Continuing, Jeff started humming the chorus to another one of his songs. Just slightly, she could over heard Christian 'complimenting' Jackie on her halter top. Meanwhile behind Lita, Torrie was blissfully filing her nails while she practiced her French verbs. All was normal . . . she just needed to get used to finding her jewelry in the freezer behind the frozen peas.

"Oprah said that?" Lita questioned slowly.

"Oprah is a fine role model for women, and you should look up to her, Lita." Jeff told her in a slightly patronized voice, as if he could tell she was just about to rib him about it.

To be told that she should be idolizing Oprah by a guy wearing a gold caps on his teeth didn't please Lita too greatly as one could imagine.

Lita really didn't know what to say in response.

"Oh . . ."

She had to remind herself then, that it was her idea to make him watch crappy TV show every day.

Which he had to do while talking to her over the phone since they were in different states.

He'd always hated that . . . or so she had previously though.

Suddenly it seemed he'd developed a love for all things soap opera like overnight. He knew as many plot lines and back stories as Torrie did, and more than once, knew more than the blonde. Truly. That, along with many other randomly lost belongs had been intended to increase 'time wasting' with him. But somehow, in the course of their joint phone call over 'Lost', he mirrored her behavior and instead of her asking the questions, it was him. Everything and anything was covered as they watched TV each night, and after a while Lita began to switch the TV off, and focus completely on him. Nothing was left uncovered, and Lita couldn't remember the last time she had told him so much . . . well, so much about her life.

Nothing seemed to drive him off.

Not tales of palm readings with Torrie, or blank Christmas cards sent in July from Lita's mother.

"Anyway, just to confirm; we're dressing as pirates today, right?"

"I don't know . . ."

He then snorted loudly, and in an utterly endearing voice he stated, "Come on Li, you'll look stunning as my first mate."

That was the thing about Jeff. Ever since they had started coordinating he had, unlike his brother Matt, thought she looked absolutely gorgeous in everything she wore, especially in the clothes she felt awkward wearing in front of Trish and all her pink ribbon laced corsets. Somehow, just somehow, Lita always ended up believing him. He was just so earnest and charming and when it came down to it, Lita knew without a single doubt that she was firmly wrapped around his little finger.

How else would she end up leaving the house looking like his matching pair if she didn't?

Giving up, she let a smile break out across her face. Running a hand through her long hair, she couldn't help giving in to him. Besides, yesterday when he persuaded her in a mod themed day, he'd been so delightfully happy. In fact, he'd been so happy that when she agreed to go to work dressed as Twiggy, she couldn't help not feeling quite so horrid as usual when Edge stopped to speak to her in the afternoon; and despite all the fuss, Lita knew she really didn't mind at all that Jeff had her dancing to his tune, and she knew he knew that too.

"Who said you get to be the captain? I want to be the captain, you can be my first mate," she teased him in a small pouting voice.

He just laughed rebelliously at her (not with her).

This made her sulk, and so she did something which would make Stephanie proud.

In a bright voice, she told him, "Jeffy, can you come by my house this week?"

"Yeah . . ." he answered, but not without a health dose of suspicion.

"Well, I've decided that I want to face the window when I wake up, so I need you to come and move my bed for me."

She could hear him sigh.

This made Lita smile.

It also would have made Stephanie smile but for a different reason.

The brunette was in fine spirits lately. With Jeff getting order around like a puppy getting toilet trained, Torrie getting harassed by Christian, and her ex husband still getting over the humiliation of losing to Ric Flair; all was good in her world. It was slightly scary to see the youngest McMahon so pleased. Torrie was defiantly not used to it, and therefore, most of her time was spent avoiding the other woman, so much so that it was becoming like finding Wally when it came to spotting Torrie during a WWE Raw event.

Jeff's mopping voice however once again filled Lita's attention as he spoke again.

"But Li, I helped you move it three days ago when you said the morning light woke you up too early."

Lita knitted her brow; he was right but he couldn't know that

Scrambling for an answer, she told him, "Well, I'm allowed to be a perfectionist, I've changed my mind."

"Like you changed your mind about what colour you wanted to paint your house?"

Lita wrinkled her nose; she was confused, "I wasn't going to paint it . . ."

Over the line, she could hear Jeff laugh nervously.

This in turn made her suspicious.

"Jeff, what's going on?"

He tittered uneasily again, "Oh, look at the time, I have to go! Here Christian, you can have the phone!"

"Wait-" Lita cried, but Jeff had already made his slightly not so grand escape, leaving the one and only Captain Charisma on the line.

"Lita I want to speak to Torrie." He ostentatiously told her, "I said I'd keep help her learn French."

"Where's Jeff?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I want to speak to Torrie now!" Christian whined arrogantly, "Don't be so selfish."

"I'm not being selfish Christian-"

But the moment Lita said his name, her mobile was once again snatched out of her hands.

With one quick motion that Lita didn't even see coming, Torrie spirited the mobile away. Pompously she then looked at Lita without words, telling her friend that it was time for her private French lesson. Lita's jaw dropped open. Apologetically, Torrie relented a little, but any forgiveness Lita might have felt was cancelled out as the pretty blonde held out her car keys.

"Just a second Christian," she paused, staring meaningfully at the redhead, "Don't you have to go and change your shoes Lita?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Lita spun on her heel and stomped away.

Behind her, Torrie called out, "Christian said to tell you, that Jeff can't be the captain, because there's only one captain, and it's him, Captain Charisma."

Lita ignored her.

That had not gone like she had planned it to.

Damn Jeff for skipping off on her.

She'd show him; there was no way she was going to go swap her sneakers for boots of his choosing.

Nope, no way.

The righteous feeling lasted the whole of the day. It was only when she got home in the late hours of the night it failed her. It seemed that while she'd been away over the past few days, Jeff have dropped by without her knowledge.

Walking into her new house she didn't know what to say.

The walls were covered by his paintings. Large abstract works of art were filled with something that reminded her so sharply of his smile and the spark in his eyes that Lita couldn't find words to describe what she felt. Surrounded by his pieces of art, Lita all of a sudden didn't as feel so cold or so alone as she normally did when she came back to the house she was forced to buy after being kicked out of the home she had shared with Matt.

Only Jeff could do something like this.

Lita was beginning to think being subtle didn't quite work with Jeff.

Somehow the tactic had failed, and Lita was left totally confused. None of the guys she knew allowed themselves to be treated like this and then in response give her something so beautiful and so precious. They needed 'space' and 'time' and all those other lines. Lines that Lita had heard many, many times before. Lines that she hadn't heard once from Jeff, not even when she called him stranded at four in the morning and asked him to come pick her up. Not even a five hour drive to come and get her had pissed him off.

All in all, Lita was at a loss.

This wasn't meant to be happening.

What was wrong with Jeff?

* * *

R&R

* * *


	5. Drive off tactic three

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp5: Drive off tactic three. **

* * *

The rather prominent sound of 'Diamonds are forever' her mobile phone emitted made Lita jump. 

Sitting in another café, her two friends and the waiter finished taking their orders looked at the redhead as she tapped her nails nervously on the oak table. Stephanie raised a brow at her, and gestured to the now multi colour mobile, that was blinking its lights increasingly brighter each moment it was left unanswered. Meanwhile, Torrie was pulling at her now pin straight hair and smiling anxiously as she pretended nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

Copying Torrie's smile, Lita rapidly shook her head at the brunette, "Uh, no, not really."

"Why may I ask is that?" Stephanie coolly questioned as the mobile began to vibrate in rainbow colored circles.

"Well . . ." Lita paused, then glanced over at the waiter, "I wanted to order dessert."

"We already have." Stephanie informed her friend, narrowing her eyes as she tried to catch the number flashing on the mobile screen. "You should get that, it could be someone important."

"No, it's nothing."

"If it's nothing-"

But before Stephanie could finish her sentence with one of her oh so darling insults, Torrie had interrupted her, "Look, they're bringing over our dessert. Don't they look pretty?"

Torrie laughed nervously at that. It was a bad move. A very bad move. Swinging her eyes sharply over to focus on Torrie, Stephanie critically examined the nervy blonde. This made Torrie even more nervous, but before anything 'unpleasant' could occur, the waiter reappeared with their dessert. Snarling at the approaching waiter, the youngest McMahan seemed to find some sort of thrill in fulfilled every requirement that having old money privileged her with.

Ohhh, wasn't she a poor little rich girl?

Wasn't she?

For some reason, France in particular brought the worst out of her. Ever since leaving her early twenties, every time she visited France, Stephanie was left feeling as though she was being cheated out of something. Not know exactly what it was, she mostly reacted in ways that only her father and perhaps her brother would find acceptable. And as they were served, Stephanie's jaw dropped at the sigh of the blonde's meal. A bouquet of orange sugar flowers wrapped in orange sherbet. A dish too utterly beautiful, and too utterly Parisian for Stephanie's less than delicate tastes.

"How did you get that?"

"She's been learning French," Lita informed her, smirking ever so slightly.

Sitting up very straight, Torrie nodded proudly at the redhead's statement, and smartly added, "I have a very patient teacher."

All of this displeased Stephanie, but she couldn't really find anything to say in response. A few seconds passed, and Torrie bit into her gorgeous orange sherbet dish while both Stephanie and Lita enviously looked on. Primly, the pretty blonde speared a delicate flower and offered it over to the redhead. The offer was not repeated to the brunette. Stephanie's mouth opened and closed, like a fish out of water, and glumly she stared down at her plain vanilla ice cream.

Tapping her silver spoon on the fine china, Stephanie finally managed to snip, "I guess we should all strive to improve ourselves, even if in some cases it may appear to be in vain,"

It was then, Lita's phone started to ring again.

Already annoyed, Stephanie was easily riled by the sound of Shirley Basset singing. A nerve in her jaw twitched, and despite the fact that this was more of a holiday than a working holiday for her, Stephanie was quickly tiring of the now incessant interruptions by not only Shirley Basset singing 'Diamonds are forever,' but the various other James Bond themes that were constantly being played on Lita's mobile.

"For god's sake Li, just answer you darn mobile."

The tone of the billion dollar princess's voice was suddenly quite forbearing.

It didn't warn Lita, but it did give Torrie the head start she usually didn't have.

"No, we're having lunch. It'd be rude."

Grabbing her mobile, Lita contained its motions, switching it on mute and slipping it into her bag by her feet. However, as she lent down Stephanie took the opportunistic chance to take advantage of the situation. If Lita had been sitting up she would have seen the sly smile on her friends face, or the look of distress on Torrie. Unfortunately, she only heard Torrie's 'eep' and as the redhead lifted her head in response to the blonde, she found herself faced with just Stephanie.

Lita looked around.

Torrie had deserted her, leaving her to fend for herself.

She had also taken the sherbet sweets with her.

Bitch.

Well, not really. When Stephanie was in one of her moods she could almost channel her father into every single word, and when this happened it was every person for themselves. So, if Torrie could get away and, if she could take her dessert with her, she might as well do that too. After all, they all knew who wore the pants in Stephanie's failed marriage and, sadly enough for Hunter, it's wasn't the same person who wore the boxers.

"So anyway, as I was saying," Stephanie stated with authority, "The demonstration is going so well,"

Actually, Lita was still unsure about that. She's been clingy, possessive, bossy and very demanding yet Jeff had almost seemed to get hot under the collar each and every time another 'tactic' was unleashed on him. He wasn't responding as he should've been. Now he was clingy, possessive, bossy, and increasingly demanding. In result of that, she hadn't spent so much time with him since they had traveled together back in the Team Xtreme days.

It was off balancing and deeply distressing because she was totally clueless around him.

At the present moment he was house sitting her house, and minding her pet dogs. All of which he was doing without being asked. Along with that, he'd programmed her mobile so whenever he called, all she heard was various James Bond themes, that he somehow managed to change daily even though they presently weren't in the same country.

He wasn't meant to be acting like he was.

What was wrong with him?

What didn't he understand about what she was doing?

Guy just didn't act like this!

Lita had done everything she could think of to annoy him, but she was coming up short, and worst yet, her friendship with him was increasingly changing into something she didn't in the least recognize. It was just he was so happy to be around her, yet each time she was around him she was twitchy, unable to stay still, unable to think clearly or act the way she should. There was something wrong with her. There had to be something wrong with her. She didn't act like this around him. It was Jeff, for god sake, and she was stumbling over words, agreeing to his every whim, and getting a stupid flutter inside herself whenever he did something as stupid as smile a stupid smile at her.

She voiced this hesitantly to Stephanie.

Being the caring friend she was, Stephanie immediately suggested a course of action.

"I think you should flirt with him. You know, just so he becomes confused too. Then you'll both be in the same boat and no one will have the advantage."

All Lita could do was blink.

"Advantage?" she finally stuttered in disbelief.

Stephanie rolled her eyes as if the redhead was being so tiresome, "You obviously don't have it at the moment. Look at you, you're a mess!"

"Am not."

"Are too. All you do is over analysis and feel guilty. It's weakening your game."

"My game?" Lita asked incredulously, "Only Hunter has a game! How can I have a game?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes again.

"It's a figure of speech. Keep up to speed. So, you need to flirt with Jeff, seduce him into a blubbery mess of hair dye, body paint, and big boy pants that he insists on wearing due to the misguided belief that they magically make him into a real man with real man super powers." She illustrated sarcastically, clicking her fingers in front of Lita's face to make sure the other woman was listening. "Don't worry, this plan is fool proof."

"No it's not!" Lita cried, saying among all things, "Jeff's seen all my seducing stuff before. It won't work on him like it did on Matt and Edge. Plus I threw up on him last year; how can he find a person that blew chunks on his shoes desirable?"

Stephanie looked deeply pained, "God, Li, is there anything you didn't let that boy see? You really don't hold up the feminine mystic too well do you?"

Lita blushed, "It wasn't like I planned for it to happen."

Stephanie laughed sarcastically, "That's the same thing Hunter said when I walked in on him getting blown by Trish."

Lita gulped.

Stephanie wrinkled her nose at the unwanted flashbacks.

But she didn't allow herself to reminisce for too long, and after a distressing moment it was back to business as usual. Lita had to admire her friend's skill at compartmentalizing. It was a talent that had served her quite well over the years. Seeing her now, perfectly present, like a picture of power, Lita found it hard to remember seeing Stephanie's tear stained face the night her divorce had been finalized. It seemed as though that night had been filed away; placed out of public sight along with all the other unpleasant events that coloured the brunettes history.

One always had to admire her though; she always bounced back with vengeance.

Like now.

"Come on Li, this is the best tactic of them all. I use it all the time. Men can't handle it. Any power they had is immediately compromised the moment they become even the slightest bit effected by a little flirtation. Don't forget, this was one of the surefire ways you told us back at the bar when you got drunk and Jeff played out his white knight fantasy. You told us all how you always drive guys away the moment they realize you like them."

"I can't remember saying that . . ."

"You did." Stephanie quipped decidedly.

Lita's memories of that night were hazy at best, and excruciating painful at worst, but she couldn't remember saying anything along those lines to her friends. However . . . it did make sense. She was hopeless at charming men. Matt had laughed at her whenever she tried, and Edge didn't even seem to notice. With that now in mind Lita found it doubtful that any use of that tactic would provide the result that Stephanie was obviously used to receiving herself.

Unfortunately while Lita was pondering this, Stephanie took the silence for consent.

"So, we agree; you start seducing boy wonderless. With Jeff's history of strikes and misses it won't been too hard to get him panting at your feet, even if you've 'thrown up' on his."

Lita gaped at the sudden and obviously practiced end to the conversation.

Stephanie smiled, and waved calling out, "Don't worry, it won't be hard. But if you are a tad nervous, just go ask for some help from Torrie and Dawn. Between those two they have more than enough experience with these matters."

"Hey! Don't say that!" Lita reprimanded.

But Stephanie ignored her, waving again when she got into her chauffer driven town car and drove off. Lita frowned childishly. The brunette didn't even ask if her friend, her very best friend in the world, if she needed a lift. Damn her and her chauffer driven town car. Who needed her? Lita looked at the receding image of the shinny car . . . actually, if she was to tell the truth, Lita might need Stephanie. But only a little bit. Thanks to Torrie's great escape and Stephanie's blow off, Lita was stuck without a lift back to the hotel.

She felt like stamping her feet.

So she did.

Then, after a period of acute embarrassment she called herself a taxi.

She'd show Stephanie one way or another.

As if Jeff would allow himself to be seduce! Ha!

She was confident that he'd laugh in her face before he'd fall under her less than stellar seducing spell.

After all, she had a long history to back her up.

* * *

When she returned to America the first thing she did was visit Jeff. 

Torrie accompanied Lita to TNA.

Not that her presence was due to Stephanie's 'kindly' advice.

No . . . Lita just needed some back up, and Stephanie had never fit that bill in situations like this. Torrie however, was perfect, or she should have been. But at that very minute she was fending off Christian, whose personal ideas of how to seduce someone fell squarely in the grope and perv area. He also had a talent for innuendo filled flirting. What a gifted young gentleman he was! And all the pretty blonde had wanted to do was thank him for his French lessons, and gloat about one upping Stephanie.

But none of this was on his agenda.

It appeared that separation indeed made his heart grow fonder. Very much fonder. Painfully so. In order to remedy this ache, the blonde Canadian saw only one course of action, and attacked it with vigor that Lita had never seen in him. It was also vigor that Torrie hadn't seen from him either . . . well, not for a couple of years at least.

"I think we should go out." He told Torrie, his eyes defiantly not meeting hers.

He didn't waste any time with greetings.

Nor did he waste time with meeting her eyes when there were other 'things' to look at.

Torrie looked at him tediously, "Why do you want to go out with me?"

He paused, probably not used to having to explain himself, especially not in this field of interest.

"Well . . . you're hot." He told her, as if that was the answer to the meaning of life.

She blinked, quite uninterested by his inane reason.

Then, after a beat her boredom faded, and she queried with a look of strange interest on her pretty face, "Why do you think I'm 'hot'?"

Lita could tell Christian was confused.

Strangely, so could Torrie, so she tried again, "You know a lot of 'hot' women; you're surrounded by them aren't you?"

A self satisfied smirk spread across his face, and he buffed his nails on his shirt, chuffing a little, "I don't like to brag but-"

She cut him off, "What I want to know is why then, if there are so many 'hot' women around you, do you want me above everyone else?"

He gapped, mouth open, but then in true fashion he recovered telling her, "Because you're hotter than all of them?"

She stepped closer to him, looking as him as if she was a scientist examining a new species, "Why do you think I'm 'hotter' than the other women that are in your life."

He looked at her blankly, "Well, firstly you've got a killer rack."

Both Lita and Torrie were stunned by that brilliant and respectfully conveyed piece of information.

Noticing the silence of the two women, Christian finally looked up Torrie's face, "You've also just broken up with that fuckwit so there's an opening I'm more than willing to fill."

"As a fuckwit?" Lita suggested, trying to hold back the grin that was threatening to show.

He rolled his eyes at her, before winking pretentiously at the blonde, "I was thinking more along the lines for something more . . ."

"More what?" Torrie prompted with a half oblivious, half curious look in her wide sky blue eyes.

With a superior look in Lita's direction, he moved close to Torrie and whispered something French in her ear. Lita could barely hear what he was saying, and couldn't understand a word of it. She doubted the Torrie understood either. For all they knew he could be serenading Torrie with the lunch menu of the day. But that didn't seem to matter, because a blissful, awe filled look spread over Torrie's pretty face. With a sinking feeling in her stomach Lita glared at Christian, but Torrie just looked up at him like a day old kitten, as if he had hung the moon.

He then chose to smirk at Torrie, under the assumption that that would endure himself to her.

Lita felt like she was about to be sick.

Wrinkling her nose, she left the pair to their blatantly insensible devices in search of Jeff. She'd rather see him than witness anymore of Christian's charms in 'action,' although Lita was betting that Torrie wouldn't say the say thing at that present moment in time. Damn Torrie and her weakness for French speaking guys. The pretty blonde had managed to be immune to Renée Dupree's charms. How Christian, the smarmier of the two gotten past the radar Lita wanted to know. Or not know, Lita realized with a wrinkled nose. She'd greatly prefer to stay ignorant of whatever whiles Christian had to offer.

Some things were best left unknown.

She found Jeff sitting in the very middle of a corridor leading to the ring. It was busy, and people were hurriedly waling around him. However with a large dog eared book in hand he looked like he didn't even notice the wrestlers and backstage staff tripping over his long spindly legs. She could vaguely hear the sounds of music from the headphones on his ears, and as she sat down next to him, he offered her one so she could listen.

"Don't worry," he told her seriously, with grave eyes, "My father taught me to clean my ears each morning."

"Too bad that was the only hygiene practice he taught you." She joked, and he pounced on her in response.

"Take that back, girly!" He cried out, as he messed up her hair, and began to mercilessly tickle her.

Letting out a shrill scream, she squirmed in his arms, but he didn't for one second ease up his grip on her, or in any way let her go. Grinning evilly, kept tickling her, and she wriggled and struggled in his arms; giggling loudly. Struggling to breathe, she gave in, and tapped out. As she did so, he let out a victory roar, holding his arms up as if he had knocked out Mike Tyson with one killer right hook.

Smirking, he nudged her proudly, "Bet you missed this while you were away."

"Nope, not even for a second." She claimed, trying to look hoity, but failing terribly.

"You're an awful liar." He told her, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek, "I know you missed me, I can tell,"

She bit her lip.

She was an awful liar; it was awful of her. She felt lower than anything at that moment because he missed her, and he was so pleased to see her. He was so pleased that she was here visiting him, yet she had only come because of a bet; only come to prove a point for Stephanie just so the brunette to give Jeff a couple of extra zeros in his waning bank balance.

Those thoughts filled her head, and she felt vile and loathsome.

In a voice that was too weak for her to stand, she grabbed his hand, "I really did miss you, you know that right?"

She could tell her desperate words shook him, and with serious green eyes he looked at her gently, "I do know that Li; I missed you too."

He then put an arm over her shoulder, holding her tight.

She knew it was meant to comfort her, but it didn't.

It couldn't because he was so kind, and she was taking advantage of him yet again.

Moving the book between them, she read it over his shoulder as they shared an earphone each from his Discman. The sounds of their favorite rock bands and singers with voices of ghosts and rivers filled her head, and she realised without any warning that she didn't remember what her life had been like before she had met him. Awfully boring and awfully lonely was the only educated guess she could make before he snapped the book shut and switched off the music.

"Christian's been going on about Torrie all week. He's such a pansy when it comes to her."

She shrugged.

He looked at her carefully, "Are you alright Bella Lita?"

She tried to think of something to say, but all that she could say was four words that made her smile, "Usted es como el aligeramiento."

They were four words she had never planned on tell him for a second time.

He looked at her wide bright eyes and as he did, a soft sweet smile spread on his face, "What does that mean?"

His voice was quiet, and so was hers when she finally managed to strength to answer him, "You are like lightening."

"Ohh . . ."

Blaring theme music echoed throughout the building, and the first match stared. The audience in the stand jeered and cheered loudly, and the hallway echoed with the sounds of hundreds of people. He was looking at her so intently, so closely that she couldn't really think. She could even remember what she was doing, or why she had told him the four words she had promised herself never to tell him ever again. She didn't remember how to seduce men. She'd never been very good at it in the first place, and she didn't think she'd ever master it like her friends had.

"You know, you always said you'd teach me Spanish but we never got round to having any lessons."

He was now whispering, his face close to hers. His voice was strangely delicate, like it could break at the slightest thing. He didn't seem boyish when he looked at her with green eyes. Delicate green eyes. Deliberate green eyes. Wide green eyes. What wide eyes he had. What wide green eyes, and they were both focused on her, not breaking away even as they were jostled by a rush of people moving past them towards the curtains leading to the ring.

"We could start now if you want?" she offered in the same voice he had used.

He smiled at her, and she froze. She wanted him. The thought assaulted her senses giving her no time to react. Doing the only thing she could think of, she leaned closer to him, and kissed him softly. Touching his jaw, she traced her fingers along his skin; his sharp bone structure feeling more familiar than anything else she could name.

But he didn't kiss her back.

Breaking away, her cheeks burnt and her stomach felt like it had dropped three floors into the basement before shattering along with her heart. He was like lightening, and she was petrified that he'd never strike again. Despite all of this, the one coherent thought she managed to think, was simply that he was the most handsome man she had ever seen. With landscapes painted up and down his arms, chest, back and face, he was honest and never contrite, raw and not contrived. She didn't regret kissing him, it had been the first kiss in a while that she hadn't.

But he hadn't kissed her back.

Torrie might have called it karma if they weren't such good friends.

Deeply mortified, Lita moved to stand, but he stopped her.

"Jeff . . . ?"

Now her voice was broken; but it hadn't been broken by anything slight.

On tenterhooks she waited, unable to say another single word.

"Usted es como el aligeramiento." He told her suddenly with a certain look flashing through his grass green orbs.

Just as suddenly, without any signs of deliberation or thought, he kissed her. This time not as softly as when she had kissed him. His hands tangled in her hair, holding her close. He kissed her like a dancer; as if he'd been waiting so long for the chance. She kissed him back just as feverishly, her eyelashes fluttering ever so slightly over his skin. His landscapes smeared onto her skin as she moved onto his lap, and she held him closer than any other man she had ever kissed.

His eyes were greener than spring when the broke apart and so, impulsively, she kissed him again.

This time he was smiling as he kissed her back.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, R&R if you have the time.

* * *


	6. Drive off tactic four

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp6: Drive off tactic four. **

* * *

She liked days off.

Sure, work was nice and all, but days off were just better.

Especially when it was her first day off in months and months; and when it was one not caused by injury.

Lay in her bed with Jeff sprawled gracelessly next to her, the sight of him still fast asleep and snorting softly made her grin. However, like all good things, they had to end eventually, and her day off ended in about an hour and a half when she had to go to the airport to catch a flight to WWE headquarters. Stephanie had arranged a morning meeting to prepare for another meeting Lita had with Stephanie's father the following week. The youngest McMahon believed heartily in over preparation, and Lita didn't dare argue.

She also didn't dare argue with Jeff when he skipped work the day before.

The thought made her heart jump around erratically, and gently she drew herself closer to his slumbering form. She felt like she was a magnet around him, always wanting to draw herself nearer and nearer. It was just everything seemed so much more peaceful when he was sleeping. It was as if time insisted on halting its progress just so she could watch him mumbled the mixed up lines of William Blake's poetry into his pillow.

_"Come home with me."_

That was what he whispered to her the day before.

It wasn't poetic, but it somehow seemed that way when he whispered it to her.

He had held her so close, and when they pull apart, she agreed easily. It had felt strange to leave the live show. Although Jeff didn't have a match lined up, Lita had still felt an odd feeling that it was wrong. Stephanie of course had breed that into all of the members of the WWE roster and old habits die hard. Jeff had no such qualms, and before she knew it, they had left, and were at home. Her home, not Jeff's. However it didn't seem strange in the least for him to refer to it as his home too.

Gazing at Jeff, she remembered fumbling hands and hesitating kisses.

He had smiled as he kissed her. It seemed as though he always did. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she could say the same. Because she was happy, she was free, and she was with him and that was all that seemed to matter as he looked at her with wide glittering green eyes. There was no guilt, no outside voices hissing at her, only him grinning as she kissed along his sharp cheekbone and ran her hands through his hair.

He was happy.

So was she.

That night he cried out her name, and she his, and not once did she feel any regret.

She only felt safe and protected.

Opening her eyes, she glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It was already nine o'clock and her plane left at eleven. She knew she should really get going. Normally she would have already been on her way to the airport. As it was, she was really cutting it fine. If she didn't want to miss her plane and thus spark Stephanie's wrath, Lita knew she should really start to get up. But she didn't really want to. Jeff seemed too noticed, because his green eyes had opened and were now watching her sleepily.

"Stay here today." Jeff mumbled in a sleep affected voice.

"I can't, I have a meeting with Steph."

"Oh, her." He grumbled.

"Yes, 'oh her'," Lita rolled her eyes, "That woman is my friend."

Jeff grinned boyishly, "I don't think the Ice Queen counts as a woman, now does she?"

She knew he was waiting for her to take the bait he was so gleefully offering.

She shifted away from him, pulling the sheets closer to her.

"Stop it,"

For a second he looked thoroughly reprimanded and guilt ridden.

"You're right." He told her, but then he smirked wickedly, "I shouldn't be so cruel to animals."

He laughed loudly as she whacked him in the head with a pillow. Yet he kept chortling at the image of Stephanie that was playing over and over in his head. Lita was not pleased, but Jeff just kept giggling and snorting into his pillow. His body shook with amusement, and she frowned as he continued gloat gleefully at his 'burn'. Refusing to let him pull her closer to him, she kicked his shins, but that didn't stop the self-satisfied look from appearing on his face. Crossing her arms, she frowned at him.

This, however, only seemed to encourage Jeff.

She gasped as he practically flung his body over hers to reach her mobile.

"What the hell are you doing?" She cried out, struggling to throw him off her.

Placing a hand over her mouth, he grinned triumphantly as he managed to dial in a number. She struggled for a while but soon relented, giving into to him. Defeated, she lay boneless under him, waiting for Jeff to get tired of the game he was currently playing. With a certain devilish look in his eyes, he removed his hand from her mouth, trailing his fingers over each rib; leaning down to kiss her flat stomach.

As he did, her current train of thought was disrupted.

His touch was gentle, yet it echoed making her skeleton want to abandon her body and fall into little pieces. He seemed to notice, because soon he began to take his time. With great ease he distracted her completely. His touch was like wearing blinkers, and she didn't mind at all as he continued his ministrations. Nipping against her skin, she arched up to his mouth and his hands, and her breath caught in the back of her throat.

She rather liked this new game . . . or she did until the person he was calling answered the phone.

"Hey Princess, I'm sorry to call you-"

Lita gulped in shock as she over heard Stephanie's voice; loud and irritated snap at Jeff. Using language her father obviously taught her, the brunette colourfully asked what in the world he was doing with Lita's mobile, and where her best friend was. There was a great emphasis on _'her best friend'_. But this only made Jeff, laugh. Again. Meanwhile, Lita struggled to get free, but Jeff merely looked down at her, with his hand once again firmly placed over her mouth to stop her crying out to the youngest McMahon. It was quite obvious that he was taking great amusement in the current situation.

Too bad neither Stephanie nor the redhead pinned under him could share the sentiment.

"Anyway Stephie, as I was saying before I was so rudely cut off; Lita is very sick, gravely ill actually. She must have caught that flu going round."

" . . ."

Lita couldn't hear Stephanie's respond, but obviously there had been one because Jeff looked a little awkward as he scrambled for words. Also, the healthy glow that had covered Jeff's angular face had faded, and he looked a little pale. His eyes flickered, the expression of smugness fading a tad to reveal something a little less calm than he had been only moments ago.

"What flu?" he asked rhetorically, as if Stephanie should well know what flue he was referring to, "The one going round the locker room. Duh!."

" . . ."

Jeff's eyes widened at Stephanie's response, and yet he still managed to smile a languid smile down at Lita as he gave Stephanie his own response. He also still managed to audaciously wink at her; flirting with a reckless impudently that one only expected from the likes of Captain Charisma, not Jeff 'Hey can I jump off that?' Hardy.

"I never said your locker room did I Little Miss Congeniality?"

" . . ."

"Hey, ladies shouldn't say things like that . . . But then again no one could ever really call you a lady so I guess that doesn't count does it?"

He was smirking by now, boldly gloating at her as he looked down at her. It didn't harm his ego at all when she blushed scarlet as he cheekily blew her a kiss. In fact it only made him more daring. Mischievously grinning at her, Jeff looked exactly like a rebellious teenager merrily pulling the wool over his worst nemesis eyes.

Yet, as always, Stephanie met his 'comment' with one of his own;

And Lita was almost glad she couldn't hear it.

" . . ."

"Come on Stephie, don't make threats like that!"

" . . ."

Only blurred murmurs of Stephanie's side of the conversation meet Lita's ears, but obviously whatever Stephanie was saying went straight to the point. Or, more accurately, hit below the belt. Jeff paled, and his smirk turned into a weak smile. Low blow. Very low. She could feel Jeff tense up, as if deftly insulted. It was at this point that she figured she'd have to take matters into her own hands.

However, while she was deciding this, Jeff somehow had gotten back a bit of his earlier cheek. This took the form of many varied and biting accusations which were related to her womanhood, and the extent of it. Very classy indeed for a small town boy like him. Even Jericho would have to give Jeff a gold star for effort and originality.

It appeared almost as if barbing Stephanie as if it was his favourite pastime.

"No, Lita can't come to the meeting. She's staying home today. I'm looking after her."

". . ."

"Hey! My care is not substandard! Just what are you implying?"

" . . ."

"I'm not going to poison my girlfriend with chicken soup."

". . ."

"Don't you trust me Pussy Cat?"

Squirming, Lita angrily glared at Jeff, but he just leered down at her. He was pleased with himself. Very pleased with himself indeed. Far too pleased with himself actually. Glaring at him wasn't working. She wanted to cross her arms, but they were pinned down with his body weight. Stephanie was wrong about one thing. Jeff was far from weedy when he was slumped across someone. Blowing her another kiss, he gave her a thoroughly triumphant look, as if he had the situation totally under his control.

She decided to take it out of his control.

Softening her eyes, she stared up at him under dark lashes. He might not have been convinced as he watched her out of the corner of his eyes, but the grip he had over her mouth lessened a bit. Not a lot. After all he did know her quite well, but it was enough for her to open her mouth. Kissing the palm of his hand, she watched as his eyes fluttered, and as he become rather distracted from his conversation with Stephanie.

"What?" he asked in a breathless voice, "I don't hear that . . . I mean, I missed what you just said-"

The last sentence ended with his voice becoming quite high pitched. A nervous reaction perhaps to the fact she'd started licking the palm of his hand, her lips soft and her touch warm. His breathing was now shallow, and . . .

Then with vengeance, she bit down into his flesh.

"Ouch, you little – you bit me!" he cried. "Good golly Miss Molly Holly!"

Lita laughed.

"No, not you," Jeff rushed to answer, "Um, who? . . . Uhm, it was the dog, you know, my pet, um dog. '

" . . ."

"Yeah, uhm, I did name it after Molly Holly."

" . . ."

With a gulp, Jeff turned to Lita, very pale, yet not defeated. Eyeing her off, he seemed to be considering something of great importance, something which over shadowed the taunts about Jeff's manhood or lack of that were currently flowing like a spring river from Stephanie's bow shaped mouth. At any other time, Lita would have found this strange, as usually it was around this time she would have been tackling the mobile from Jeff. Who, of course would be replying to Stephanie's accusations with some of his own.

Finally he seemed to come to a decision.

"Tell her you're sick." He ordered and plead at the same time.

She shook her head.

Very green eyes meet her hazel ones imploringly, "Please Li, pretty please. Pretty, pretty please."

Sighing, she grabbed the mobile from his sweaty grip. Pleadingly, he continued to look at her with impossibly wide needy eyes, as if that would convince her . . . well, though it had worked many, many times in the past, this time it wouldn't. Nope. It wouldn't work at all. All she had to do was get up, and catch her flight. Jeff couldn't stop her. Nope, no he could not. She was sure of it . . . or she would be when he stopped trying to weaken her disposition with those tried and true techniques of his. Damn itJeff. She tried to ignore him, but now trying to distract with a puppy dog smile, and it was becoming harder to get up and catch the plane she knew she had to catch.

"Steph, sorry about that,"

The sound of Stephanie growling the background was not comforting at all and Lita tried not to be nervous as she waited for a reply. She also tried not to glance over at Jeff. With his face aghast, he groaned at her passive words. Pulling her freehand over his face, he let out a whine as if she was double crossing him and dancing on his grave while doing so.

Lita was not amused.

Neither was Stephanie.

"I said flirt with him, not –" She then paused unable to continue, instead letting out a cry of lament, "Yuck, I can't even say the words!"

Lita coolly refused to give her friend any sort of answer. Jeff, of course noticed this. Considering it a huge leap in his campaign to awaken his best friend to the horrors of the Billion Dollar Princess, he began to hum a victory melody, tapping out the rhythm along each of her ribs. All things considered, this was a very good day in the life of Jeff Hardy; waking up next to Lita, one upping Stephanie, getting Lita to see the validity of one upping Stephanie . . . what more could a guy want?

Meanwhile, Stephanie was just getting started.

"God, I understand why Jeff said you're ill. That boy's all pointy elbows and knobby knees; he must have left bruises all over you, you poor thing." Stephanie bemoaned, "Not to mention how out of practiced he must be since Trish last let him have a poke around!"

Lita scowled at this, her eyes narrowing and her mouth tightening. She hated the thought of that blonde Canadian. She especially hated the thought of Jeff, darling Jeff, _her _darling Jeff ever being with that blonde Canadian leech. To think Jeff wanted to marry that woman! The very (ghastly) thought made Lita grimace darkly. Meanwhile Jeff's grin, like Stephanie's rant, continued to expand rapidly.

It was like watching a Cheshire cat, while listening to the Queen of Hearts.

Lita had had enough.

"I'm not feeling well." She announced, interrupting her friend in the middle of her howl.

"You're not?" came the suspicious response.

"No, I'm not."

To add to effect, Lita coughed.

Twice.

At this, Jeff rose up on his knees, his hands held up in victory. Looking up towards the sky, his face was overjoyed, and Lita wrinkled her nose. With a sense of satisfaction she brought up one leg, and squarely knocked him off balance. Landing with a thump, he fell in a tangle heap of overly long limbs to the floor.

"What was what?"

Leaning over the side of the bed, Lita looked down at Jeff, "Nothing, Jeff just tripped."

Stephanie's reply to such information was nothing less than what people had come to expect from her, "Clumsy oaf,"

"Don't be rude."

"I'm not. I'm being honest." Stephanie griped sourly.

Ignoring the distain in her friend's voice, Lita swatted Jeff away as he tried to get back on the bed. Gloriously happy, he was lighter than air as he gave up climbing his way back into bed, and started scissor jumping instead. Unfortunately that approach failed him too; slipping on the floorboards to land with a louder thump. Sighing, Lita gave in again, and held out her hand to help him up.

Jeff didn't even have the decency to look abashed as he clambered back up beside her.

No, he looked just as smug as Christian did the moment Torrie agreed to go out with him. It wasn't a good look, but as he starting singing she relented, and he knew it. She was wrapped around his little finger, and he knew it. He always had. Tugging on her hair, he looked utterly charming and she didn't even mind when he started in on the second verse of 'From Russia with Love' in an awful Russian accent.

"I've got to go Steph, Suddenly I'm feeling weak, and light headed."

"Bet it's from whatever boy wonderless gave you." Stephanie mumbled obstinately.

Lita pretended she didn't hear that, and coughed again.

"We'll continue this talk later."

There was no doubt the brunette would, probably the first next time they saw each other. But Lita didn't really care at the moment. Ending the call, she archly watched Jeff with narrowed hazel eyes. Giving the impression of supreme and unquestionable innocence he looked back at her. He then completed his look of virtuousness', by blinking his eyes and fluttering his long lashes at her. What a chaste boy he could be under the right conditions.

But he spoiled it all with a sly look of success, "You lied to Princess for me."

"Did not."

"Did too."

She crossed her arms annoyance; but this only made him laugh.

So narrowed her eyes, and coughed again.

"What?"

"I'm ill, make me breakfast," she request, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"Loser. I get you a day off and this is how you treat me." Jeff grumbled, "I should be offended."

But he wasn't. Quite the opposite in fact. Ignoring her feeble protests, he coiled around her as close as he could. Relax next to her, Jeff fully intended on spending the rest of the day in that exact position, and he was sure that Lita would agree once she'd realised the brilliance of his master plan. After stealing a kiss from her, he quite certain that Lita was beginning to see it his way, especially when she couldn't stop herself from beaming.

And that was how they spend their day.

Lita had always known there was a reason she liked days off so much.

* * *

Stephanie had never trusted any man that wore a cape; and with good reason.

Leaving a bruised Masterpiece in her wake, she couldn't help but congratulate herself.

It really was an inspired choice to wear those pointed Channel boots today.

Walking down the hallway, the brunette examined every employee surrounding her. It was an old habit, but a valid one. After all, one day soon it would be all hers. All of it. Every person buzzing around her would eventually become names on her pay list, not her fathers. Not her mothers and not her brothers. Hers. Possession was nine tenths of the law, and Stephanie already was anticipating the day when people realised that they were owned by her. She was looking forward to that day. Very much so.

Too bad so many people had forgotten they were living on borrowed time.

Her father wasn't the future of the business after all, he was only the present.

But that wasn't her focus.

The redheaded daredevil was. As it was, Stephanie could claim many things about her best friend. She had the best hair and the second best shoes hands down. But a talent for stealth was never one of Lita's finer skills. Her forte lay squarely in the wrestling ring and in the various Animal Shelters' her charity ran. It didn't lay, as it did with Torrie, in the avoidance of people.

It only took one hour to find Lita after Raw finished filming.

Disappointingly, Stephanie located Lita with Torrie. The blonde was nursing her bruised cheek with an icepack she's gotten Rob Van Dam to fetch for her. While she was doing this, Lita was quietly organizing some tactics for Torrie to employ the next time she saw the woman that left the red handprint on the pretty blonde's face. Candace Michelle wouldn't know what had hit her. Well . . . in imprint of her fairy wand right between her uneven eyes might give her a hint but that would only happen once she regained consciousness.

Stephanie, although liking the irony of the plan, didn't know why Lita bothered.

Torrie had always been a weak link. Stephanie had always held firm on that belief, and on her policy to never allow the blonde near a knife. As a McMahon she was more than aware of what the blonde was capable of doing with it. However Lita always had been the type to coddle the blonde and Dawn Marie. At the thought of the other brunette, Stephanie had to admit seeing Lita baby Torrie was better than having Dawn lecture everyone in her sight about how over indulged Stephanie was.

Gag; even listening to Linda was to much these days; Stephanie didn't want to deal with Dawn too.

Having her absent from the proceedings was a blessing in disguise.

Or rather a blessing without a disguise; Dawn was getting far too mouthy for her own good.

Sauntering up to her friends, Stephanie greeted them evenly. She was more than aware that in arenas like these, walls had ears. Unfortunately for her, they also had cameras. No one was going to fool her again. Fool her once shame on them, fool her twice . . . actually, she preferred not to recall how many times she'd forgotten about the cameras. Although she was certain her father would be able and delighted to put together a DVD montage of it whenever he so wished.

"Come on, I made dinner reservations."

A little crossed eyed, Torrie blinked sluggishly, "Oh, but Chris Master's asked us out to dinner with him."

This made Stephanie snort, "That arse? Unless you looking forward to fulfilling his dreams about writing into playboy about his ménage trios between his two of his favourite three diva's, I'd advise you to rethink that decision, I know I did when he propositioned me tonight."

Torrie blushed, but a sick look covered Lita's face. Looking down at her hands the woman that only moments ago was masterminding the perfect technique to leave a star shaped scar on Candace's face was gone. In her place was someone small and guilt ridden, disgusted by herself. Awkwardly, she twisted some of her long red hair between her fingers, and silently bit her lip.

"Sorry Li," Torrie whispered, patting her hand, "I should have known Master's was just like all those other losers."

"No, it's nothing. I mean, I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it."

"It's not like that, and you know it." Torrie declared passionately in a hushed voice. "I don't think that, and neither does Stephanie or Jeff, or Christian. He said you were always the Cher, and Matt was always the Sonny."

Biting tongue, Stephanie somehow managed to nod, "If Christian said that, it's got to be true."

At this, Lita looked up, now biting back a smirk rather than the tears that Stephanie had almost glimpsed moments ago. Silently the two women spoke without words, glancing over at Torrie who was patting Lita's hand caringly without the slightest clue as to what was going on. It was quite obvious what Stephanie was doing, and Lita was grateful.

"Come on Doll's, let get out of here." Stephanie announced, taking Lita's other hand and leading the procession out of the arena in the manner only a McMahon was able too.

Waling in between two of her closest friends Lita felt couldn't help feeling much better, and when she spotted Master's she took the lead. Giving him the finger, she laughed as his face screwed up as if he had bitten into a lemon. Stephanie was right about him and as he hobbled away from the three, Lita was convinced that Stephanie had also insured that any chances of him spoiling the gene pool of humanity was now severely limited.

Reaching the restaurant, Stephanie's concentration altered back to the conversation that had been left unfinished. Ordering her meal. In fluent Japanese of course (Torrie could speak all the French she wanted, but in Stephanie's mind, Japanese was the only language worth putting effort into learning). Subsequently the brunette chose to collect herself deliberately; taking her time to unfold her serviette and smooth the non existent wrinkles on her business suit.

"I think I need to clarify something my friend," Stephanie announced turning to Lita the very moment she was ready to take hold of the conversation and not a moment before, "Tactic three wasn't to acquire a badly trained boyfriend, but to unsettle Jeff through some harmless flirtation."

It was when Torrie didn't get over excited the key word 'boyfriend', Stephanie got suspicious.

"Barbie, if you're hiding something, it's not good for your complexion,"

Torrie was unruffled though. Strangely enough, that had been becoming a pattern as of late. It was off putting. She was even acting majestically at times, abandoning her cheerleader gone bad approach to self presentation for something almost European in taste. She was even starting to give up the permanent look of confusion that was forever filling her pretty face, replacing it with a look of . . . (insert gag) happiness. Jolie indeed. Finally, and worst of all, Stephanie was finding it increasingly hard to send the blonde into any sort of alarm or shock.

On the whole, it was disquieting and disruptive.

Almost with an imposing air about her, Torrie looked up from the drink list, "Don't be so over dramatic. Practically everyone knows they're dating. They did choose to make out right in front of basically the entire TNA roster."

"We didn't make out," Lita blushed, "I just kissed him once."

"He kissed you back more than once," Torrie corrected, "Christian heard from Rhino, who said you two were necking like you were in heat."

Lita's jaw dropped open, "We were not!"

"Of course you weren't," Torrie conceded, "But that's what everyone was going around gossiping until Jeff made then stop."

Unconvinced, Stephanie was more than dubious about any act of chivalry he could possible perform. Sure, she was fully aware of his white knight fantasy. Having him carry Lita back to the hotel after spectacularly defending her innocence was more than enough reminder about that annoying habit of his. Yet, to take on such a number of people to quiet some rumors (not half as damaging as the ones that still followed Lita) was questionable.

She voiced this to Torrie, but the blonde only shook her head.

"It's true. Christian had to help Jeff when he got into a fight with some guys after a show last week. Poor, Christian, he got a black eye and a nasty cut on his shoulder blade. I went and saw him in the emergency room and held his hand when he got stitches. He was very brave you know, even Jeff said so."

It seemed that this information was new to both Stephanie and Lita. Paling, the redhead seemed shocked by the news of Jeff's bravery. Or stupidity, as Stephanie preferred to think of it as. Yet never the less, Lita looked as though she'd swallowed a lung full of sea water. Thoroughly distraught, she ran a hand through her hair as shifted in her seat.

"You're not very good at driving a man off are you Lita." Stephanie finally commented, "But then again, Jeff was always the sort that drove women off."

"He did not." Lita defended blindly, "Jeff's wonderful. All of those women were dim-witted fools to break up with him."

This made Stephanie laugh, but not for the reason's Lita though it did.

"Alright Li, then why hadn't this demonstration been a success?" she asked indulgently.

It was obvious that Lita didn't know how to answer that, stubbornly stating, "I don't know. It's just not working at the moment,"

Lacing her fingers together, Stephanie lent forward just a little. Flares of something a little bit sinister flicker in her eyes as she looked at her friend. She'd just thought of the perfect tactic. Something that would really light up the evening sky, so to speak. Ignoring everything around her, Stephanie focused in on Lita. Pleased, Stephanie allowed a small smile to grace her face as the redhead fiddled anxiously with her silverware.

"What's he doing tonight?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Lita relaxed, "Oh, just guys' night with the boys. Very mysterious and secretive."

"You should go."

"No! No way! They've been doing guys night for as long as I can remember. I can't crash it."

Torrie nodded in agreement. She hadn't really known much about the guys' night until, but from what she did know, it was important. The guys all meet up once a month and disappeared all night. They only returned the next morning smelling of sweat, junk food and cheap liquor. They would roll into bed in the latest hours in the morning, and be so sensitive to the smallest sound that they would literally do anything she wanted in order to get some sleep. Fondly, she recalled Jericho handing over his wallet and sending her off to the Boxing Day sales. Good times.

"But you're his girlfriend now." Stephanie prompted with an unsettling look of delight in her eyes.

"So?"

"His life is different now you're dating; you need to spent time together."

Turning to Torrie, Lita and the blonde eyed each other.

Finally Torrie took the car keys Stephanie held out for them.

* * *

Sorry about the lack of regular updates, but to make it up to you guys I wrote a new fic called 'The Good Samaritan' where a very suspicious, petty, and selfish Christian anda very non-damsel in distress Lita. After reading so many fics where Lita is saved, or needs to be saved, or is a victim of circumstances, I decided to write something where she is the complete opposite. Thus 'The Good Samaritan' was created; check it out if you have time. Bonus points for whomever gets the irony of the Beatles referrence I included.

* * *


	7. Guys’ night

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp7: Guys' night. **

* * *

Unaware of what Stephanie had just persuaded her two friends into doing, Jeff was a sitting duck. 

Sitting in a corner booth in a greasy looking dinner, he and four of his best friends waited for their meals to arrive. They did this each month. It was a regular occurrence that, although being altered over the years, had not been discontinued like many of the friendships that they once had.

Weeks ago the very table they were sitting at had been filled with one additional person.

Chris Jericho.

Months ago it had been filled with two other people.

Edge and Matt Hardy.

Years ago it had been filled with four other people.

Andrew 'Test' Martin, and the three Dudley Brothers.

Now, it was just filled with five friends instead of the original twelve.

It was just the five of them now. It was a slightly saddening feeling. One that Jeff chose to ignore, mostly because it was easier for all of them not just him, if they focused on other matters instead of the reason they didn't need to drag three tables together to seat everybody. Absent mindedly he eyed off the packs of sugar he wished Lita would allow him to add to his coffee. He pondered this illicit inclination with his fingers tapping against the table, unaware that with each tap of his nails, his fingers unconsciously moved closer to the forbidden sweetener.

But just because he didn't notice, didn't mean others didn't.

Shane Helms being one of them. With sharp eyes he was encouraging his friend to rebel from his girlfriend's oppressive regime in the only way he knew how. Silver tongued bastard. Largely influenced by Christian's manner of political expression, Shane therefore held very high hopes that he would succeed. In the unlikely event he would fail, he already was implementing the second part of his two tiered plan of attack. So in addition to finely crafted sentences of persuasion, he also undermined Lita's orders, by slowly pushing the jar of sugar closer and closer to his risk taking friend.

The third member of the group was slumbering.

This was a definite change from his usual behaviour; which mostly involved him suspiciously sneaking outside ever half an hour. Lightly snoring with his face squashed against the window, Rob Van Dam dreamed another Technicolor dream that Freud would have chomped at the bit to analyse. Rob sadly enough was currently without wheels, and . . . a driving license, and had to be driven by the said Canada and Anglophone-Francophone political activist to the guys' night. Apparently, the toil of being a passenger had exhausted the poor man. Every now and then, he'd softly bark and kick his left leg out, something which had forced his chauffer to leave the booth in search of safer ground.

The safer grounds included better mobile reception, which Christian was taking full advantage of.

At that very moment, he was speaking in loud, boastful tones to Torrie. The girl was not yet his girlfriend, but he had ambitious plans to alter her single status and have her converted to his legions of peeps. Her history of neat avoidance of all his previous attempts to woo her seemed to be changing, with a third 'official' date already being planned. Christian of course took this as a sign that he and the other blonde were meant to be, and had started to refer to Torrie and his number one peep.

This pet name did not please her, especially when that was all he now called her.

Yet the pet name did please one member of the motley friendship group.

Laughing at Christian and his number one peep was the fifth member of the table. Shannon Moore didn't seem to mind Rob's dog like reflexes, chortling as he watched the newest edition to the monthly meeting almost take out the grizzly waitress with one foul gesture as he yet again tried to physically illustrate to Torrie how perfect he was (not just for her, but in general). The fact she wasn't there in person to see this grand gesture was lost on Christian. The novelty of the blonde's behaviour still amused him. It amused all of them actually.

Christian was a novelty.

Mainly because the groups of five used to be a group of four.

Christian had recently returned to the group, heralded in by his coveted position of supremacy over Jeff and his desire to further annoy his brother. Edge, in Christian's eyes, had taken a championship that should have rightfully belonged to him. Ungrateful cretin. Even when they were younger Edge had always had the nasty habit of pinching everything that belonged to his younger brother. In his true fashion, Christian decided the only thing he could do about it was reclaim all the friends that his brother had once had. After minimal effort, the blonde had rip roaring success (in his eyes), and with great pride he once again took his self appointed role as leader and role model in the friendship group.

It didn't help that Shane did actually look up to him.

However, as Jeff succumbed to temptation, pouring more than half the jar of sugar into his coffee, that didn't really matter. Because it the third Saturday of the month, and they all knew what that meant. Jeff certainly knew what that meant, and so did Shane who was gleefully happy as his friend took a gulp of coffee flavoured sugar. With huge green eyes that glistened hungrily, Jeff watched with great anticipation as his meal was placed before him.

"Hell Jeff, you look like your about to get laid or something," Christian stated incredulously as he sat back down at the table.

"Yeah man, it's not healthy to look at a burger like that." Shane added immediately, copying the exact tone of voice the blonde Canadian used.

Jeff didn't answer, his eyes trained onto the meal that was larger than the other four men's meals combined. He was a simple man, Jeff decided, and he liked simple things. Things such as food like this. He sniggered manically to himself. There was no one here to stop him. No one. Picking it up, he almost inhaled the hamburger, breathing it in at if it was a lover. No one could stop him. Not a single soul that would dare -

"Jeff, no! You're not eating that." Announced a very familiar voice, then, his precious hamburger was torn out of his grasp. "Don't you know how bad that is for you?"

Jeff whimpered at the loss, and looked up into the narrow hazel eyes of his girlfriend.

"Yeah Jeff, it's not worth it." Torrie added, "You should just crunch on some ice instead. That's what Mariah Carey does."

With pitiful eyes, Jeff reached out for the burger with a hopeful look on his face, "But, Christian and I were in the gym all morning. Don't I deserve a treat?"

"Cholesterol is not a treat."

Slapping his hands away, Lita pushed the horrendously unhealthy meal away from him. Wrinkling her nose in displeasure as she did so; covered in grease and dripping oil, she fought ever half hearted advance Jeff masterminded. As she did, his eyes seemed to shimmer with grief and pain so much so that she almost gave in.

Torrie vindicated her friend's statement, "Lita's right."

Any pleasure Christian had with the unexpected arrival of his lady love was cut short as her sky blue eyes swung round to focus on him. With a desperate motion, he placed his arms around his dinner, trying to protect it. But of course, that failed.

"I don't think you should be eating like that either. It's not good for you." She told the other blonde, "I think you should be more sensible, especially with all those big matches coming up. You wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that."

Christian looked pained. Torn between agreeing to whatever she wanted and his meal, he was a deeply conflicted man. In his mind, Torrie was the most beautiful chick in the world but before him was the once a month indulgence. When else did he get to eat so much wonderful, wonderful food? He couldn't decide what to do. His mind became fuddled and Torrie began to react over to remove the plate from his grasp.

"Eep." Christian jumped, before instinctually shoving a handful of chips into his mouth.

Torrie wrinkled her nose in disappointment, "I hope you don't think I approve of your behaviour."

Christian struggled to find words, and fail as she defiantly looked away from him to focus on Shane. Appearing quite disconcerted by the presence of the two women, he glared accusingly at them. The normal placied look which Lita had come to expect from him was gone, and he fixed a reproachful stare on her and Torrie.

"Not to be rude or anything, but what are you doing here?" Shane asked coolly.

Not in the least intimidated, Lita meet his glare, "What do you think?"

"You can't be here."

"Why not?"

Shane didn't understand.

Shannon decided to take over, and in a very small non confrontational voice he told the women, "Normally – no offence or anything – but normally, it's just us,"

"And Torrie or I aren't allowed?" Lita filled in with her eyes mere slits of hazel as she examined the timid man before her.

"Exactly!" Shane exclaimed.

"I don't think that will work,"

Polishing her nails on her jeans, Lita looked like she was channeling Stephanie. Torrie gave off the same air, but maybe even more so as she was still giving Christian the silent treatment much to his utter overwhelming distress. Around them, the three men not dating the women in question glared meaningfully at Christian and Jeff, ordering them to take action. Well . . . actually, Rob was still slumbering and quietly growling like someone had stolen his favourite chew toy. However that wasn't the point.

But when Jeff and Christian didn't say a word in defense, the two women exchanged a serious look.

"Lita, I need to go to the bathroom."

In a code none of the men understood, the two women nodded, and gracefully shuffled away from the booth and towards the women's bathroom. But in their wake, peace only lasted so long. Rob might be sleeping and Shane might idolize Christian, but that didn't mean all was well. It was Shannon who broke ranks first. Sweet, kind, docile Shannon. For that, Christian had a good mind to ask him if he still had Matt's 'Mattattitude' flagpole still shoved up his backside.

With a puppy dog expression on his face, Shannon looked over and asked, "If you're not going to eat that, can I?"

Both Jeff and Christian looked shocked. One of their own had turned against them. Traitor. Yet . . . Christian let out a whine. His eyes darting from Torrie departing form to his meal. His mind was on overload, and the very moment the pretty blonde left his sight, he became territorial. Choosing to act the only way he knew how in order to protect his meal. He spat in the chips, and licked the burger.

Sometimes, Christian really could be the lowest common denominator.

However. . .

"Five second rule." Shannon announced, reaching over.

He was a country boy at heart. As long as nothing was crawling on his food he'd eat it. Besides, Matt had spat on everyone's lunches back in the day. Well, all except Lita's. No, back then Matt preferred to swap spit with her rather than launch it into her breakfast cereal for laughs.

"Noooo," Christian cried in an anguished tone, " Shannon!"

Shrugging, he was not fazed in the slightest, "Torrie's right. It's not good for you."

"It's not good for you either." Christian replied smartly.

"Hell, she's not my girlfriend, so it's not her problem."

This, strangely enough, perked the blonde Canadian right up. Leaning forward, he intensely examined the other man. Something about this worried not only Shannon, but all of the others (bar the slumbering Van Dam), and they backed away from him a little.

With a curious look on his face, Christian asked, "Do you really think she's my girlfriend now? Really?"

Shannon's eyes darted nervously from Jeff to Christian, "Uhm . . . Yes?"

Christian let out a joyous yelp, "Thank God!"

Shannon let out the breath he was holding; and then reached out to grab some of the blonde's chips.

But then Christian seemed anxious, "Oh, God, I'm going to mess this up, aren't I?"

"What? No." Jeff answered quickly.

A little bit too quickly for the self proclaimed future Hall of Famer.

"Oh God, I have messed it up! I should have listened to her! I bet that's why she and Lita have gone to the ladies room. Torrie's going to break up with me."

Shannon abandoned the chips, and gulped nervously; obviously unequipped for handling the needy blonde, and then he did what came naturally to him. He kicked the sleeping wrestler, creating a rather effective diversion. Rob was not a person who when woken up suddenly took kindly to such interruption of his personal time. Letting out a loud barking roar, he flailed his arms, whacking everyone sitting too close to him.

"Shit, can't a man get some personal time!" Rob roared, although it was more like a wail for the slumber he was dragged out of . . . much like the wail a child lets out after being dragged from their mother's womb.

Meanwhile, behind the closed doors of the Ladies' room, Torrie hummed as she reapplied her newest favourite perfume. It was French, and Christian had gotten it for her. Both of these facts Lita had heard many, many times. She'd also been the recipient of too many second hand bunches of brash looking wildflowers that the blonde Canadian had been sending Torrie every night before Raw started.

It seemed as though Torrie was getting a little protective of her Petite Chien.

And Torrie wasn't talking about her little fluffy moving carpet, otherwise known as her dog Chloe.

Candace Michelle was getting a little above herself in Torrie's mind, and in the past whenever a woman got to smug, Torrie always found herself without a date. Or with one, if Torrie was the one acting smug. But that wasn't the point. No. This point was, it wasn't going to happen this time. No sir. The little 'Go Daddy' tart could dance around in circles of all Torrie cared, but the raven haired playboy model was not going to get her claws into Christian.

Not that Torrie cared either way.

She and Christian weren't even officially dating. There wasn't even a 'she and Christian'. He could do what he wanted. He was a free agent, just like she was. But, Torrie felt honor bound to stop Candace, after all, Christian had a reputation to protect. He had no idea what he was dealing with when it can to Candace. A woman like that could easily take advantage of him, and Torrie would truly hate to see that happen. She was acting in his best interests after all.

Or that was at least what Lita got told when Torrie shoved the newest bouquet into her hands.

Oh, and got ordered not to say a single word about Christian to anyone.

Lita tried not to focus too much on it. After one instance of accidentally reading the card Christian had penned, the redhead rather preferred to stay in the dark. It was Torrie's business if she was Captain Charisma's number one peep, not Lita's, and Lita wanted it to stay that way. Badly.

"Do you want some?" Torrie generously offered, holding out the pink and purple bottle, "It's from Paris. Christian said that girl in 'Amelie' wears it too."

Lita politely declined, she rather thought Jeff would dislike having her smell exactly like Christian's number one peep. She rather thought she'd dislike it too. Knowing her luck Christian would notice and make some egocentrically comment about it. He also probably make his comment while he had his nose pressed up against her neck or something as unpleasant as that. Sitting up on the sink, she watched Torrie flutter around preening herself. She was in red today, and she commanded attention in a way no one else could.

"I'm glad you told Jeff off. He and Christian can be bad influences on each other when we aren't around."

Blinking, Lita raised her brow, "I'm not sure I understand."

Rolling her eyes, Torrie looked nonplussed, "They need us to keep an eye on them. Silly boys."

"That wasn't what I was doing." Lita persisted, "I was just doing what Stephanie said."

Torrie didn't look convinced, "Yeah right."

"Listen, maybe we should just go. How about a film or something? I know you wanted to go see that French thing,"

Though Torrie's eyes lit up at the thought of a willing victim, she didn't seem as enthused as Lita expected, "We can't though. We told the guys that we'd be going with them tonight instead."

Striding away from the mirrors after one last flip of her hair, Torrie gleamed prettily at Lita. Ignoring the fact Lita wanted to uncrash the boys' night they'd irrupted, Torrie seemed unconcerned that they were treading on sacred ground. Opening the door a little, she seemed fully prepared to reenter the dinner, but then she halted. Craning her ear, she bit her lip and beckoned for her redheaded friend to come closer.

Like two Nancy Drew's with better outfits, they listened to the loud voices coming from their table.

"What the hell are you doing with her Jeff? Are you out of your mind?" Shane spat, "She ruined Matt and Edge's friendships, not to mention their careers!"

"Hey! Don't talk that way about Lita." Christian declared venomously.

Yet this only made Rob laugh, "Why should we listen to the guy dating a total ditz? Torrie's got you by the balls Dude."

"If you know what's good for you bro, you'll shut your mouth." The blonde threatened with rarely seen rancor in his voice.

"Maybe you should have told Jeff that before Lita got to him." Shane swore, "It's bro's before ho's, man, not the other way round."

This set Jeff off, and in a deathly quiet voice he spoke, "Don't ever call Lita that ever again."

Shane didn't listen, "What are you thinking Jeff? Matt's your brother, and Edge was your best friend. Lita's nothing more than a nice piece of –"

Before Shane could continue, Jeff interrupted him, "Lita was always my best friend. Edge never was, and if you remember Shane, you could say the same thing. Remember how she'd always remember your birthday, and how she'd always stop Matt and Edge from eating you alive so you could have a nice day? What about when she called the ambulance after you had the fall during training, even after you had everyone else convinced you were fine?"

Shane didn't say a word.

But Jeff did.

"It turned out you'd fractured your collar bone."

It appeared as if Rob went to speak, because Jeff continued sharply, "Don't say a word Rob. You always adored Li, and we all know it."

"I wasn't going to man." Rob apologized, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Shane muttered, "I didn't think."

"It's okay." Jeff conceded, accepting the two apologies of his friends.

However, Christian wasn't so graceful, "Rob, I think you have something you need to say."

Heavy breathing was the only thing Lita and Torrie could hear from where they were, but on baited breath, they waited for the man to answer. Torrie especially so, as she had only recently allowed Rob to take her to the Medical Emergency Room after being attacked by the two raven haired women she'd once been leader of.

Finally, Rob spoke, "I'm sorry about what I said about Torrie. I didn't mean it. She's a complete sweetheart, you know that."

"I do." Christian's said in a leveled voice, obviously aware of his friend's short stint dating his number one peep. "That's why she and Lita are more than welcomed tonight."

"That's fine, totally fine," Shannon broke in, trying to calm the situation, "Absolutely fine."

Lita could pick up a little annoyance in Jeff's voice as he spoke again, "Lita should always been invited."

Slowly, silence fell over the five. But as soon as that happened, tentative chatter reappeared, as Rob and Shane began to speak. Their combined efforts, with the additional help of Shannon soon calmed the table, and within moments they resumed their earlier discussions speaking without any of the anger or frustration that had accompanied their disagreement.

Turning to Torrie, Lita didn't know quite what to say. Torrie on the other had had a soft pink glow to her face, and a half smile on her face. Although she'd been shaken by the comments from Shane and Rob, having Christian defend her name was a nice change. Actually, it was more than nice, and she didn't think she'd mind so much now if he called her any of his pet names. Lita looked down at her hands, and then back up at her friend, with the same expression on her face.

It had been such a long time since anyone had defended her.

Although both she and Torrie had more than survived without the need for someone to protect their honor, it was pleasant. It was made Torrie glow, and it made Lita smile. Though that smile turned into a badly hidden gag when she walked back over to the booth and accidentally overheard Christian in the middle of another long speech about how wonderful Torrie was.

"She's got a tongue like an electric eel," he stated dreamily.

"Why thank you," Torrie blinked, somehow managing to sound graceful as she accepted his complement.

Christian blinked too, realised that his 'number one peep' had over heard him. Then he looked over to what had been his plate of food. It didn't exactly look just like it had before the pretty blonde had gone off to the Ladies room. Shannon realised this too, and smiled nervously. But that failed, and Christian never took mercy on his adversaries, especially not when Torrie was around.

Accusingly, he pointed at his meek looking friend, " Shannon did it. Not me, I promise."

"Oh, don't worry about that, I believe you."

No longer ignoring the Canadian look of uncertain surprise, Torrie played with his hair, rearranging it in the manner she found most pleasing. Christian although astonished by this reprieve was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, and quickly nestled closer to her allowing her to do whatever she like with his short blonde locks. This, of course pleased Torrie, and of course, got her thinking about setting up an appointment with her hair stylist to make sure he actually got a hair cut that suited him instead of the look he was currently sporting.

"I didn't touch mine either," Jeff claimed, "That was Shannon. Not me."

Rolling her eyes, Lita slip what was left of his meal back over to him.

"Really?" Jeff asked dubiously.

"Yes, really."

A pleased look spread over his face, and he quickly kissed her cheek. Blushing a little, she grinned and almost managed not to gag as he eat what was left of his meal like a duck, practically swallowing his burger whole.

After they finished their dinner, they left in a group of seven instead of five. Jeff almost believed that no one was missing. He almost believed, as Christian almost believed, that they had always been a group of this seven, instead of the original twelve. And as he held Lita's hand, he didn't miss a single person that was absent, and he didn't mind a thing because when Lita was smiling at him ever so brightly nothing else seemed to matter at all.

"Come on ladies, you're in for a real treat tonight." Shannon announced as they piled into their cars; excited he danced on his feet, "The nights still young,"

Glancing over at Torrie the pretty blonde shared Lita's confused look as the five men drove them off to a secluded house in the middle of the woods, and unpacked five large suitcases. Like teenagers the five men argued about something neither of the women understood, before they turned, and set their eyes on the two.

Slowly, Rob stepped forward, "You're going to have to trust us."

Then the guys/girls night really began.

* * *

Much later on, Lita yawned. 

Jeff patted her shoulders, "We'll be home soon,"

It was almost four in the morning when the night finally ended with a rendition of one of ACDC's many hits. Lita doubted she'd ever forget the sight of Rob Van Dam belting out 'It's a long way to the top, if you wanna rock and roll' in full kit, while playing air guitar. She also doubted that she'd ever forget the sight of Torrie dressed to the nines as the lead singer of Blondie, and the sight of Christian pouting because the guys had made him give up his long puffy blonde wig to the girl that was now his girlfriend.

Yes, 'his' girlfriend.

He's finally gotten the courage to ask. Although, when he did ask, it was in such an arrogant manner that it was a surprise to all that Torrie had agreed. Yet she had, and oh how Christian had gloated. Asshole. Lita yawned again. She was so exhausted. Blearily, she looked out of the window as the car slowed down, the tires crunching on the gravel driveway.

"This isn't home . . ." she muttered confused.

Rolling his shoulders, Jeff brushed a kiss onto her temple, "I'm just stopping to get some of my things. It'll only take a minute."

Glancing at her glowing watch, Lita blinked, "It's so late – or early. Why don't we just stay here tonight? Then you wouldn't have to drive."

Jeff looked a touch unsure, but when she opened her car door and stumbled out, any hesitation faded. It didn't take long for them to crash in Jeff's room. His home was small, tiny. It only really fitted one person and that was only when it wasn't at full capacity, crammed with weird little knickknacks that only a person like Jeff could collect. But since he was half asleep and she was even more so, it didn't matter.

It was late in the afternoon when they woke.

He woke first. Crawling out of bed, he halted when she reached out to grasp his arm. With a gleefully smile on his face, he obediently allowed her to pull him back under the covers. He also obediently undressed when she asked, and very obediently kissed her the very moment she let him.

"Good morning sweetheart."

"I like waking up to you in the morning." She told him.

He grinned; he quite liked it too.

With his ego sufficiently boosted, she had kept kissing him, and he had held her tight. His touch was soft and idle, and she felt as if she was of harm's way, warm, and alive. He kept her close, never once pulling away while smiling the whole time. Running her fingers along his spine, she couldn't help feeling protected, and feeling safe. Such simple pleasures . . . she hadn't even realized she'd lost them until he gave them back to her with soft words. True words.

For some reason everything about it all felt like this was what 'normal' should be.

Green eyes didn't lie.

Instead of tell him no, or giving him an excuse, she clung to him, and told him strange truths she didn't know were still true. Her body moved with eloquence she didn't know she possessed, and he responded in a way only he could. Taking his time, he languidly made love to her the only way he could, and she answered his actions with her own that made him wish for 'what if's'.

He felt that that was how 'normal' should be too.

An hour later, tired and satisfied, Jeff padded sleepily out into towards the kitchen to get something for them to eat. Absentmindedly, he hummed a little, tap dancing as he moved. Behind him, Lita wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and tried to keep up with his flashy dance steps. He laughed and she nipped his shoulder playfully.

Finishing with a spin, he dipped her, kissing her deeply.

It was during that lengthy moment; the sound of his front door unlocking was forgotten.

And so was the creak of the door opening.

"Erhm." Someone coughed.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, a very nude Jeff swung his eyes to the open door where not only his brother and his brother's new girlfriend stood shocked, but his father. He let out a whimper and jumped, pushing Lita behind his back. Then looking down and realizing the lack of clothing, he let out another whimper, and grabbed Lita and pushed her in front of him.

In front of him, in his boxers and shirt, Lita waved a little at the rest of the Hardy clan.

Then he realised that they were looking at her, Lita. The very woman his father new referred to as the 'red headed temptress sent by the devil himself to torture his first born son', and the very woman his brother still used posters of for target practice. With these thoughts rushing around his head, Jeff grabbed her, and pushed her behind him. Then, back in the original position, he when deathly pale for a shocked second, and then clapped his hands on a pillow, awkwardly covering himself up the best he could.

Blushing profusely, he somehow managed to asked nonchalantly, "Uhm, what are you all doing here?"

"We organized to take Dad out to lunch." Matt replied, blinking dumbly at the sight before him.

"Oh, I sort of forgot." Jeff replied, now trying to appear relaxed by leaning on the arm of his couch. "Sorry about that Dad."

"That's alright." His father replied, uncomfortably, "No harm done."

It was Ashley, in her usual tactless manner who tactlessly asked, "What the hell are you doing Jeff?"

"Errr…" Jeff tries to think of a plausible excuse.

Of course, he couldn't find any, so he did the next best thing.

He bolted.

Still standing, Lita bit her lip and did the only thing she could; she made small talk.

"Would you like a cup of tea perchance?"

* * *

Tea, had of course, been very awkward. 

Jeff was nowhere to be found, and she had bit marks all over her neck and shoulder.

But they had left eventually; the key word was 'eventually'.

Afterwards Lita searched through her boyfriend's tiny home for him. Hide and seek. God, with his slightly left of center tendencies, Jeff was on the verge of impossible to locate. Added to that was the overwhelming piles of stuff Jeff had collected over the years. All of which resulted in a maze like home she was unqualified to handle. It was like wading through a jungle of plastic plants and wind up toys. It wasn't until she searched through half the house; she opened the door of his linen closet that she found him.

With his face in his hands he refused to look at her.

"It could have been worse."

The rationally in her tone of voice was missed by Jeff as he let out a nervous laugh, "How? How could it have been worse than my father, my brother, and his girlfriend walking in on us making out and seeing me naked?"

Patting his shoulder, Lita squished up into the closer so they were sitting side by side, "Well, they could have come an hour earlier and caught us making love."

He let out a barking sound, almost crying, "But we would have been in my room, covered by sheets and blankets, and with the door shut. We wouldn't have been in the living room groping each other, with you in my clothes, and me out of them."

"If I recall correctly, you were trying to get me out of those clothes too."

"That's not the point Li!" he whaled.

Despite it all, she had to smile. Even most awkward afternoon tea couldn't dampen the grin on her face. Something about her boyfriend wrapped in Spiderman sheets set offset all the embarrassment she had suffered sitting in Jeff's kitchen discussing the weather with his family and Ashley. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she bit her lip and tugged a little on his outfit.

"By the way, that's a wicked toga."

He only groaned.

"Cheer up Charlie,"

He groaned again, "I don't see why you're so happy."

"I'm not, I had to deal with them all after you bolted."

Lowering his hands, he finally looked at her. A little bit of guilt filled his eyes and he couldn't meet her wide hazel ones. Fiddling with said toga, he nervously pulled at the soft fabric twisting it around his fingers before tenderly replacing the fabric with a lock of her blood red hair.

"Sorry about leaving you to the wolves."

"It's alright. I was fine."

And she had been. She hadn't apologized, and she hadn't let them walk all over her. Yet she had managed to be polite and courteous. It was almost strange looking back on her behavior. She had forgotten how strong she could be when she needed to be. She hadn't needed anyone to back her up, and even though she would have appreciated Jeff taking some of his families flack instead of her, Lita had managed.

Actually, she did more than manage.

She had been perfectly alright.

And the only reason it felt strange she realised, was because it had been so long since she'd been independent.

* * *

So what'd you think? I hope you enjoyed this chapter; I had fun writting all the guys and making them so pathetic and deluded, yetstill good guys that are loveable likeover grown puppydogs.

* * *


	8. Bad driver

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

** Chp8: Bad driver **

* * *

Jeff was a bad driver.

It wasn't a lack of skill or anything like that.

It was just he was easily distracted.

And Lita, in his eyes was a more than worthy distraction. Parking horridly, he winced as one of the front wheels of his car scrapped against the curb. That wasn't a good sound. Nor was that chunking sound in the engine. He really needed to do something about that . . . and the dinted bumper bar. But, unfortunately for Old Bess, to send her to the mechanics would mean he'd have to go off to work without breakfast. He also had to avoid lunches that weren't of the complimentary variety, and dinners that didn't come straight from Lita's refrigerator.

But that was neither here nor there.

"You really need to put this pile of bolts out to pasture." She stated as she fought to unbuckle her seat belt.

Reaching over to her, Jeff yanked at the buckle, "Pile of bolts? This car is a classic."

"Sunshine, it's old enough to be a vintage collectable."

Having no luck in getting the seat belt to release his girlfriend, Jeff brought out plan B.

The multi purpose screw driver.

"Li, Bella, have you forgotten all the precious memories that were created in this car." Jeff continued, very nearly stabbing her thigh when his hand slipped.

Used to the drama of 'Old Bess' as Jeff insisted on calling it, Lita rolled her eyes. Patting his shoulder encouragingly, she on the whole tried to stay still. It was best not to make many sudden movements when latched down in the death trap. Experience had taught her that. Precious memories indeed. Or rather, one of the various the lessons she'd learnt after too many exits from the vehicle that involved her being rushed off to a doctor to get a tetanus shot.

It was only when Jeff let out a nervous laugh, she became a tad concerned.

"Jeff?"

"It's nothing . . . I'm, I might just have to . . ."

Luckily for Jeff, plan C didn't need to be unveiled because as he finished stuttering, the welcomed sound of the release 'click' of the buckle filled the air. Winking at her, a satisfied smirk spread across his boyish face. It had often been said that the only woman he knew how to handle was his car, and Lita sincerely hoped for his sake that that wasn't true. It was hard enough coming second best to a blonde, she didn't want an ancient pick up truck to totally push her out of the running.

"See, I told you there was nothing to worry about."

Bouncing out of the car, he opened her door for her, and helped her out. To illustrate his previous point, he slapped his hand down on the bonnet. Lita, once again over looking the flecks of paint and the unhealthy shudder of the bonnet, couldn't stop herself from grinning at him instead. Lacing her arms around his neck, she kissed him slowly. Taking her time. He tasted of grape bubblegum and his hands were cool as they slide over her back. Deepening the kiss, she let him press her back against his car. Tangling her hands through his hair she held him closer. His hair was shorter now, but it knotted around her fingers as he intensified the kiss.

She couldn't breath.

But she didn't want too.

Nudging his hips against hers, she let out a whimper. He grinned, nibbling at her bra strap while she tried to remind herself to think straight. But just like him, she got distracted easily. Especially by him. Giving in, she tugged at his hair again, pulling his lips back onto hers. He didn't mind at all. Nipping at his bottom lip, she feverously looked up at him under dark lashes.

"Stay."

He gulped, "I want too, but –"

"Please,"

"I can't, I have to go to Christian's place to discuss tactics for our next match."

Oh, those puppy dog eyes of his.

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear, Lita traced her fingers along his brow, "I understand. But if you change your mind . . .the offer's still open."

He gulped again as he regretfully backed away. His eyes lingers on her, and he stumbled on the curb as he left her. Getting back into the driver seat he paused to wave at her, and thenhe stalled two times as he left the curb outside her house. Leaving her coughing in the black fumes and the concrete gutters outside her house littered with blue paint chips. With one hand out the window he continued to waved at her, and she waved back. Although as he waved, she wasn't sure if it was to her, or if he was indicated which way he was going to turn; the indicators had been playing uplately. But nevertheless Lita watched the old car until the very last moment when it turned and left her field of sight.

Fastening her hair away from her face Lita grinning happily as she walked up towards her house.

"That was quite a show you put on."

Pushing herself off the veranda steeps, Dawn Maria crossed her arms as she examined her friend. Not knowing why the other woman was there, Lita was momentarily confused. She was also momentarily lost. Lita hadn't known that Dawn was going to be in town so soon. The redhead knew Chris Beniot had invited her as his 'date' to the Hall of Fame induction ceremony for 2006, but that wasn't for a couple of days, and Dawn hadn't been expected until then . . . and Torrie was meant to be the slow one out of the friendship group.

"Dawnie, I wasn't putting on a show."

"Tell that to your neighbors."

"It wasn't like that."

Dawn could sense the embarrassment in her friend, and back off a little. But not for long. She hadn't come this far to ignore the situation. Accounts of Lita's actions had spread like wild fire through the gossip mongers lips, and Dawn Marie had been pained to hear what had been going on during her absences. Wordlessly she allowed Lita to invite her in and lead her into the drawing room. Sadly, Dawn took in the abstract paintings, the oversized t-shirts, and weird collectables that all came from one man only. Evidence of the man's presence was everywhere in Lita's home. Or rather, 'their' home, because as Dawn touched a blinking bracelet that only Jeff would have gotten his girl, Dawn just knew it was 'their' home, and that Lita was more than ever Jeff's 'girl'.

Whether Lita wanted to admit it or not.

"What are you doing here? I didn't think you were coming until later this week."

"You know why I'm here," Dawn stated darkly, taking her seat by the window.

The night was humid, and only the breeze of the fan blew Dawn's brunette tresses around her shoulders. She watched Lita with a face full of worries, a sleep deprived beauty that Lita suddenly felt guilty looking at. They were friends, they had been friends from the start, and now, it seemed, they'd be friends until the end. There had always been something certain about there friendship no matter the hurdles they faced and heated arguments they always had, and now, seeing her made Lita feel like she should have known better.

Dawn was the one friend that had been absent more often than not.

Yet she was the one friend out of the three of them that could fully see the truth.

"Dawnie, nothing's wrong."

Dawn sighed, "Don't lie to me. You know it doesn't work when you're lying about Jeff."

Lita looked down into her hands, "I'm not lying."

Dawn closed her eyes.

"Do you remember when you first came to the WWE?"

Lita's voice, quiet and smoky made Dawn open her eyes. Nodding, Dawn waited for her friend to continue. Although it wasn't what Dawn needed to talk to Lita about, it still sparked her curiosity. It seemed like a life time ago when the daredevil redhead had galloped into the ECW women's change room. Dawn remembered how fierce the other woman was, and how different it all seemed to become after Lita's arrival. Instead of being outnumbered and cornered, it all of a suddenly turned into just the opposite within seconds.Lita had been Dawn's only friend, and in many ways she still was.

"I was so excited." Lita continued, "You hadn't really been in the wrestling scene since ECW fell apart, and I missed having you around. I was so happy because now I wouldn't just have the guys to hang around with."

Dawn remembered coming back. She remembered it well. Lita was one of the few familiar faces that the WWE had from ECW, yet when Dawn joined the roster she felt like she hadn't known Lita at all. The redhead was really a daredevil, and she showed it on ever occasion. No longer was she relegated to the sidelines; only brought out when Paul wanted to give the crowd a cheap thrill. She was at the center; running with the bright, talented, and the winners. But it was more than that.

It was her and Jeff.

They were best friends. Kindred spirits. It was obvious to everyone. They just understood each other without any trouble whatsoever. Dawn had been jealous. She wasn't ashamed to admit it now. Many years had passed, and with that, Dawn had been forced to mature. It was just that entering the WWE she had been alone. So many of her friends were gone, and the only one that left wasn't really there either. It had just seemed as though whenever Lita was around she and Jeff were a package deal. However despite her previously held feelings of envy, Dawn couldn't help but remember how happy her friend had been, and how it was Jeff that had made her happy. They made each other happy; they always had and . . . and . . .

It wasn't right; the demonstration had to end.

"Lita, you need to stop all of this. Jeff's over his head upside down in love with you, and you can't keep participating in this bet."

Her words fell on deaf ears.

Lita looked startled by the four letter word. Like a horse spooked, she wanted to take flight. Dawn could see it. If it was Torrie or Stephanie, Dawn knew her friend would have. The other women were inexperienced with handling Lita in situations such as this. But Dawn wasn't.They had known each other far too long for that. Yet that didn't stop Lita from looking away, stubbornly refusing to meet Dawn's eyes; choosing denial over acceptance.

"Jeff's not in love with me. He's not. We've only been dating for a few weeks. It's nothing serious . . . Besides, he'll get over it soon enough."

Dawn laughed humorlessly, "Is that what you really think?"

"It's what I know."

"Then you know nothing."

Silence.

Lita was perfectly still now. Her disposition was icy, and on her own territory she refused to respond in the way Dawn wanted her too. Instead she pursed her lips together, bemused by the situation. Blatantly she glanced over at the grandfather clock, watching the seconds tick by, her eyes following the motions of the brass pendulum. Her tactics were not those of Stephanie's, but those of her mother's. A woman Dawn had meet on one occasion only.

Jeff had not met her at all.

Dawn knew why.

So she spoke again, "Do you want to know the truth about this whole thing? Because here it is; the one tactic that Little Miss Stephanie forgot and that Torrie doesn't even understand; the reason we all drive guys off, the reason we have such bad luck. It isn't because we call them too much, or are too clingy, or even because we ruin guys' night."

The brunette paused, and rubbed a hand against her temple. She was tired, and being woken every few hours by her wailing child hadn't helped the situation. She missed her family, and she wanted to go home. Yet Lita was part of her family too, so Dawn answered the question she had posed bluntly and with honesty not self hatred.

"The truth is, we choose the wrong guys. We go after pretty faces; we fall flat on our arses for pretty icing sugar words and extravagant gestures."

Dawn stood, pacing around the room.

"We stupidly lust after men that are wrong for us; we want the bad boys, ones that weld power, and ones that charm us into momentarily forgetting our fears. Jeff's not like that. You've always known that. God, even Stephanie's always known that even if she would never admit it."

"I know he's not like them," Lita told Dawn stubbornly, her arms crossed, her face closed.

Silence.

The clock ticked, ticked away, filling the vacant space between the two women.

"Yes, you do know that don't you."Dawn paused, a little surprised by the realization, "Maybe that's why you took this bet, to push him away."

"No I didn't. I took it because Jeff needs money, and after all his done for me I have to do something for him." Lita stated, as if she was a broken record.

How many time had she told herself those very words?

How many times had she needed to be convinced to continue the bet?

Dawn bit her lip, "Stop being so trite. You're lying."

"No I'm not, I'm looking out for his best interests."

"That's it isn't it? In some twisted way you think that it's in his best interests to not have you in his life. You really do think that you're a disaster for any guy, that you ruin their lives." Dawn's eyes narrowed as spoke, carefully watching her friend's reactions.

Her finger tips tapped on the window ceil while she watched. The slight impatience easily detected by Lita's knowing eyes. It was strange, Dawn pondered, that Lita could read her friends, her enemies, everyone so easily, but yet she could be so blind when it came to knowing herself. Somehow, somewhere along the lines she really had started to believe all of it.

She really did think she drove guys off.

But how could she think that? Especially about Jeff? He had never cared about success, people's opinions or power. The only thing he had ever cared about was Lita. HisBella Lita. He had given everything he could to her, and he had loved her more than anyone else had ever loved her. Dawn had seen it in the way he looked at Lita, as if she was the only woman alive.

But Lita didn't see that.

She saw herself as a time bomb waiting to explode, or as the unfortunate second choice.

Or third choice.

Or fifth.

"I am a disaster. Look at the mess Jeff's life is in because of me! He's constantly arguing with his father and brother, and now he hardly ever goes home. Whenever we go out all he does is get into fights defending me!" Lita snapped, suddenly unable to stop herself from saying everything that had been haunting her for months.

Her face was red, and she couldn't breathe properly. Dawn just didn't get it. She just didn't understand. She couldn't. Jeff was good, he was pure, and he was better than everyone else. He didn't deserve all of her troubles being loaded onto his shoulders. He had enough to deal with.

She had to end it with him.

The bet . . . it wasn't decent or anything like that, but it was for his own good in the end. He'd get tired of it all eventually. He couldn't survive all of the tactic that were being thrown at him. Eventually he had to crack and reach his limit. It was for his own good anyway. He'd finish having his fun with her, and then he could move on to greener pastures. He deserved as much after all the years of sacrifices he'd made for her.

She'd been weak once in her past.

She wouldn't let herself make the same mistake twice.

"This is the right thing. Look, it's all for the best, you'll see."

"I don't want to see you hurt him and yourself!" Dawn cried miserably, hating the way things were turning out.

It had never meant to be like this.

"I'm already hurting him! I've been hurting him for years."

It was the flicker of something in Lita's voice the made Dawn quiet her tirade. Stalking closer, she fixed her hawk like eyes on the other woman. Lita was hiding something. Something big. Guessing by the unflinching look in her eyes, Dawn got the feeling Lita's had been hiding whatever it was for a very long time.

"How many more tactics are you going to unleash on him?"

"It's not like that."

"Tell me what it's like then? Because you've been testing him for weeks now and you haven't shown any signs of stopping."

"It's not like I enjoy doing this to him, but it has to be done."

"Why? So he has a lump sum of cash and can go back to Trish once you've convinced him that you're too much trouble?"

"Don't you dare bring Trish into this discussion." Lita deathly warned. "Don't you dare."

Slamming her hand down on the window ceil, Dawn was furious. Lita was too. Trish always set the redhead off. Always. Fifty years from now Lita would still break Trish's nose if she got the opportunity and Trish would still try and injure Lita's knee if she got the opportunity. They despised each other with vermin that Dawn had never seen Lita exhibit towards anyone else. Not that Dawn disapproved; the blonde had abused everyone's trust, especially Jeff. The poor boy had loved the little blonde dearly at one point in time.

"I should have stopped Stephanie from tricking you into doing this."

"Stephanie didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do."

Dawn snorted.

Stephanie's principal talent was getting people to do things they didn't want to do.

It had been for years.

She was after all, a McMahon.

Lita had never wanted to see that. She had never allowed herself to see how truly horrid Vince's youngest child could be. Stephanie was like a kitten that purred sweetly to Lita's face, and then stuck her claws in Lita's back when she turned away. Dawn had no illusions about the other brunette. Leopards couldn't change their spots, and whatever Stephanie did to convince Lita of her change was obviously too underhand for words. Women like Stephanie didn't change. They just got better at making people think they did.

"I helped choose the tactics. I unleashed them on Jeff. This is my demonstration." Lita continued meanwhile.

"Has it been highly education then?" Dawn posed cynically.

Lita straightened her shoulders, "He won't last much longer. All of his friends and family hate me, and it's only a matter of time before I over stay my welcome. No guy wants to deal with everything I've been putting him through."

"He does!" Dawn cried, throwing her arms into the air, "He wants to be with you, he wants to defend you, and he-"

"No guy wants that." Lita repeated.

"Jeff does," Dawn stated in a quiet serious voice, "He wants to do all of that, because he wants you. He probably has always wanted you,"

Her voice was square and unflinching. Lita tapped her right foot on the ground and looked over at the dresser. She really needed to get around to cleaning it. Yet there were so many other tasks that demanded her attention. If only she had more time to focus on them. She had to go to LA in a couple of days, and she hadn't even organized what she was going to do with her pet dogs. She really had too much to do. It'd be so much easier if Dawn left it all alone.

But as much as Lita wanted to concentrate on a mental checklist of things to pack for LA she failed.

She couldn't compartmentalize this.

She wasn't like Stephanie; she couldn't bounce back with vengeance.

"It's only a matter of time before he gets bored," Lita mumbled under her breath, daring Dawn to contradict the aim of the bet.

Dawn felt something insider her crumbled at her friends words. In the past Lita had had always seen two steps ahead of everyone else. She might have been blind when it came to some guys, but generally she knew better than anyone how human nature worked. She could anticipate any opponent, and could win any match, but somewhere along the line something shifted.

She really did think Jeff would leave her.

She thought that even though he'd been the only one to stick by her. The only one. No one else could even come close to claiming that title. Not even Dawn. She might run second, but she was no where near a close second. Jeff had never failed her. Maybe he'd always wanted her. Those things could be terrifying, and Dawn understood why Lita wanted to remain in denial.

But that still didn't make the bet anything good or defendable.

"Please Li, this isn't right." she pleaded, "Jeff adores you, and you adore him. Don't lose that because of a dumb bet. Every tactic that was chosen failed, and it failed because he wants you not matter what. We all know you have a weakness for assholes, but Jeff isn't like the rest of the guys you've dated,"

Lita wrinkled her nose in disbelief.

Dawn tried again, anger this time, "Each time you guys chose another tactic to drive him away you feel horrible, yet you still go ahead. You still try to make him leave you even though you don't want him too."

"It's not like that." Lita snapped.

"You've always had a proclivity for self-flagellation." Dawn told her friend in a very quiet and very small voice, "You've always half expected guys to leave you, haven't you? That's why you've never been surprised by when break up with you."

"I'm not naïve alright. Fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice . . ."

"Jeff doesn't plan on leaving you. Not ever. He practically worships you,"

"That won't stop him from leaving."

"No, but it will make him want to stay. Even now, he's practically moved in with you. He's with you whenever he can be with you, and whenever he's not, you miss him. He's in love with you. He's doing everything he's doing because he loves you"

"Love doesn't work like that."

"How would you know? All your experience is based on two men that proclaimed the same sentiment but didn't even come half way close to meaning it in the way Jeff does."

"Please Dawn, just leave it alone, please."

Silence.

"Please, for me."

Dawn wanted to cry.

It was all going wrong.

It wasn't meant to be like this for those two.

Stepping out of the house away from Dawn, Lita sough comfort in the quiet, tranquil mess that was her garden. Angrily she scrunched up her jacket, pulling it tight against her. With a rush she kicked out, sending one of her pet dogs' squeaky toys flying out into the darkness. Bringing her hands up to her face, she tried to breathe.

But she couldn't.

Everything Dawn said wouldn't stop rushing round her mind; upsetting the careful balance Lita had created in order to undertake the bet. She wanted to break something. She felt out of control and terrified. This couldn't happen. She had to keep it together. She had to think. If she fell apart then everything would be lost, and she hadn't worked so long and hard for that to happen.

She had to stay calm.

It was then a voice broke through the silence.

His voice.

"Is it true? Was it all a fucking bet to you?"

* * *

R&R pretty please with sugar on top.

* * *


	9. Stick Sisters

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Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

---------------------------------------------

**Chp9: Stick Sisters.**

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"Was it all a bet?" he asked; his voice rough and heated. "Was I a bet?"

He stepped closer to her, towering over her.

He didn't look boyish then.

"Was I a fucking bet to you?"

"No." she whispered, shaking.

Yet the guilt on Lita's face only fed his already angry momentum. His green eyes hardening and his face twisting into something foreign and frightening to her. She had only seen him in such a state no more than two or three times, and never towards her. Never. He had always been so careful, never wanting to scare her, and as he looked at her now, she knew why.

"I heard everything you know. You and you're little friends were organizing 'tactics' each week."

White knuckles and whites of his eyes filled her vision, and she tried not to shake. Everything was crashing down around her and her vision was filled with disaster. The tense lines of his body coloured him into something she had created. She didn't want to admit the truth, but she didn't want to lie to him either. She reached out to him, only to have him pull away from her touch as if she was toxic.

"Jeff, please, I'm so sorry. But it wasn't like that –"

"How could it not be like that?" Jeff cut her off with a knowing look, almost daring her to contradict him.

But she couldn't.

"So what was I? An easy lay until something better came along? A folly to amuse yourself? Oh, and to amuse your friends as well? Well? What? What was I to you?"

"It wasn't like that Jeff; calm down."

"Calm down?"

"Don't be like that Jeff, please,"

"Please . . . Please?" he questioned sarcastically; making a mockery out of her words, her pleas.

"Jeff, I care about you,"

He laughed.

She backed away, frightened by his response.

She felt small and timid. He glared down at her, and she had never realised how much taller he was than her until then. He towered over her, and she looked up at him like a school child up to a teacher. Yet instead of fury, she saw pain rippling across his face. His eyes were closed off, but years of friendship and a few months of dating allowed her to catch shard of betrayal that even he couldn't hide. It shattered her . . . she had done that to him, to Jeff, to her Jeff.

"I was a fucking bet to you. Everything was a fucking bet to you. Us. Me. Everything."

Indignation at his description of their relationship fought against her shame induced silence.

"You were never a bet. Never."

"I don't believe you. You liar."

She couldn't speak.

Worse things had been said to her before. Much worst. She'd been called every single name in the book; every insult had been thrown at her, every criticism, and every bitter word imaginable. Horrid words had been directed at her for years, words that the nuns at her Sunday school would have scrubbed out of people's mouths with soap, but . . . nothing anyone had said had ever left her so hurt. She felt like she had been speared, or pedigreed, or FU'd. Completely winded, she couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even meet his eyes.

He ran a hand through his hair.

Hair that he had only recently restarted to dye different colours after she'd made a small off hand comment early in the morning when she had still been half asleep. She hadn't even meant it; it had just been a snippet of a half unconscious stream of thought. But the next day his hair was dyed her favourite colour and he had blushed when she told him that he looked handsome. But now his hands were shaking so much that she doubted he could unlock his car that was parked outside her house.

He had never been a good actor, but he figured this was a good time to learn.

Yet even with his game face now on, she could see his anguish. Something subtle though had changed in his green eyes, and she wrapped her arms around herself. All the bonds that their friendship and being lovers had made seemed to be breaking, and she wanted to reach out to him back he was already backing away as if he already knew her intention.

"Oh, Christian cancelled tonight, that's why I'm here; to see you. Just my luck."

Without another word, he turned and fled, and she was left standing there, suddenly cold. Rapidly blinking, she froze as she watched him getting into his old car. The sounds of music; loud and fast filled the air, and the tires squealed as he peeled away. Paralysed she stared at the red tail lights until they disappeared into the darkness.

Then she was really alone.

For good now.

For the next few days, Lita walked around as if she'd had a lobotomy.

She felt like a candidate for that old Ramone's song, and she felt completely detached from everything around her. Dawn was staying at a near by hotel (not too near though thanks to Stephanie's meddling), yet she wasn't any help for her redheaded friend. In fact both women found themselves less than helpful; in Dawn's case out of circumstance, and in Stephanie's case, out of her rather erroneous choice of words after being told about the events that had lead to the end of the bet. Stephanie in response to this unwelcomed aftermath had resigned herself to bulling the new employees with slightly less than her usual amount of vigour. Distressingly she discovered that one of her favourite pastimes; yelling at Maria and Ashley, didn't make her feel the slightest bit better, not even when Ashley ran and tattled on her to Matt (which normally caused an average day to be reclassified into a joyful one).

Meanwhile Torrie, poor Torrie was torn.

The pretty blonde had always been a good, loyal friend to Lita, and vice versa. But that had been in the past, and now in her present there not only was a best friend for Torrie to deal with, but a boyfriend. Her alliance to Christian was obvious, and he had more than proved his worth of such emotional attachment, even with his perchance for labelling his love his 'number one peep'. Christian being himself, of course pitied Jeff (the second 'Problem Solver' in his service), and thus Torrie knew all about the youngest Hardy's current state of mind.

Or lack there off.

But Lita didn't dare ask about him.

She was no longer privy to such information.

She had lost the right, and she did not fool herself into believing otherwise. She had accepted a bet that she had known would hurt him. Looking back, Lita hated how deluded she was. How could she have not broken his heart with all of her senseless behaviour? Even if they hadn't been dating the impact of her actions would not have been any less. For he was her best friend, and he had always cared for her, and like always he had always gotten hurt because of her.

She had never deserved him.

Yet she selfishly missed him like a limb that had been lost at war.

She missed him as if she had lost a piece of herself and was horribly off balance without it. Everything around her seemed to reflect as such. Her mood stretching to fall over others, affecting them all. Nothing seemed to penetrate the fog that had settled down on her. Throwing herself into work, she avoided idleness with a vigour that felt unnatural. Only weeks ago she had been sleeping in until noon for no other reason than she wanted too, now she worked all hours of the day, volunteering her time to the McMahon's company at any opportunity.

This probably made Stephanie happy.

Well, it may have done, but Lita wasn't sure. With the 2006 Wrestlemania only days away, the brunettes hands were more than full, and she was having much more contact with both her family and her ex husband that she would have desired. The youngest McMahon was also spending far too great an amount of her precious time obeying orders set by others. The position of messenger of the gods had never appealed to the Billion Dollar Princess, and as it was, she was in a malevolent mood much of the time she wasn't around her few friends.

Dawn was no help.

Lita knew it was wrong, but she couldn't help feeling some sparks of anger directed to the other woman. It was just . . . her life had been going so well. She and Jeff were happy, and as long as the bet wasn't on her mind Lita had found herself believing the bet didn't exist at all. It was selfish and it was self centered. It had been her own fault that the dominos had falling over, and that Jeff had been so utterly destroyed.

It was her fault and no one else's.

Sullen and unwilling to interact with anyone other than perhaps Torrie, Lita sat alone as she waited for Raw to start. Cracking open a book, she tried to past some time. But the plight of poor Anna in Tolstoy's classic did not ease her mind. Skipping a couple of chapters, Lita tried to connect her mind to the novel, trying so hard to ignore the events of the past few days.

Too bad Edge happened upon her.

"Hey Li, uhm, I heard about you and Jeff," he stated, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

"Oh."

Who hadn't?

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

He must have interpreted her look of apathy for confusion, because he pulled himself up onto the table to sit next to her, and explained further. His hands were twitching and he was smiling that huge nervous smile that even the backstage staff could identify immediately. Detached, she gave up on 'Anna Karenina' when it became apparent that her ex-boyfriend wasn't leaving as quickly as she had hoped.

"I mean, I'm sorry that it didn't work out. We all saw how happy you guys were together,"

She waited for the 'but'.

There was always a 'but' with him.

"But don't worry, you'll find someone perfect given time."

She looked at him, and blinked slowly. As the second flittered past, his smile weakened a little at her gaze, and he removed the book from her hands. Another used tactic she recognized. He never liked it when she ignored him. Ironically, she had used to feel the same way about him. Through lenses that certainly weren't rose coloured, she remembered hating how he would look at all of there old friends, and how she just knew in the pit on her stomach that it'd only be time before they took him back. Him. Him nor her.

"Good book?" he asked.

Holding out her hand, she waited for him to give it back. He finally did, with a guilty look on his face. The penny must have dropped. He really should try to be more original. Didn't someone say insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? She didn't know and she didn't particularly care . . . she didn't really care about much now.

Glancing at the cover, Lita shrugged, "I guess."

"What's it about?"

Lita eyed him, considering if he was mocking her; he was an intelligent man, how could he not know the content of the novel? But as she watched him, an unexpected epiphany replaced any hostility. Instead of a man baiting her, she saw a man that . . . that was alone, and that was trying terribly hard to hang on to the few things that he knew to be true.

"It's about Russia," she answered carefully, accommodating him more that usual.

He looked pleased by her answer. He smiled a wider smile at her, and of course he looked more handsome than ever as he did so. His tall lean body curled over a little to read the text on the cover, his mouth moving a little as he took in the title. He wasn't exactly charming, but he certainly seemed more confident, and when he was confident he was too devastatingly handsome for words. If she didn't know better she might have fallen for him all over again.

"I've never read it. Would you recommend it?"

She knew what he was trying to do. She knew what he was trying ever so hard to achieve in the small hesitating conversation they were holding. In some ways she appreciated it, and in some ways she didn't. Edge spoke with a satin lined voice, and he smiled beautifully at her, yet she didn't feel a thing. Not a single thing. It was then she realised he didn't really know her any more. He didn't love her, he wasn't her friend, and he wasn't particularly anything special to her.

Looking into his large blue eyes, she nodded, "Yes, you can borrow it if you want."

He shook his head, "I couldn't do that. You're still reading it."

"I don't mind."

Opening the cover, she scrawled her name into it, even though she was more than certain Edge wouldn't forget that the book belonged to her. Then she pushed it into his hands. He looked a little surprised by her action, but pleased none the less. After all this was what he wanted to gain. Her friendship, or something that could be closely classed as such. She knew he missed what they had before everything had gone wrong. Apart from his mother, Lita knew she was the only woman that Edge had ever been close too. The only woman he had ever really been friends with.

Maybe it was wrong of her to accommodate him so.

Because in the past whenever she was around him she felt horrid.

It wasn't him. She didn't want to blame him. It would be childish and wrong to do so, because it wasn't his fault really. But she could not escape what she felt. When she was with him something inside herself slipped, as if letting go in defeat. He wasn't good for her. He didn't make her feel well. He made her feel ill, and used, and blinded. However much she had wanted him and had wanted him to love her, couldn't change that irreversible fact.

They just weren't good for each other.

She wasn't sure if he ever had been good for her, or for anyone else. The thought saddened her because she knew that wasn't what Edge wanted. He longed for stability, and she knew he had found more comfort than anything else with her when they had started their relationship all that time ago. He had needed her, and she had allowed him to need her because no one else ever seemed to want her around anymore.

Trish.

The two Canadian blondes had been dating for a while now. Lita didn't know if Edge and her ex friend were good for each other. She didn't know if Trish made him happy, or if he made her happy. She didn't know anything about the pair's relationship other than it had started a week and a half after Edge and her own relationship ended.

It was then Lita almost felt sorry for Trish.

The blonde wasn't a good person. She wasn't particularly kind, nor was she particularly loyal. However she wasn't without any redeeming features, and even Lita, as biased as she was, could recognize that fact. Nor was the blonde woman the monstrous antagonist that Lita sometimes wanted Trish to be. But there was something chronically needy about Trish. Something which caused her to move from guy to guy, friendship to friendship without looking back. She hurt people. She had hurt a lot of people. She used them too. Used them, and then thrown them away without a second though. Lita had watched her work her way through, Jeff, Christian, Chris Jericho and many others.

But Jeff and Christian particularly stuck in Lita's mind.

Jeff . . . well that was obvious. It was more than obvious actually. He had adored the little blonde. Lita hated the thought, but she knew he had. Lita had witnessed and she had understood how much he cared for Trish. She had seen it. How his eyes sparkled just that little bit more whenever he noticed Trish was around. He'd spent so many of his pay checks on flowers and cards, taking her out and spoiling her. Lita had watched him, and once or twice had even helped him with it.

Yet, she had hated it.

She recognized that now. Back then, it had been a prickle at the back of her neck whenever she saw them together. Once in a while the prickle was replaced with a spark of annoyance coupled with a sharp pain whenever she saw Jeff with Trish instead of by her side. Maybe she had been jealous even back then. After all, he had been obsessed with Trish in a way that he had never been obsessed with a woman before or after.

Trish had hurt him.

But not before Lita had convinced him not to marry Trish.

Eleventh hour success on her part.

Christian had been a victim of Trish too. Many people forgot that, overlooking it for Jericho's rejection instead. However . . . Trish's rejection of Christian had left him altered. He had always pined like a scolded dog for Torrie, yet after Trish that had changed. He had bounced from woman to woman, getting used, and using. He . . . he had been unable to move forwards. He had been unable to allow himself to pursue Torrie or any woman for anything other than a fling for a very long time. Only now did it seem the blonde man was getting back on track.

"Thanks for the book Li,"

Li.

Li?

Yet she shrugged, not saying a word about the endearment, "You're welcome."

"I'm really am sorry about you and Jeff."

She didn't ask why, even though she wanted too, instead, she bit her lip, "Thanks. That means a lot."

It didn't.

But she could tell it did to Edge so she let him continue to believe that his words meant something to her.

She let him make a couple of jokes, and a couple of foul comments that guys usually reserve for guys' ears only. She watched words leave his lips, and nodded and smiled at the appropriate times. He wasn't in fine form, but he was still better than most other people, and she let him continue talking to her far longer than her friends would have liked. She let him keep talking and she even joined in on a couple of occasions, but . . .

She didn't want what Edge wanted.

She didn't want to spend all her time potting for championships. She didn't want to always be fighting through opponent after opponent. She wanted a guy that would give her a piggyback ride home when her heels gave her blisters. She wanted a guy who would spend a whole hour teaching her how to play the harmony of 'Rain drops keep falling on my head' on her teeth, so that they could do a rendition of it together before his wrestling match.

She couldn't finish the cryptic crossword anymore.

There were always a couple of ones that stumped her, and she could never find the answer no matter how hard she looked. She could never finish it, and it made her feel lopsided and more miserable than she had any right to feel. She never knew what to wear anymore, and she could never find anything in her own house and . . . and . . .

Jeff.

Jeffery Nero Hardy.

She missed him.

She just missed him and wanted him back even though didn't have any right to miss or want him.

Edge talked for a bit longer, and she listened with one ear. After a while he left with her book, and she found herself with nothing to do. Sullenly she watched people scurry around. In the corner of her eye, Lita saw Torrie on her mobile. It was obvious she was speaking to Christian. She was always speaking to Christian now. Everyone knew they were dating, and Torrie had made sure everyone knew that Christian was now off limits to anyone that wanted to keep their faces looking pretty. Of course, in Torrie's mind Candace's face wasn't pretty anyway, and time was ticking away until the Pillow Match at Wrestlemania where Torrie planed on making sure no one else though the smug brunette centerfold was anything close to attractive.

"Why were you talking to him?"

Turning a little, Lita watched Trish cross her arms as she waited for a response. The blonde had appeared out of nowhere, and so did the multiplying spectators. Torrie had put away her mobile and was striding up the hall purposefully. The two blondes might be tag team partners on occasion and Torrie might play peacemaker once in a while, but Lita was always Torrie's best friend. Always.

"Because he spoke to me first."

Lita's response obviously displeased Trish. Her eyes narrowed, and her lips tightened. But other than that, she remained at seemingly ease. She was trying so hard to appear at ease. So hard. Lita wasn't trying at all. Her response was ever so slightly belligerent, and the nonchalance that it was spoken with annoyed the blonde Canadian even further.

But they weren't going to fight that night.

No, not that night. But in the coming months they would. Lita knew it. They always did. That was what they did now. Fight. But not tonight. That would occur later, rather than sooner, and for the first time, Lita was the one to decided that. Now more cat fights in the halls; it would happen on her terms now, not the blondes. Shrugging, Lita pushed herself to a standing position and turned away from her former friend; walking away from Trish. After a few moments, the clattering of heels sounded Torrie's approach as the tall blue eyed blonde chased after the redhead.

"Wait up Li,"

Little Chloe growled a little at her mistress, as Torrie caught up. Her heart shaped face was anxious as she tried to think of something to say. Her long hair was straight, and it glittered in the light. In a pretty gold dress, the one bought so long ago, shimmered and floated around her. A couple of bright wildflowers, most probably sent by Christian were pinned prettily into her hair and around her wrist.

"What happened back there?"

"Nothing."

"Trish looked pissed. You should be more careful, you know how she can be. She'll look for any reason to –"

"I'm not afraid of her." Lita interrupted. "And I am careful."

Torrie looked like she had been slapped, and Lita felt a surge of guilt fill her. The tall blonde was just trying to help, and for her effort she had been rewarded with a short barb. A barb that Torrie would take personally, because that was how she was underneath the glitz and glamour of her in ring persona. Lita knew than almost better than anyone (bar Christian), and guilt filled her.

"I'm sorry."

And Lita was sorry.

"I didn't mean it, Tor,"

Fiddling with Chloe's collar, Torrie tried to shrug it off, "Yeah I know."

Attaching the long diamante leash, Torrie let her white little dog scurry around the hallway as the two friends walked side by side. Getting under peoples feet and in the way, Torrie didn't seem to be paying the slightest bit of attention to her pet as the two women moved up the hall towards Stephanie's make shift office. After Chloe had tripped the fifth backstage staff member, Lita gave in and swooped down to pick the little fluffy ball up.

Signing, Torrie looked worn out, "What were you and Edge taking about."

Lita didn't want to answer, but Torrie deserved one, "He apologised about Jeff and I. Then I lent him a book."

"Idiot."

Lita baulked, and Torrie blushed, "I meant Edge, not you. But lending that man anything is stupid. I bet he forgets to return that book to you."

Reaching Stephanie's office, they found it empty and made their selves at home on the couch beside Stephanie's desk. Brushing her hand over her dress, Torrie fussed over the gilded material. After making certain that it wasn't crease, and wasn't going to get creased she glanced over at her friend. Things once again felt awkward. The scent of the flowers Christian sent Torrie filled the air. They were pretty, and the rest of the bunch was back in the women's locker room right out on show for all the others to see (and to salivate over).

Torrie had a tag team match with Trish later that night.

On Stephanie's desk lay the forms signifying the roster of matches for that night. Lita could tell Torrie was nervous about it. The blonde had never felt confident in the ring, something that Lita had taken advantage of in the past to win numerous matches. But they weren't friends back then, and now they were. Back then Trish had been Lita's closest female friend; Dawn Marie forgotten amidst the suspicion of something going on between the brunette and Matt Hardy.

Stick Sisters.

That what Lita and Trish had been. Or maybe they still were stick sister. An awful term, but some would considering it fitting. After all, they did seem to have the same taste in men. Jeff, Matt, Jericho, Christian, and now Edge. Some men counted more than others. Jeff in particular had counted for both of them. The thought of him made Lita feel like she had crashed into the ground at full force, and she blinked rapidly. Flicking through her bag, Lita knew she wasn't going to find anything else to read but it kept her hands from becoming idle.

Coughing, Torrie look very nervous all of a sudden, "Li, I have something for you."

Glancing up, the redhead waited for her friend to continue.

"Uhm, actually, Christian asked for me to give this to you. I don't know what it is though."

Handing over the white envelope, Torrie looked like she didn't know exactly what to say. It was clear that she was uncomfortable. Tucking a clump of golden hair behind her ear, she nervously twitched. Then seeing Chloe chewing at the corner of Stephanie's leather couch, the blonde filled the next few seconds disciplining the little dog. From outside the room, the sounds of Dawn Marie and Stephanie bickering echoed down the hall, alerting everyone within hearing distance of their immanent arrival.

"Who gave you that backstage pass? I didn't authorize it."

"Your brother did."

"Shane? How did you get him to do that?"

"What are you insinuating?"

"I don't need to insinuate, I think I'm being perfectly clear."

"I didn't get him to do anything he didn't want to do."

"Yeah right."

Slamming the door open Stephanie made both Lita and Torrie jump and she and Dawn stormed in. But as suddenly as they had, they stilled as they spotted the redhead. It was very out of character, and Stephanie recognized this first. Wrinkling her nose, she tried to remember where her argument with Dawn ended, but couldn't. Instead she did the next best thing.

Striding back over to the door, she grabbed the first person she spotted.

Unfortunately for the Spirit Squad this happened to be them. A malevolent grin spread across Stephanie's face as she took in the sight of the male cheer leaders holding their pompoms and loudspeakers. Of course, the green and white dressed men of the spirit squad weren't the brightest crayons in the box so to speak so they didn't make a dash for freedom when they should have. Poor stupid cheerleaders, they didn't have a snowballs chance in hell with Stephanie looking at them in that predatorily way she looked at people she considered her inferiors.

"Heya Miss Stephanie," Kenny greeted, his round face beaming at her dumbly, and the other members following suit, each glowing at her as they repeated the greeting.

"Hello boys, you're just the people I was looking for."

"We are?" they all said in unison, looking very chuffed.

"Yes, you are," Stephanie cooed in a sugary tone, "I need you to go give Ashley a little cheer."

"Only a little cheer?" they all questioned aghast.

Shrugging, Stephanie managed to look both adorable and powerful, "Alright, how about a nice big one in the middle of the ring?"

"Super Miss Stephanie, we won't let you down!" they all yelped, jumping up in a synchronized cat leap. "You can count on us!"

Already tiring of their antics, Stephanie felt her grin slipping but held onto it the best she could as she gave her next order, "I want the cheer to be a reenactment of how Ashley broke her leg. You could even ask her out to watch it and get her opinion! Of course, you're free to take artistic liberties with how you present your cheer."

They eyes of the male cheerleaders lit up, "That's a super doper idea Miss Stephanie! We could even use red streamers and glitter for all the blood!"

"That sounds fantastic!"

Leaving the boys to their devices, Stephanie slammed her door shut again.

"What?"

Her three stared at her disbelievingly, almost shocked by what they had seen. Unlike the Spirit Squad, Chloe did take the opportunity she was presented with. While Torrie gapped at the Billion Dollar Princess, the little dog jumped off the couch, and once again fixed her sharp little teeth into the corner leg of the couch with vengeance.

"Come on, it's all in good fun."

This excuse was ruined by a maniacal little snigger that slipped through Stephanie's lips the moment she thought of the red streamers and glitter. She might have gotten rid of Christy Hemme, but as long as Ashley was still stomping around in her Kmart combat boots Stephanie was sure to get a ride or two out of the try hard diva search winner. Frowning, Stephanie suddenly realised a chance had been lost; she should have made sure the Spirit Squad included Victoria in that little cheer of theirs.

The raven haired woman had been spending far too much time eyeing off Shane McMahon lately.

Already distracted by the thought of all the other people Stephanie needed to put in their place, she missed the look of distress that filled Lita's face as she opened the envelope. So did Dawn, who in her new role as 'the setter of moral guidelines that ruin Stephanie's fun' (a title given to the brunette by Stephanie), missed seeing the redhead blink back tears as Dawn was focused not on Lita but on glaring at the youngest McMahon and at Torrie who was struggling to control her dog.

Crumpled in her shaking hand was a check.

An unnatural static filled her ears as she examined the small piece of paper. The ink, blue ink, was already smudged. Never the less, Lita could read the check without any trouble. Her lip trembled, and her breathe jolted erratically into and out of her lungs. Around her Dawn and Stephanie quarrelled while Torrie tried to get Chloe back under her control without losing a finger to the over enthusiastic dog.

The numbers, more than Lita had expected replaced the static, and as she turned the check over, she began to lose her ability to hold back her tears. She screwed her eyes shut, refusing to allow them to fall, but his writing, the writing on the back of the check was all she could see even as she tried to block it out. Nothing she could do could remove it from her mind. Nothing. Not a single thing.

_'You earned it – Jeff' _

The moment seemed to stretch to an infinity that made it harder and harder to hold back the tears she wasn't allowed to cry. The tears she didn't deserve to cry. She felt worse than when she lost the Women's Championship to Trish, and even worse than when her beloved pet dog had been put down. Biting into her lip as hard as she could, she tried to stop it trembling.

But a small cry escaped her.

One that her friends noticed immediately.

"Lita? Li, what's wrong?"

The check was taken from her hands by Dawn. The brunette sighed and handed it over to Torrie and Stephanie. The other two women shared a knowing look as they recognized what the check was for. A job well done indeed. Stephanie felt very small as she read the dedication at the back of it, and she felt very childish as she stared into her best friend's tearful face.

The bet didn't seem highly educational now that Jeff had been driven off for good.

Now it just seemed wrong, because Stephanie's best friend was in tears and nothing at all could make that right. Not even calling in the Spirit Squad for a preview of their cheer could help. As Dawn and Torrie hugged Lita, wiping away her tears, Stephanie didn't know what to do. She couldn't even remember the last time she felt as helpless as she did now. Doing the only think she could think of, Stephanie fished around in her pocket and brought out a monogrammed handkerchief that she placed it in Lita's hand.

Sniffling, Lita mumbled, "Thanks Stephie,"

"That's okay Li, what are friends for . . ." she replied in a tiny voice.

Dawn glared icily at Stephanie then, but no sharp retort left the Billion Dollar Princess's mouth. There was nothing Stephanie could say. Nor was there anything Dawn could say either. On any other occasion this would have pleased Stephanie; to render Dawn silent was an achievement few obtained. But nothing short of Ashley breaking her other leg could raise Stephanie from the acidic feeling of remorse that was creeping along her every limb.

Stephanie didn't like the feeling, but it was she, not anyone else that was culpable of causing it.

Lita's breathing was still shallow, but the static had left her mind now and not one single trace of it remained. Her friends' concerned faces swam before her, their eyes filled with compassion as they comforted her. The spirally printing of Stephanie's initials on the handkerchief felt worn and soft under Lita's finger tips, and she knew what she had to do.

Speaking up, her voice felt like sandpaper as it left her throat, "Tor, you're going to see Christian after the show, right?"

"Yeah . . ."

"I want to come."

"Oh, Li, I don't think that's the best idea," Dawn muttered, patting Lita's hair soothingly.

"No," Lita protested, sounding strong for the first time in a long time, "I have to see Jeff. I have to. You understand don't you Dawnie?"

Nodding slowly, Dawn Marie and Lita seemed to be saying something neither Torrie nor Stephanie could hope of understanding. Their eyes meet steadily as Dawn nodded, the brunette knowing somehow that Lita was right, and that she was doing the right thing. Silently, they communicated between themselves in a manner that only lifelong friends could.

"You can borrow my car if you want," Dawn finally offered.

Holding Chloe tightly, Torrie didn't seem like the ditzy blonde Dawn and Stephanie knew. Her blue eyes didn't look away or widen in nerves. She looked set, and she looked strong. She even looked a bit like the other three in a strange way. But most of all she looked like the woman Christian had pined over for years and years, the woman he adored, and the woman Stephanie and Dawn had never really seen until that moment in time.

"No thank you Dawn. Lita and I will be just fine on our own." She relied politely, "I'll have my match, and then we can leave. With any luck we'll make it to TNA before they have their main event."

"I can cancel your match if you want," Stephanie offered.

Torrie shook her head, "No, it's not right to break a commitment. I promised Trish I'd be her tag team partner tonight."

"I have to walk Edge to the ring." Lita announced too, her tears clearing. "I said I would."

Narrowing her eyes, Stephanie scowled. That was her father's doing obviously. Edge was only a good heel when Lita was next to him. Stephanie really didn't like how something's were run. If she were only in charge . . . well, if she was in charge she'd probably make a whole lot of other changes apart from 'that', but she wasn't in charge yet. The thought sickened her but it was true. She wasn't the queen bee. Not yet anyway. Not yet . . . but when she was oh the tables would turn. . .

"I think I can alter tonight's card so you'd be finished quicker."

Putting on an unconvincing smile, Lita managed to joke, "Are you going to get the Spirit Squad to interrupt Edge and I?"

Stephanie's eyes lit up.

Now that was a good idea.

Never had the idea of male cheerleaders seen as agreeable to her as it did now.

Hmm, it seemed like her father did get something right every once and a while.

But then again, even a blind dog can find a bone every now and then.

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Sorry about the wait; I had to write an magor essay on police powers and the balance between civil rights and proection against terrorism. Yes, it sounds as interesting as it was to write. But anyway, read and review. Bonus points for the person that can identify the Orange County Copper's quote.

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	10. Metamorphosis

* * *

Title: The highly educational demonstration of how to drive guys off 

Written by Professional Scatterbrain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: Pg – 13 to R

Summary: See challenge set by Karen U

#3 – Karen U

-Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho.

-A bet between Lita and the divas in which Lita says that she know sure fire ways to drive guys off (Lita is, of course, down about her love life).

-Instead of being driven off, the guy falls for her, and Lita, of course, falls for him as well.

-Happy endings.

-No roster split.

-Other divas should be chosen from the following (at least three other divas): Stacy, Stephanie, Lillian, Torrie, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Ivory, Trish: I chose Stephanie, Torrie, and Dawn Marie.

* * *

**Chp10: Metamorphosis **

* * *

The car ride to TNA had been quiet and that had only served to increase her nerves. 

The sudden decision in Stephanie's office quickly was doubted and double doubted within Lita's troubled mind. Whispering voices inside her head taunted her with bleak visions of possible outcomes which could result from visiting him. In her hand the check was crinkled and balled up. Yet every part of her body felt its presence, like a silent threat casting her into the shadows. Her eyes looked out of the car window, but she didn't see a thing. The only thing that filled her vision were the words Jeff had written on the back of the check.

_'You earned it – Jeff'_

She had never meant to hurt him, but she had.

Torrie hadn't spoken much on the ride over. Not that Lita would have been a source of easy conversation if the blonde had. None the less, something noticeably had changed in Torrie. Something had transformed her. Something more than being deceive and turned on by Candace and Victoria within the ring on Raw a few weeks previously. Bitterness did not seem to stain her, and Lita wondered just what her friend was thinking. Christian adored her. He really did, and somehow Lita got the feeling nothing else really mattered for Torrie. The blonde was happy, and after so many years of bouncing from relationship to relationship it was a welcomed change.

Yet it wasn't just Christian that had altered her.

Torrie was strong. Stronger than people would ever think she was. Perhaps Christian had seen it long before everyone else. He had pined over the blonde for so many years, even before they had formally met when the WWE and WCW brands became one. Lita remember Torrie being embarrassed by it back many years previously when he had first started to actively woo her. Whenever he had sent one of his huge bunches of flowers to her, the pretty blonde had called Christian every name she could think behind the closed doors of the women's locker rooms. Now those same bunches of flowers were received with a much different reaction; finally the reaction Christian had aimed for (and no longer one that sent the many bunches of flowers to be minded by Lita in order to stop Candace from getting any ideas).

Torrie really was his 'number one peep'.

But that didn't mean Lita wasn't sickened when the man of the moment caught sight of his lady love and welcomed her by exchanging spit with her over the course of several long excruciating minutes. Lots of wandering hands and quite shockingly inappropriate groping took place within the few seconds it took Lita to avert her gaze. Yet not before the vile image of Torrie's hands underneath Christian's tangerine tights was burned into Lita's retinas.

Oh, the pain.

Oh, the humanity of it all.

The blonde Canadian hadn't noticed her yet (Torrie's electric eel tongue was proving quite the distraction), but Lita didn't need Christian to tell her something was wrong. Or had gone wrong. In the few seconds that Lita had held her gaze on the man it was quite obvious that his defence of his title had not gone smoothly. The TNA Champions tangerine tights (and yes he did look delicious in them as both he and Torrie had asserted on numerous previous occasion) were torn, and his torso and arms were bruised and flushed bright red. A cut on his temple was stitched together, and his face was slightly too pale underneath the corridor lights.

On autopilot Lita forced herself walked pass the couple.

Moving up the backstage hallways, and she knew exactly where she was going. She just did. There was no second guessing where Jeff would be if Christian was in the sorry state he was in. Pushing the door open to the EMT room she froze as she spotted Jeff. Lying splayed out on a bed with ice packs around his knees, he looked absolutely miserable. A hard look filled his face, and he glared at the doctor and nurse who were giving him stitches on his bloody arm. Strangely, although he had changed so much since she had first met him all those years ago, he seemed exactly the same. Boyish yet still handsome in his unique green eyed way.

Her heart skipped a beat, and she abruptly remembered their first kiss in the back of a random EMT room.

They had both been dizzy from pain killers and his green, green eyes had been the only thing she could focus on. Matt's voice had still echoed in her head. He had been yelling at them for messing everything up in the wrestling match, for being stupid, for being reckless and . . . his words had sounded so distorted as they rebounded inside her mind, crashing from side to side of her aching head. Unable to block him out, Lita remember her mind being filled with Matt's voice for several minutes after he left, and when he finally did leave her, he left her and Jeff alone.

Alone and without a lift home.

Unfortunately, during that period of Team Xtreme's existence it wasn't unusual for one or two members of the three member team to be left without transportation. Usually Lita was one in a taxi back to the hotel, or to the airport with either Matt or Jeff by her side whining or giving her the silent treatment. Looking back, it was both the worst and the best time of her life. Back in that tiny antiseptic and blood stained room all she had seen were green, green eyes, and . . . Jeff had examined her injuries, and then in return she had taken it upon herself to kiss his ones better.

Perhaps, it had been the beginning of the end.

Or the end of the beginning.

Whatever it was, Team Xtreme didn't last much longer.

Now, as she watched him being mended she recalled with absolute clarity how he had trembled and how her hands shook the very moment their lips touched. He looked exactly the same as all those years ago when they had first meet. Yet his vivid green eyes, the ones she adored, were dull and muted, and she bit her lip in nerves.

Abruptly her train of thought was interrupted by a slamming door and Christian's voice, "What are you doing here?"

By his side, Torrie was tugging vainly on his arm.

Just like all those years ago, Torrie had walked in on something she would have rather not.

Back then Lita and Jeff had been too light headed and disorientated by many various pills that the doctors had handed out like candy, but now the room was charged with awkwardness and suspicion. Torrie shot Lita an apologetic look and tried (and failed) to gain her boyfriends attention before things could go too far. Yet she was ignored. Christian angrily glared at Lita, and then dragged Torrie into the room as he stormed forward.

"I need to speak to Jeff."

"No you don't." Christian answered for his incapacitated friend (who was now glaring at the redhead instead of the medical staff). "You had your chance and you ruined it. Go away."

"Go away? We're not in fifth grade. Telling me to scram doesn't work anymore."

"Jeff doesn't want you here, so leave." He retorted in a very hostile voice.

Lita merely crossed her arms, "Stop speaking for Jeff."

"I'll stop speaking for him when you stop lying to him." He sneered at her.

His face was pointed and furious and he knew he'd won their little battle of words when she was unable to find any sort of response to his utterly accurate accusations. As Christian gloated, Lita quite unhappily found that she couldn't be annoyed or irritated with him at all. It was horrible, and she couldn't even swear at him because Christian was just protecting his friend. She couldn't fault him for that. Jeff inspired fierce loyalty in people. Jeff was Christian's friend. Christian didn't want to see Jeff get hurt, and she had done nothing but hurt him with the stupid bet. Jeff was probably the closest thing Christian had to a best friend since he and his brother Edge had fought.

Christian probably cared more about Jeff than he did for his brother.

Girls, title, and fame had been the main stakes between the two blonde Canadians.

Years may have past, but those three things had always stayed the same. The last and perhaps final disagreement between the two suicide blondes had reopened old wounds. There was now a deep chasm between the two brothers, and somehow Lita knew that Jeff was the sort of brother a guy like Christian really would have done better with than a guy like Edge. Edge was a good guy when all was considered, but he and Christian were forever competing with each other. It wasn't healthy, yet with Torrie and Jeff by his side, Christian was changing. Lita could see that. He was happier, just like Torrie was. He pretty much was an idiot most of the time, but at least now he was a kind hearted and nice one. With a title in hand and all the attention on him, Christian was truly flourishing.

Jeff had been flourishing too.

Looking down into her hands, she wished for something she wasn't supposed to wish for.

Naughty. She knew she was looking a gift horse in the mouth by coming to see him. She knew it, but . . . she was here. She was here, and, and, she couldn't go back to what her life was before. She just couldn't. Drunken nights and tear stained faces. Misery and mind-numbing matches within a ring and out of it. She had been so awfully unhappy. He had been the only good thing in her life, the only person that loved her unconditionally.

She had used that.

Used him.

"What are you doing here?"

Jeff's dry voice interrupted the bickering pair. It sent the room into a lull of overcast silence. Only the sound of the medical staff filled the air, yet they too felt the uncomfortable tension and muttered a few words about giving the four some privacy. Disappearing in a flood of grubby white lab coats and rubber gloves, Jeff was soon the subject of everyone's attention.

"Nothing. She's leaving, aren't you?"

Lita recognised the threat when she heard one.

But that had never stopped her.

"I need to speak to you Jeff."

Struggling up, he grimaced, "You've already said that."

She had. Abruptly she was nervous again and she didn't remember anything that she had planned to say. Jeff looked at her intently waiting for her to say something, anything. But she was at a loss. He looked so tired and so worn out. He looked like he'd had the worst night of his life, and she really didn't want to make it worse. All the reasons and all the words she'd thought of to validate her actions fled her mind and the words that did leave her mouth where bare and unadorned.

"I'm sorry." She told him, and she was.

"I know."

At this, Christian snorted angrily, "I can't believe you're forgiving her after everything!"

Snapping his eyes over to the blonde Canadian, Jeff spoke sharply, "No, I'm not. You know me better than that."

Lita blinked rapidly and looked away. Mortified she felt Torrie's compassionate gaze on her face. She had never been good at apologising. Telling Jeff she was sorry had been hard enough, but in front of Christian and Torrie was too much. Lita had embarrassed herself a lot over the years. She'd been dumped in front of an international audience, she'd been insulted by practically every person on the WWE roster, and lost far too many matches to Trish Stratus (otherwise known as the bleached blonde leech), but this pretty much topped it off.

Then Jeff looked at her and spoke again, "I know you're sorry. I just don't care."

Lita couldn't do anything but nod dumbly.

What else did she expect from him? A happy ending? What? She didn't know, but she had come here for something. Something he wasn't able to give her anymore. She had burnt whatever bridge that had linked her to him because of the stupid, stupid bet that Stephanie had conceived after a night of heavy drinking. She couldn't ask anything from him. Yet selfishly she wanted more. She wanted him. Perhaps she always had and that was why she couldn't find the strength to leave him.

Sighing softly, Jeff's shoulders slumped in defeat, "We can't ever go back to what it was like before. You know that."

Lita nodded again, yet she was unable to stop tears from forming in her eyes.

"I trusted you Li," he told her finally.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I never wanted to hurt you, but I did, and I'm sorry,"

"I was a bet to you."

"No, you weren't." Lita answered steadily, now with the courage to meet and hold his gaze. "I just wanted . . ."

"Wanted what?" Jeff prompted as she trailed off.

Lita paused.

Maybe Dawn was right.

Maybe the bet hadn't been a bet.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

The bet hadn't been about money. Sure that was the final straw on the camels back that Stephanie had used in order to get Lita to agree to it. But it had never been about money when it came down to it. Jeff was just so good. Maybe she had wanted to push him away from her. Maybe she had wanted him to see how horrid she could be. Maybe she had wanted to test him, to see if he could still stand to be with her even though she could act so hideously. And maybe he'd be better off without her weighing him down and keeping him from finding someone better. But she wasn't and she would never be better off without him in her life. She wanted him. Wanted him and needed him too much to give him up. So she stepped closer to him, and grasped his hand in hers before he could pull away from her.

In a rush, she spoke before she could lose her nerve, "For some reason, I don't feel normal unless I'm around you, and whenever you're not around I miss you."

"I don't trust you."

"I know."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do."

Biting her lip, her eyes fluttered and broke away from Jeff's green ones before she opened her mouth, "You're the only person I've ever counted upon, and you're the only person that has always been there for me."

Jeff took a deep breath, obviously considered what she said. Weighing it inside his mind. Her eyes, the ones he loved more than anything were glistening with tears. He knew she was telling him the truth. He felt it. The desperation in her was overwhelming. He couldn't ever remember seeing her like this, not even once and . . . he wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe her so much that it hurt. Yet there was no quick fix. No magical words to make everything better. No cure for the drenching sadness and rejection he had felt since over hearing Dawn and Lita heatedly discuss the bet.

So he asked her the only thing he had enough energy to hear an answer for, "Why did you take put in Stephanie's BS?"

"I don't know."

She did, and Jeff knew that. However he held his tongue. More than half of him was afraid to know why his best friend, his lover, his Bella Lita had decided to take part in the bet. He had trusted her more than anyone in his entire life. Before the bet she had never hurt him. She had protected him, and she had been his only friend to stick by his side during his darkest soul destroying days.

"I love you."

Her words startled both of them. Her hazel eyes widened in shock, and her grip on Jeff's hand faltered. Behind them, Torrie had given up on trying to remove Christian from the room. Half of her eagerly listened to ever word that left Jeff and Lita's mouths, while the other half felt utterly awkward and as if she was intruding on such a private and intimate moment. Christian however had his shrewd eyes focused on Lita just waiting for her to make a false step. Unlike Torrie, Christian was not torn in half, and he was more than looking forward to removing the redhead from Jeff's presence the moment she said something that upset him.

"That doesn't make things better."

With her free hand, Lita brought it up to her face. There it was. She had it. His answer. No more questions now. No more second chances. Distressed, she breathed in a harsh gulp of air and tried to think clearly. But emotion clouded her thoughts and made her want to run and hide. Smiling a watery smile, she removed her hand from his.

"Okay. I'll just go now."

"Wait." Jeff called, halting Lita's retreat, "It doesn't make things better, but, but it's a start."

He held out his hand, and she took it. He then after a long moment he pulled her close and hugged her tight. As he did a few traitorous tears fell and she knotted her fingers into his hair not caring that he was bruised and injured. She just wanted to be close to him. After being so afraid that he'd never so much as look at her again, his touch was more than she could have ever hoped to have again.

They weren't better.

Things weren't like they used to be.

They had to start all over again. Their friendship had been changed so much and so little trust remained. Yet what was left was still more than either of them had ever had with another person. Guilt and anger was still there. It would still exist for a while. Things like trust couldn't be rebuilt with a few words, kisses, or band aids. But she couldn't give him up. She just couldn't. She refused to.

In the past everything good in her life had been deemed too good for her.

Perhaps the bet wasn't all bad. If Stephanie had never tricked Lita's participation in it, Lita doubted that she would have ever had the courage to go after Jeff. Maybe in the future she might tell him that, but for now such confession was out of the question. It would sound like an excuse and in reality it was anything but. Loving Jeff was intimidating. Yet in the few weeks she had been with him it had felt natural, normal, and right. Nothing and nobody could come close to what she felt for him.

"I love you Jeff,"

The second time she told him that she loved him, the words felt like they had been dying to leave her mouth. Repeating them only made her feel lighter and happier. He smiled brilliantly. His face opened and his grass green eyes twinkled at her. Maybe it was the first step back. The first step towards something better. Those green, green eyes that she loved were back. Behind the pair, Torrie was sniffing and Christian was reluctantly handing her a monogrammed, neatly ironed handkerchief before she launched herself into his arms.

It wasn't really a happy ending.

Instead, it was more like a happy beginning, for all of them.

* * *

Within a quiet and very pretty café that Stephanie was utterly sure no other person related to the WWE would have the good taste to eat at, she and Dawn Marie sat. They had shared a very uncomfortable lunch without Lita or Torrie there to act as buffers. In result there had been many awkward moments and an almost violent stare down over what year of Grange wine was a suitable match for their meal. Luckily for them, and the surrounding customers and staff, the two friends were nearing the end of their meal and with no incident marring the evening (or their credit card bills). 

Politely folding her napkin, Dawn reached over to grasp the steam of her wineglass, "Thank you for inviting me out tonight Stephanie."

Something about the way Dawn's praise was given irritated the youngest McMahon. She didn't know why, but it did. With white knuckles she gripped her knife and fork. Spearing a piece of steak, Stephanie's eye twitched. Grinding her teeth, she tried to maintain her calm. Annoyingly, Dawn just smiled serenely at the scene. In response Stephanie forced herself to keep eating methodically even though all she wanted to do was drop her utensils and tell Dawn to stop trying to wheedle her way into dating Shane McMahon.

"I've had such a lovely time," Dawn continued.

Stephanie wrinkled her nose; Dawn was doing that on purpose.

"You're welcomed."

Dawn smile faded a little, and a pensive look spread across her face. For a second she looked so much like Linda that Stephanie had to stop herself from gagging in disgust. One mother was more than enough thank you very much. Not that Dawn ever paid any attention to that fact.

"Stop that." Stephanie announced, crossing her ankles neatly.

Dawn rolled her eyes, "Don't be so suspicious."

Cantankerously, Stephanie looked over Dawn's shoulder to the check the time on the grandfather clock by the bar. Dawn not only noticed the action but understood what it meant. But she wasn't one of Stephanie's business partners and she certainly wasn't one of her underlings so Dawn purposefully ignored what Stephanie was ever so bluntly suggesting.

Perhaps they were both fed up with dealing with each other.

Stephanie had been run to the ground by her parents, other employees, and several WWE wrestlers that liked to think they were above her. With Wrestlemania only days away it was crunch time. This was otherwise known as the worst time of the year for Stephanie (right before the best, when she personally could fire people after Wrestlemania had concluded). Drowning in paper work and demanding family members, Stephanie was more than on edge. Without Lita there calm her, or Torrie there to belittle, Stephanie was a ticking time bomb.

Dawn on the other hand was the complete opposite. Out of the crazy world of touring and wrestling matches (at least until she'd returned to her previous wrestling form) she was seeing the world with clarity that Stephanie couldn't even begin to imagine or understand. She had bigger things to worry about than comprehending Stephanie's moral dilemma between getting revenge on Triple H, or alternatively choosing to screw John Cena out of a title. Dawn had a family now, a child that depended on her and the Dudley Boys protectively watching over her.

It was for these reasons and many more that the two women decided not to hold their tongues.

It had been a long time coming.

"You expect everyone to hold their own against you just because you had to do it your entire life," Dawn stated abruptly and with raw hurtful honesty.

The other brunette rolled her eyes, "If this is another plea-"

"No, it's not. I'm not asking for my job back." Dawn told Stephanie without any pretence.

"Then what are you asking for?"

"I'm not asking for anything."

"Then what is this about?"

Dawn bit her lip, but the words burst out anyway, "You wanted Lita to push Jeff away. That's why you chose him. Because, even back when you were at your most lovable Jeff saw through the act and you hated it. He was the only one that saw you, and you hated him for becoming Lita's best friend. He'd always loved her, but you were always worried that you'd lose the one friend that never gave up on you."

Stephanie rolled her eyes dismissively, "Stop trying to-"

"To what? I'm not drawing at straws. Everyone knows you've had a vendetta against Jeff since before Lita came into the picture."

"Don't be ridicules."

Dawn shrugged, and returned to her meal. It would only take a few moments for the other brunette to respond. Dawn knew better than almost anyone how greatly Stephanie hated being one upped by anyone. Only Lita occasionally escaped Stephanie's need for the final word and that happened rarely. So Dawn waited. She'd always been a patient woman, not remarkable so, but enough to keep her in good stead. Dawn knew that Stephanie would respond, and when she did, Dawn was not in the least surprised by what she said.

"I'm not telling you what happened between that loser and I." Stephanie stated archly, almost double daring Dawn to do so.

Dawn just shrugged.

Stephanie's eyes narrowed, "Don't play games with me."

"I'm not."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Jeff and Lita are together. Their head over heals for each other, and this time nothings going to stuff that up."

"I never intended for anything to ruin that."

Dawn gave the other brunette a dubious look, and Stephanie blushed a little, fiddling with the straw in her cocktail. Okay, so maybe Stephanie had meant to do a little damage on Jeff's fragile world. But it wasn't like the boy was permanently incapacitated in the aftermath of the bet. He had a more than reasonable bank account, a (now) successful job, and unfortunately for the human gene pool, Jeff also managed to come away from the bet with a girl. The Billion Dollar Princess really didn't see what was the big deal about the bet.

"What are you doing here?" Stephanie finally asked, relying on her act of stubbornness that she was known for.

"Don't be repetitive. You've asked that question before; we both remember the first time well enough not to need a reminder." Dawn chided in a strict tone.

The time for games was over.

"Lita was always so perceptive. Maybe that was why none of us can ever really say we won a match against her. In that ring she was always one step ahead of us."

"I was Women's Champion."

"So you were," Dawn relented with a soft smile on her face, "But so was Lita. Twice. Neither times did she need any help to get it like you did, or like I did to get the occasional win off her."

"What's the point of all of this?" Stephanie asked, irritated by Dawn's harsh examination of her in ring history against the redhead.

Dawn shrugged her bronze shoulders, letting her dark hair slip forward out of its clasp. She didn't look like she used too, but she still looked beautiful. Beautiful in a way Stephanie knew she herself could never be. Dawn then smiled an enigmatic grin before relenting a little, and speaking again, this time openly.

"Lita is perceptive. More perceptive than I am. That's why I always believed she'd be the one to speak to you about this." With a laugh, Dawn allowed a pretty smile to cross her face, "But I always forgot how easy she could be on us. It's kind of ironic how lenient she is with us, and how hard she is on herself, isn't it?"

"That's why I made the bet. Lita never sees anything but what she did wrong. She never lets herself acknowledge how Matt, Edge, and all her other boyfriends played an even part in the break up. Nothing is ever as simple as one party destroying the other,"

Dawn liked Stephanie's honesty, even if it wasn't complete. The 'demonstration' had always been about more than Lita and Jeff. It was never intended to be anything as innocent as Stephanie had described it as, but Dawn had to admit that her friend was partly speaking the truth when she claimed that the bet's purpose was to stop Lita's harmful mindset.

But she was getting off track.

"Because Lita won't, I have to tell you something Steph," Dawn said in a steady voice, "You are my friend. I may disagree with you at times, but you are my friend. You can't keep pushing people away, and you can't keep using people. It's not right, and in the end it's you who will end up hurt and alone. I don't know what happened between you and Jeff, but I do know something did, just like I know something happened between you and Jericho."

Stephanie was silent.

So Dawn continued slowly, her words unfolding cautiously, "You pushed Jericho away, and now he's gone. You've got nothing left, not one thing at all to show for all your plans and tactics, mind games and blackmail. He might have loved you. I don't know if Chris did or didn't, but I'm certain that he cared for you. That used to mean something for you."

Stephanie looked down in her hands.

"I did . . . it does."

Dawn laid a hand over Stephanie's clenched fists, her touch more comforting that Linda's. It occurred to Stephanie in that very moment that she had never seen Dawn's child, not even once. She'd missed the christening, and she'd found reasons to miss every other occasion that involved Dawn's little baby. But Dawn was a mother, she had a child, and she had a family of her own. Long ago, Stephanie had almost had that. Almost but not quite. Because of that, she felt helpless and useless.

In a distant and disjointed voice she spoke in a quietly, "Jeff tried to stop me. But I didn't listen. He tried to warn me, to keep me safe, but I didn't want to be safe. I'd been safe my whole life and I wanted something different. I was so horrid to him, and so horrid to Lita too."

Dawn didn't ask what Jeff had tried to stop Stephanie from doing. Looking back on their shared past, Dawn knew that the younger Hardy brother had always known far more than he should for someone as naïve and innocent as he had been. But Stephanie had once been innocent too, and Dawn suddenly wondered 'what if' as she looked at Stephanie's pained expression.

"It's been so long since I've spoken to Christopher, I can't even remember the last time I heard his voice."

Dawn then grabbed Stephanie's purse, and pulled out her phone, sliding it across the table.

"I'm sorry you got fired Dawn." Stephanie admitted suddenly, her eyes wide and open for the first time in years, "I never wanted it to be like this. I wish I could make it all better for you."

Dawn couldn't speak. She had never expected such an admission and it startled her in a way that she didn't know how to process. Stephanie seemed to feel the same, because she leered a little at Dawn, behaving how she usually did instead of how open she had been only moments ago. Carefully, Dawn chose her words, not wanting to stay anything that would once again put strain on their delicate friendship, a friendship that was only possible due to the shared interested in both remaining Lita's friend.

At the moment it was hard to tell who needed Lita's friendship more.

A single mother, removed from the world she had once been the centre of.

Or an isolated ice queen unable to maintain any other friendship bar the redheads.

"You can't fix anything Steph. I've got a family now. I was fired for wanted my child, for having my child. But I don't regret it. I was miserable for so long. I wouldn't ever want to go back to that period of my life."

Stephanie could understand that. She understood misery and she understood why Dawn didn't want to repeat those times. Yet she still didn't understand why Dawn wouldn't accept her help. Didn't Dawn already have plans to wrestle again on the Indy scene? Wisely, and perhaps for the first time Stephanie let the matter slip, not allowing herself to become insulted in any way. It just wasn't worth it with Dawn Marie.

"Who is the father?" Stephanie asked, this time not harshly, not as a joke, not as an insult, and not as a disapproving barb.

This time, for the first time, she asked as a friend.

"Someone making your father a great deal of money." Dawn responded slightly unevenly, slightly upset.

"Can I do anything?"

Dawn shook her head, her dark hair flying around her face, "No, but you could call Jericho instead."

Stephanie nodded, she could tell it wasn't what Dawn wanted, but . . .

It wasn't her place to ask further questions. It was Lita's place and her place alone. Dawn and the redhead had a long history. Lita had built up the needed trust to be able to ask such things from the brunette and offer them freely in return. Stephanie had not. She had not even acted like a real friend for most of the time they had coexisted in the same friendship group. However, given time, perhaps that would change. Maybe, in a couple of months Dawn would accept help from someone other than a Dudley brother or a redheaded daredevil.

It was that reason, Stephanie agreed to her friend's suggestion.

Opening her mobile phone, Stephanie, for the first time in years, entered his number. From the corner of her eye, she could see Dawn, with a small smile on her face nodding in encouragement, and for the first time in years, Stephanie smiled back at the other woman. But she couldn't help closing her eyes as she heard him answer her phone call.

It had been so long.

"Well Princess, how may I ask did you get hold of my phone number," announced a familiar cocky voice at the other end of the line.

Ignoring Dawn's now blistering smile, and Stephanie's own somersaulting nerves, she responded perhaps not as bitingly as normally, "I'm a McMahon, I know everything,"

"And that includes my new mobile phone number?" He bantered mirthfully, "I didn't know you still cared."

She snorted, her hands shaking and her voice far from steady, "You know me; I like to keep tabs on people."

"Oh, is that you call stalking a vulnerable and helpless man now a days."

She laughed, her eyes blinking rapidly. She couldn't seem to keep still. His voice, mischievous, and full of life and gutter jokes washed over her, and she . . . she had missed him. With that realization, Stephanie almost laughed, because it was true, and she hadn't even really noticed it until that moment.

Struggling not to fall into a heap, she forced herself to respond, "You have never been vulnerable, nor have you been helpless."

"You wound me so!" he exclaimed, and she could almost imagine his pouting expression that was sure to be displayed across his handsome face.

Meanwhile, Dawn stood, gathering her things. Patting Stephanie on the hand, Dawn excused herself, leaving the restaurant and the conversation between the two lovers alone. As she left, she felt tendrils of happiness insider herself. Looking back through the window, the smile of her friends face boasted Dawn's spirits. She felt happy and alive. She had done something, altered the present so perhaps with any luck it might be a change for the better.

Back in the restaurant, Stephanie idly examined the table, then . . . "That . . . that little brat!"

"Hey, don't insult me, I have delicate nerves." Jericho complained, while loudly humming along to the sound of some rather prominent rock music in the background.

Distracted, Stephanie frowned, "I wasn't talking about you Princess. Dawn left me the bill!"

Chris Jericho laughed.

Loudly.

Stephanie considered hanging up on him.

But not for long.

She really had missed talking to him.

"I am a freaking god."

Then he had to go make a comment about the restaurant manager taking other forms of payment other than cash or credit. He chortled roaring to his own joke, then suggested in a rather leered filled voice that she go ask if she could 'wash 'dishes' in order to reimburse the restaurant'. She hung up on him them.

However in less than a minute he'd called her back.

This time suggesting, since she had eaten something at the restaurant, it'd be only fair if the restaurant could eat something of hers.

She hung up on him again.

Then he called her back, obviously just getting onto a roll.

This time she didn't hang up on him.

But she did ask if he was really vain enough to be singing along to his own CD.

He told her yes, yes he was, then he asked how she planned on paying for her meal, and if he could listen.

* * *

The End

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Wow, I've finished it. This originally started as a personal challenge to write something light hearted, but I had so much fun especially writing the dopey guys, sweet (but slightly dim) Torrie, bitchy Stephanie, and of course the over thinking Lita and Jeff the sweet heart. I really had a great time and I wish I could write a sequel or something to this, but the challenge has tied up all of its loose ends so I'm out of luck.

For all you readers out there, here's your chance; send me a challenge. I want to write a couple of one - shots before I wade back into the deep waters of long, marathon fics.

Oh, and by the way, I am super disappointed that no one got the Orange County Copper quote! I love that show (Mikey for President). But I'll give you all a second chance. If anyone does get it, and send me a review or email, I'll write practically any challenge they give me first. 

Anyway please R&R, I'd love to know what you think of not only this chapter but this whole fic as a whole.

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